


Follow Me

by slyfighter2011



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAD!Maryse, Bad!Robert, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Homophobic Slurs, I suck at tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past relationship of Mangus/Imasu, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Triggers, did I say I suck at tagging, self-harm mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-04-13 22:44:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 39
Words: 58,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14122434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyfighter2011/pseuds/slyfighter2011
Summary: It’s an AU of Alec, Izzy, Jace, Magnus and the rest. Alec is 17, Magnus 21. Who knows how things will turn out for our boys, and how Alec’s parents will take him being gay. The only way to find out, if to come in and join the ride of our two pretties.





	1. Follow Me

**Author's Note:**

> So the song is Follow Me (and the title name because of) by Written by Wolves
> 
> This is just me testing the waters. ;)  
> Depending on the response I get maybe will see where the mysterious man has lead Alec off too.
> 
> But this is AU Alec and his siblings are all in high school. He’s 17/18 and whatnot. 
> 
> This is my first fic in ages and outside of making them in Harry Potter but even then in that gene it’s been ages so enjoy and please review

‘ _Pandemonium_.’ Alec gazed at the sign as it flashed to where it just said, ‘ _Demon_ ;’ He was curious about the nature of the club. The only thing either Izzy or Jace would tell him was that it was a hype club. It wasn’t as if Alec even understood what any of that meant, he didn’t quite understand his generation when it came to lingo. None of it made any sense. They were standing just down from the club, as they were waiting on two others that Izzy and Jace had the pleasure of knowing. The girl was in Izzy’s class at their high school and so was the boy, Simon. Who were the ones getting the fake ids, because Simon’s cousin Raphael dealt in those sorts of things.

Not that Alec questioned it, besides the surprised photo taking that Izzy had taken of him as he agreed to go with her and Jace tonight. Just then, he head the faint yells of Jace and Isabelle’s name beginning hollered from behind him. Pushing himself from the brick as he tapped on Izzy’s shoulder who was engrossed in taking a selfie. It made Alec roll his eyes, because she always was. “Hey!” As she snap the photo and posting it to her Instagram. “Sorry were late..” The girl who Alec was assuming was Clary, because the guy with her certainly wasn’t. “We were waiting on these.” Simon spoke up as he passed each out to everyone, but when he got to Alec; Simon tried to stay as stoic as he could. There was a crack of a smile on his lips. “Really Izzy.” As he saw the photo that was mid eye roll. “What it’s a good picture, if questioned you can always just say you sneezed and they wouldn’t retake it.” She shrugged as she didn’t see a problem with the photo.

“twenty-one?” He eyed the birth year on the id, “Izzy, you and them won’t pass for twenty-one!?” Alec had exclaimed at this quietly as the bouncer was just a little away from them. He could pretty much hear Jace and her eyes roll, “That’s because you and Jace are the only ones that look the part.” She shrugged. “They allow eighteen year olds in too, they just have to be accompanied with someone older.” It was what Clary and some of her other friend had said. That didn’t easy his worries any, “Geez Alec quit being such a stick in the mud.” She pushed his shoulder as she walked away, “She’s right you know, lighten up a little bit.” Jace threw his arm around Alec shoulder.

It wasn’t as if he had it that easy, mostly because Izzy and his parents were much stricter on him. He was supposed to lead these two who were always getting into some type of trouble. His parents had adopted Jace after his father had passed away unexpectedly during the night when he’d been staying the night.. Alec watched both his siblings go on ahead with the other two of their group. It was frustrating, because of his parents mainly. They knew him to be the responsible one, the one that wouldn’t take lots of risks because he followed the rules where Izzy and Jace were always breaking them.

  
Alec had lazied behind as he walked up to the line to stand in to get into the club. He wasn’t to sure he wanted to even go in, the picture on the fake id looked horrid. It didn’t even capture him in the best light. It looked more so as if he’d been possessed how his eyes even looked. Though it had been him rolling his eyes mid snap of the photo Izzy had took as soon as he said yes to even coming. “Alec, come on!” Jace had hollered out at him, but Alex waved him on. Watching on as Jace shook his head as he and the other three went in.

Alec could hear the bass from outside, he wasn’t a fan of huge crowds of people. Mostly because as his siblings liked to call him, a stick in the mud that couldn’t relax and have fun. They knew a lot of the reasons where, but one he tried to keep secret even from them.

Standing outside of the club Alec could hear the boom of the bass rocking outside the building. Crowds of people weren’t really his thing, it rose his anxiety. Through here he was standing in line to get into this club, knowing if he didn’t his sister would never let him live it down. With a groan, he stood in the slowly moving line. Groups of people were going in at a time, even people jumping the line were going in. Before he knew it, he was next, “Id?” Alec had zoned out at some point. It was at the sound of the bouncer clearing his throat that got Alec’s attention. “Oh,” Alec nervously rubbing the back of his head with his left hand, while handing him the id. “Uh...yeah the clerk wouldn’t retake it..” he shrugged as he was grestured to go on inside.

Once inside you could feel the bass of the music pulsing just as hard as your own heart beating. It was rhythmic and it made you want to rock your body with the feel of the bass. The club was dark which was intentional, Alec knew. There was more than enough light from the laser lights that were bouncing all over the room. His eyes were scanning for at least Izzy and Jace. Mostly because he was responsible for the two of them. He didn’t quite know the other two very well, to say that about them. Although Alec knew his siblings well enough that they could cause any kind of mischief with anyone.

While weaving between others who were trying to move without the crowds as he was. Though some part of him doubt that they were looking for anyone in particular like he was. There was no telling how long Alec had stood in line for, and how and what kind of damage Izzy and Jace was causing without his supervision.

Alec eyes scanning the room as he moved a crossed it, but there were tables and booths both he couldn’t very well get to, mainly because of how crowded the place was. Just as he was surveying over towards the bar for at least Izzy. She was far more a flirt than what he was, she didn’t have to flash her id to get her drinks. Alec knew at least that much, but as he thought he caught a glimpse of Izzy, his shoulder bruised into someone. As he turned to apologize his mouth gaped at the sight of the man he saw. “S-sorry.” He stuttered trying to grasp the word. “It’s alright, darling.” The guy spoke leaving Alec in a state of drool face.

“Earth to Alec?” Izzy waved her hand in front of his face.” “Wh-what?” Breaking the trace he had found himself in after watching that magical man walk away. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last two minutes at least.” Her eyes rolled holding two drinks in her hands, holding one out towards Alec. “Here.” Pushing it towards him. He sipped at it, he wasn’t much of a drinker. “What is this?” Looking at Izzy. “A drink.” He should’ve known to expect that from her. “Come on we’re over here.” Taking his hand knowing it would be one of the only ways they’d make it there together.

No sooner than Izzy and he gotten over to the small table they all were sharing, did Clary pull Jace toward the dance floor. Feeling slightly envious of this girl who was taking all his brother time away from him. Just at that point Simon asked Izzy if she wanted to dance, and so there was Alec again alone in the club, but this time with drink in hand.

Out of the whole group Alec was the only one there that didn’t have someone to pair off with. Again that was probably the reason why he was the one chaperoning the other four. Groaning as he watched Izzy seducing the poor kid Simon, with a shake of his head he threw back what was left in his glass. Which was pretty much, the whole thing. He hadn’t drank much of it after Izzy had given it to him after being left at the table. Watch the other dancing and having a good time as well as of everyone else in the club. Alec had pushed himself up from the chair he placed himself in just as everyone left him sitting there. As he stood up the room spun slightly, but he wasn’t much of a drinker. So it took more of an effect on him, Alec thought about moving towards the bar to get something else.. But somehow he found himself moving through the crowd towards the dance floor.

Just as he had a song that seemed to resonated within him.

 _I can see you’re heart b-b-beating like there’s no tomorrow_  
_Tell me this for sure, do you really feel alive?_

That was because his eyes landed on the very fine man he’d bumped into while ago. When he’d been looking for Izzy.

Alec didn’t know his name, but he was drawn towards him like a moth to the flame. Just as he moved towards him, the lyrics to the song changed—

 _I’ll tell you something for real_  
_You won’t turn back once you feel_  
_The sin inside you_  
_I know it’ll change your life_

  
There was some type of sin stirring inside of Alec as he watched this man’s dancing.

 _Follow Me_  
 _Follow_  
I know you’re dying to fly so take the leap and just  
Follow Me  
Follow  
I’ll take you places that you never dreamed of

Just at that point the man was beckoning him, as the words of the song took over and Alec felt his body moving towards him as they said follow me. The song was almost like a spell being cast on him as Alec stepped closer toward the others body.

Almost as a cool breeze had burst through as Alec placed his hand on this person’s hip completely entranced as the words to the song again said follow me and felt the body twisted beckoning him closer again. The air seemed to have only touched Alec cause he felt a shiver run throughout his body as their bodies grow closer.

_You’ve spent your whole life living by every rule they gave you  
Don’t you think it’s time that you cut out all the lies boy_

  
Again the lyrics to this song they were dancing too, it struck a chord within him.

_It’s just a short trip from the path of a saint to sinner  
You should try it on, boy it comes in every size_

  
‘ _Oh, yes it is_.’ Alec thought to agree with the lyrics as he ran his hands down the side of this guys hips that were pushing into his own. They were close enough to kiss, but with even the little will power Alec had still he wouldn’t give into that temptation at least. He was sure by now, that Izzy was staring at him, but he wasn’t really registering where he was at this point. He was to far gone in the song and the gorgeous body before him.

 _I’ll tell you something for real_  
You won’t turn back once you feel  
The sin inside you  
I know it’ll change your life

If this was indeed sin, he didn’t want to go back. Which he’d already knew his orientation, he was just hiding in the closet. If this was what it felt like to be free of that affliction he would gladly come out if it meant being with his beautiful person.. Their eyes had locked just as the song ended.. Bodies still locked within the moment as the next song began.. Alec felt his hand being tugged and he followed him off the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking off where we left off then switching to Izzy.. then back to Alec and Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it’s safe to say after this.. I have no idea how many chapters this may end up being.. it truly started off as a dabble/song fic XD. 
> 
> Anyways enjoy and r&r

There was a heat blazing between their two bodies, Alec’s eyes were unfocused as he’d been lead off the dance floor. It was a bit more secluded away from much of the noise, but you could still faintly hear the music still playing.

 

_Sometimes you lose your self control_

_When everything's faded_ _  
_ _It's hard to hold on_

 

Alec liked to pride himself on his self control, but between the one drink Izzy had given him and this very delicious man.. It was very hard to hold onto what control he had, he could feel it slipping away as he heard the man speak, “Darling?” Was the first words that registered with Alec since they’d came to where they were. “We never properly introduced _ourselves_.” Pulling away from the boy as Magnus did, creating space between them. Allowing temptation to pull the other boy back to him. “Magnus, Magnus Bane.” He said effortlessly, gesturing back towards Alec in waiting for a response.

 

Not only had Magnus entranced him during their dance, but the way he spoke caught him off guard making him swoon.. “A-Alec.” He tripped over his own name which caused him to feel his cheeks heating up.

 

—-

 

While the follow me song was playing Izzy was using her best moves on Simon, who was pretty much already drooling all over her. Glancing in the direction of Simon, she thought she’d seen Alec passing by Simon and her, though Clary and Jace weren’t that far of from them. Turning back facing Simon, who she’d just placed her wrist on his shoulder giving him a wink.

 

What she witnessed going on down from Simon and her.. It was when some of the people had moved away that she had indeed saw Alec walk past them. But what she didn’t expect to see was him dancing with someone, especially someone he didn’t know. “Hey?” She leaned next to Simon’s ear. “Yeah?” Simon had answered back. What she figured was that Simon might know who was with her brother, at least she was hoping. “Any idea who that is over there with Alec?” She gestured off towards the right of them as Jace and Clary were on the left.

 

“Uh..” Simon looked over, but the club was sort of dark and the club hadn’t been opened but for maybe a month or two. Sure Clary and him came sort of often, but he couldn’t exactly tell who it was. “No, sorry.” He spoke apologetically towards her.

 

Just as he said that the song ended and they both witnessed Alec being pulled off the floor. “Where do you think their going?” Izzy asked Simon, but all he did was shrug. Izzy was intrigued to know what was going on, but was trying to contain herself. That was only because Alec was her big brother, and she was the annoying little sister as he would say if she interrupted whatever was going on.. Though she felt her phone begin to buzz, though she had it on silent she could feel the vibration through her pocket. “Jace!” She hollered, as he looked towards her.

 

“What?” As Carly and himself moved towards Izzy and Simon. “Look at your phone.” She said with a groan. Jace pulled his phone out of his pocket, “Fuck.” Watching her nod. “We gotta find Alec.”

 

_Mom: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ALL!?_

_I know you aren’t at Raj’s studying or even at Lydia’s._

 

“What’s going on?” Clary and Simon both asked, looking rather baffled. “Technical we weren’t supposed to be out,” Jace answered, “So we’re busted and we pretty much had to beg Alec to even come with us..” Izzy groaned. “We shouldn’t have asked Raj, and Alec must’ve said something to Lydia. But Raj, the guy can’t lie to our mother.” Raj was an intern for their mother who was a high end lawyer, plus their mother was extremely terrifying sometimes. Lydia was their father’s business partners daughter who was close with Alec and only about two to three years older that Alec and Jace.

 

“Either way, we gotta find Alec, cause I’m pretty sure if we all got the same text then he’s gotten worse.” Izzy sighed, knowing just good and well how hard she was on Alec. Her intentions were good, but Alec was still a teenager who needed to have some rebellion against their parents. But, that just wasn’t their brother tho. “Now which way did him and mystery man go, Simon?” Asking mostly him because he’d seen Alec get lead away from the dance floor.

 

—-

 

There had been this awkward tension since they’d introduced themselves. Alec—he was being pretty much his normal self at this point. Besides Izzy, Jace and Lydia. He didn’t have much of a circle of friends besides them that he could rely on. Lydia knew that he was gay, or at least that he expected that he was. His other siblings he didn’t tell, but there was just quiet brooding he had that just sort of told them. Though his parents were still pretty keen on him marrying Lydia in the some off distance future, because Lydia was his father’s business partners daughter. So, he didn’t quite know how to say it, besides he just couldn’t be open about it. “I’m not gonna bite darling, —well not unless you want me too.” Magnus winked and Alec’s blushed deepened as Magnus had patted on the cushion seat next to him.

 

Alec gulped and moved over towards where Magnus was, and sat down. This wasn’t awkward, not at all. That was such a lie, one he keep telling himself in his head. Here he was sitting next to this gorgeous man, and he was fidgeting like he couldn’t sit still. Funnily enough Alec had turned his phone off, because he didn’t see the point of needing it on. “Would you like something to drink?” Magnus asked as they weren’t sitting all that far from the bar. Alec nodded, and watched Magnus glide over ordering himself a martini and one for Alec as well. “Here you go.” Alec smiled and thank him.

 

Alec eyed the drink, it looked as odd as whatever Izzy had given him earlier. Shrugging to himself watching Magnus sip at his own, so he did as well but just in a much bigger gulp. He wasn’t a drinker, it wasn’t as if he knew to start off small, plus he was eighteen. So he wasn’t exactly legal to even be drinking it.

 

“I haven’t seen you in here before, is this your first time?” Alec wasn’t exactly listening, he was more so listening to his hammering heart in his chest, as well as watching the bass bounce in his drink. “What?” After what he thought was his name being called, which it was. “I asked if this was your first time coming here, to Pandemonium.” Alec slowly nodded yes, before replying. “Yes, but mostly because my siblings begged me to come with them.” He shrugged, taking another drink of whatever it was.

  


Wasn’t long after that did he hear his name being called, “Alec!!” Izzy finally spotted him, as she walked up on them. Her eyes adverted to who Alec was sitting next to, more so than her brother. Whoever this was the man had more than decent fashion sense. “Hold on.” She texted Jace telling him she found Alec and to meet them outside the club. “Izzy? What’s going on?” Alec asked confused and also blushing because Magnus was right there. “You didn’t get my texts, or moms?” Izzy asked. That was when even though Alec was sitting down feel like he sank farther down into the leather seat next to Magnus. “Mom texted?” That wasn’t good, and wouldn’t be good once they got home. “My phones dead, that’s why..” This wasn’t going to end well, at least he got to meet this gorgeous man before his death.

 

“We’re so busted.” Alec muttered, and Izzy nodded. “We gotta go!! Jace is waiting on us outside.” ‘ _Ugh this night was just getting good’_ , at least he thought. Izzy was bouncing on her toes, trying to edge Alec to come on. “One second.” He sighed, as he looked at Magnus. “Looks like you gotta go, huh darling.” Alec’s head dropped between the mixture of the alcohol and his own disappointment. “Yeah, I do.” He shrugged, “See ya around maybe..” Though some part Alec doubted he’d be out anytime soon. He hadn’t even noticed that Magnus had written his number on the back on a napkin and stuffed it into his pocket.. Though there was a part of Alec that thought he’d be back here again either way, maybe Izzy was right about rebelling against parental figures.

  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Izzy telling their mother a story she was believing until Alec ends up puking, and Mangus feeling bummed that Alec left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a fanstatic Easter! For those that celebrate!  
> Either way I hope your day is well! And you enjoy this chapter!!

After Alec and Izzy made their way towards the exit of Pandemonium. That was really went his stomach had started to jerk sideways, and do flip flops. Alec understood the urgency to leave the club, because their mother had found out they weren’t home. That was because technical Jace and Izzy were grounded for different reasons, mostly because Izzy had broken curfew with Meliron a few nights ago, and with Jace was because his grades and breaking curfew too. But they had somehow weaseled Alec into coming with them. Mostly because he wanted to make sure they were alright, because he was their brother.

 

Plus, it made sense to him to go along with them.. Because you never know what could happen, and he worried mostly over Izzy more so than Jace. “Alec! Come on!” Jace and Izzy both said impatiently. Jace grabbed Alec’s arm and tossed him in the taxi. Izzy gave the address, and Alec laid back against the seat as he was wedged between them both. “Alright, we need to come up with a story we can make seem believable for mom.” Izzy said, though it would be very tough as their mother was a respected crime lawyer. She saw through most lies easily. “She’d go easier on Alec if she believed he had nothing to do with this..” Which was true, and that was that Jace had said. “Yeah, but Jace look at him..” Izzy poked Alec in the arm.. “Okay, so? He’s always white and pasty looking.” Jace cracked a joke, mostly as it was true. “What about we say he came after us, after he found out that we’d left knowing we were already grounded?” That was Jace’s idea, but then again with who their mother was and the amount of lies that Izzy and Jace told to her. Well it would be easier said than done, if she believed it.

 

“It’s more plausible than anything I can think of at the moment.” Izzy agreed, “Not that Mom would believe he came on his own.” Because this wasn’t something Alec would do, sure Jace and Izzy. Just not Alec, he was a stickler for the rules, and even though he made point to point out Jace and herself were grounded. Alec had agreed to come with them after an hour of begging, which it was mostly Izzy who keep on about it. Saying that he needed to live a little, and maybe she had been right on that.

 

Alec stomach still wasn’t agreeing with him, but now his head as beginning to hurt between Jace and Izzy trying to come up with some plausible excuse. “Alec whatever we come up with just nod your head to it okay?” All he could muster was a thumbs up at this point. The drink that Magnus had given him made him feel all warm and fuzzy when he’d been with him, but now everything seemed rather wobbly while just sitting here between his siblings.

 

Somewhere between the next ten minutes the taxi had stopped, which meant they were home. Jace paid the cabbie as Izzy pulled her older brother from the back of the taxi. “Alec come on, you are totally gonna blow our whole story!!” She grumbled at him. Maybe it wasn’t a smart idea to give her brother straight vodka, but he needed to loosen up. But right now, no and it wasn’t helping. “Jace, help!” She exclaimed, glancing down at her brother who was only half out. It wasn’t like they had know about the two drinks he had with Magnus.

 

“Hey Izzy, if I haven’t told you lately..” Alec giggled, “You’re beautiful! Just so you know.” Izzy looked at Jace like _we’re_ _so busted._ Their plan would not work if Alec was giggling. Alec was someone that was stoic in his expressions. He, also tended to be the brooding time, and keep to himself. “Jaaaace! Buddy!! Help a fellow out.” Alec didn’t care much that they were right outside of their building. They lived in New York, and lived on the upper east side to boot. They lived in a penthouse suite in Manhattan. “We should’ve never drug him along.” Jace growled, “If mom sees through him we are so screwed, and I mean well be grounded still when we go to college.” With a groan helped Izzy steady their brother between them.

 

“Alec, buddy? How much did you have to drink?” Jace asked, knowing one drink would not have this effect on Alec. “Uh, three. I think.” Alec giggled again. “Yeah we’re screwed, he can’t even stand up.” Jace and Izzy both knew that he was a lightweight when it came to anything alcohol. “Let’s just get him inside. Mom’s gonna kill us.” Izzy whined, as she looked at Alec.

 

Alec was leaning against the wall of the elevator, watching the numbers go up and up. When it hit their floor Izzy and Jace were at his side trying to help him stay up right. “Guysss I got thisss.” He started walking forward on his own. “Alec hush!” Izzy and Jace hissed. Alec looked offended as the both had attacked him. “Mom’s up and waiting on us, remember we got found out!” Izzy shook her head at her big brother. Next time, if there would be one. There would be no drinks for Alec, if she could help it.

 

Jace turned the knob to the apartment door, and there Maryse Lightwood stood in all her glory. Her hair still pulled back in a tight ponytail, and in a crisp gray dress. “Well, what do you have say for yourselves?” Eying each one of them, as she asked. “It’s not Alec’s fault.” Izzy started. “He’s the one that came after us, after he came back from Lydia’s and realized we wasn’t here.” She continued to say. “Izzy agreed to go on a date with Raj if he didn’t tell you where we were going.” Jace spoke this time, giving Izzy the look of go with it. They’d been doing with for a while now, and usually if Alec had came along he’d just with it. To try and spare them some of the grounding they’d usually get. Alec was going along with what they were saying right now, just nodding his head. Because that’s what Izzy and Jace told him what to do. “Raj is so not getting _this_ date.” Izzy muttered under her breathe casting a glare at Jace who only shrugged.

 

“Alright, seems plausible enough, off to bed. But don’t think this is the end of this.” Maryse spoke being stern with them. “Yes, mom.” Jace and Izzy echoed, before bidding her a good night. Just as Maryse went to say good night to Alec, his stomach had started churning at the moment. Jace and Izzy were already upstairs, “Alec, what’s wrong?” She questioned before the vomit exploded from his mouth. She saw three different things at the moment, one was the vomit on her Jimmy Choo’s heels, the color red as she yelled for Izzy and Jace to get back down stairs, and her oldest son passed out at her feet.

 

Izzy and Jace both exchanged looks as they saw the sight at the end of the stairs.. “Oh boy..” Izzy groaned and Jace just shook his head. “Well?” Maryse glared at her other children, waiting to hear what the would say. They both looked flabbergasted about why Alec had thrown up, playing innocent at this moment was the best they could muster. “Ohhh, innocent act is it.” She glared at them as she slid from her shoes. “Jace help him to his bed, and Izzy get the trash can for his room and clean him up.” As she went to get some paper towels to clean the vomit up at the bottom of the stairs. “Come on Alec.” Jace whispered to him tossing one of Alec’s arms over his shoulder. “Izzy get his door.” Jace was having enough trouble holding Alec upright. “She has believed our story up until then at least..” Izzy shrugged as she pushed open the door.

 

Alec’s room was hardly anything like Jace’s or Izzy’s room. That was because it was so much neater and orderly. Because Alec wasn’t your typical teenager, their parents wanted Alec to follow in their footsteps. Well their dad wanted Alec to someday take over the business, and/or become a lawyer like Maryse the boy’s mother. No one cared what Alec wanted more than Izzy and Jace, and possibly Lydia. But getting Alec to see that what he wanted was difficult at best. Because he was use to denying himself of things he wanted, their parents hadn’t always been as successful as they were now.

 

“Just put him down on his bed Jace.” Izzy said pointing at the bed. “Oh Alec.” She brushed the fringe from the side of his face. Knowing when she’d come upon Alec and the mysterious stranger that intrigued her brother’s interest. She saw a side of Alec not many ever got to see, which was him actually smiling and blushing. Not many could say they’d done that. She wiped Alec’s mouth also wiped the clamminess from his brow. Izzy looked at Jace, “We have to get him on his side, cause if he’s laying as he is. He could very well drown in his vomit.” That was only should he again vomit.

 

That was before Jace had even touched him to turn him over, Alec bolted up hand over his mouth. She grabbed the trash can as fast as she could shoving it in Jace’s hands. Alec vomited again, and twice more before they could leave his room. By the time they had, he was dry heaving. He had nothing more that he could vomit up. They had turned him on his side, and were hoping that he’d be okay. With a yawn coming from Izzy- she nodded Jace a good night, and Jace said the same.

 

—

 

It had been sometime since Alec had left with his sister, Magnus was taking a guess at that. She had the same cheekbones as Alec, but were not as half as pleasing on eyes as Alec was in his opinion. What had Alec called her? ‘ _Izzy_ .’ Magnus wondered if it was short for Isabella, the same way he was wondering if _Alec_ was for Alexander.

 

Magnus couldn’t get his mind off the tall, dark and hazel eyed boy. Since he’d left Magnus hadn’t felt like being here, no one had the same appeal that Alec had to him. The only reason he was still even here were because of Cat and Ragnor. Those two were enjoying themselves as they hardly ever got to. Usually they were always working and hardly any time for fun. If it wasn’t for Magnus dragging them out, they wouldn’t come. They both were only a couple years older than Magnus, he was only twenty-one. His friends were both about twenty-five or so. Not that he really keep up on their ages, but he never did forget their birthdays.

 

They’d all met in the orphanage that Magnus had been placed in after his father had gone to prison. His mind shuddered at the mere thought of old traumas coming over him, as he thought about his past and how he’d met both of them. After they had aged out of the system, it had been lonely for him. The only thing that keep Magnus going was trying to get emancipated at 16, so he could go live with his best friends. They only people that actually had cared about him.

 

“Earth to Magnus!” It was Cat waving her hand in front of his face. “What?” He said as he came back to reality, which was not as exciting. The boy had left, and all Magnus could hope for was he found his number later that he’d stuck into his pocket. “You’ve barely touched your drink.” Cat pointed out and all he did was shrug. “Is this about the guy I saw you dancing with?” She asked, “Maybe, he had to leave. Seems like him and his siblings got into some trouble.” Magnus spoke twisting his wrist around idly as he spoke to her. “Where’s Ragnor?” Not seeing him anywhere around. “Bathroom.” She rolled her eyes, “He can drink but always has to go.” Mangus chuckled.

 

“So spill!” She beamed at him, wanting to know all about this guy he’d been dancing with. “There isn’t much to tell.” Magnus sighed, besides getting his name there wasn’t much to say. “The only really thing I got was his first name.” He had no way of possibly looking him up on social media, without a last name.. There were about 7 billion people all over the world that could have the name Alec, and about 500 thousand that probably had it here in New York. What was a guy to do, but wait and see if he got a text. “I did slip him my number, but it was as he was leaving with his sister.” Magnus spoke sadly, because who knew if he’d see the hazel eyed Alec again.

 

“Wasn’t he the one that bumped into you as we was leaving the bar while ago?” She asked, and Magnus nodded. “He looked delicious though, Magnus.” Cat smirked, because she knew her best friends type. Tall, dark, and hazel eyes, man or woman. “Look Cat I know I drug Ragnor and yourself out for a fun night.” Since Alec had left he didn’t feel like being at the club anymore. “But since the man left, it isn’t as fun to be here?” She questioned. His best friend understood him all too well. “Yeah, but you all should stay and enjoy yourselves. I’m just goons go home and sleep.” He gave a light smile, but he wasn’t as hype to be here as he was before. “Okay. But call us if you need us.” Magnus agreed, but he wouldn’t need them. He was fine, just bummed and didn’t wanna ruin his friends fun.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that’s it for this one! Leave a comment or leave a kudos either one makes me smile to know that you all are enjoying this story as much as I am writing it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maryse asks Izzy to get Alec up, and then they end up talking about what happened last night at Pandemonium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some brother sisterly relationship!!   
> Sorry for the delay, I’d been trying to figure out how to start this and then my muse struck for the two more recent works I did, soo.. here this is

Just as the few rays of light started trickling into his room, Alec groaned. His head was pounding, and his body ached. Everything seemed so much louder than normal. Alec could hear the normal bustle of people moving around outside in the hall. “Izzy! Get your brother up!” Alec heard their mom call up the stairs. Another groan came as he picked the pillow up from behind his head over his face. There was a knock at the door, “Go Away!” Alec mumbled. He didn’t wanna get up or out of this bed. “Aww, Alec come on. Besides it’s mom.” Izzy pushed her brother’s shoulder. 

Alec lifted the pillow long enough to glare at her, “Don’t care. This is your fault.” He mumbled because he was aware that he was hung over. “I gave you one drink!” She exclaimed, “Iz, do that again and I’ll make sure mom knows about what Meliron and you  _ do. _ ” Alec hissed, as his head throbbed. Knowing that mom didn’t know the type of relationship his sister and Meliron had, plus Meliron was the son of one of their mothers partners. “Just go away, Izzy. Tell mom I’m sick, I don’t care just go away!” He groaned as he tried to sink further into his bed. “Mom already knows.” Izzy rolled her eyes. That got Alec’s attention, it caused him to bolt up. “How?!” As another moan passed his lips as the room spun. 

“Do you remember anything?” She asked him, Alec nodded but some parts were vague compared to others probably. “Well after Jace and I got you up stairs, and quieted you down.” She started with, “Then explained to mom how you only came after us after knowing we were grounded, and she was buying it.” Izzy then sighed dramatically. “You blew it, by puking all over moms Jimmy Choo’s.” Alec groaned as he threw himself back onto the bed. He could vaguely remember mom telling him a good night, or at least something before it happened. “Ugh.. So how much trouble are we in?” Alec asked as he keep his eyes closed, the light hurt his eyes to much to bother opening them. 

“That’s the thing, she still believes that you came after us.” Izzy chuckled, “But as of now Jace and I are both under house arrest until she or dad says otherwise.” It wasn’t like the house arrest had mattered to Jace or her before. “Hey Iz, do you mind shutting the blinds.” Hopeful his sister would, as because his state was her fault anyways. “How mad if Jace?” Hoping that his adoptive brother was anything but mad at him. “You know Jace, he’s a little huffed over the house arrest, and I’m a little ticked at him for suggesting I’d give a date to Raj.” There was a shudder in her voice as she said that, it made Alec chuckle. “Thank you Iz.” As he could now open his eyes. 

“Well you better dish, I wanna know about this mystery man.” Izzy sat down on the bed next to Alec’s long legs. “Who?” Alec asked clearly confused, at least a little. He hated how Izzy was sometimes, the annoying adorable little sister that needed to know everything. “Really? The innocent act, Alec.” She knew that Alec had been drunk, but even if he was  _ that  _ drunk. Izzy didn’t think that Alec would forget this man. Alec grumbled about her being like mom. “I am not mom, take it back.” She growled at him, “No, not while you being as nosy as she can be sometimes!” She pounced on him tickling him, making it hard to breathe, and his head pound more. “O-o-Okay!! Stop Iz!” Alec said between breathes and her adjustments as she tickled him. “I take it  _ back _ .” But really he didn’t.

It was after she stopped, and his breathing even back out. Her eyes on him and batting her eyelashes,  _ say come on! _ There just wasn’t much for him to tell, there just wasn’t. What was he supposed to say? That they ended up making out? Because that didn’t happen, he was too much of a wuss and nervous. “We exchanged names, and we had drinks after dancing.” That was really all. “That can’t be all!” Izzy whined, sorry to say it was. “Well it is.” He sighed in defeat, he hadn’t really moved much. “At least tell me  _ his _ name.” Izzy shoved at his leg. 

“Iz if you don’t stop! I’m gonna kick you off.” Alec warned, it was his bed and  _ his _ business. Alec didn’t have to tell her if he didn’t want too. “Cooome onnn.” She batted her eyes again at him. She wanted to know what happened, and Izzy wasn’t about to let this go. “Fine!” Alec said annoyed by her badgering, and the fact his head was killing him. “His name is Magnus Bane, I think.” The shock on Izzy’s face left him very confused. Was he supposed to know this name, already? “No way!” Still confused, “Yes way.” He nodded, Alec hadn’t been that drunk that he’d mess up the guys name. Plus last night was really the first time Alec acted out on an impulse. 

Thinking maybe the drink Izzy had something to do with it. Then again when Alec bumped into at first it had been before the drink. Everything about last night to Alec seemed really surreal, as he’d only just figured out his sexual orientation. That had only been a year ago, after his parents made him go a date with Lydia. Sure they were close friends and had been since they were little, but Alec didn’t see Lydia like that.. Even told her so, and she’d been the first he told that he might be gay. He thought women were attractive in their own right, but he just wasn’t interested and he never had been. It was Izzy who was shoving her phone in his face, that brought Alec from his thoughts. “ _ THIS _ Magnus Bane?” She asked excitedly. 

“Okay, Iz. I know your excited, but I can’t see that.” Alec sat up on his bed though his head spun. As he took her phone from her to get a better look, besides having it shoved in his face. It was safe to say, Alec didn’t really know what he was looking at. He barely had a presence on any social media, though he had it only because Izzy made him. “Yeah, that’s him.” There could be no denying that smile, as it had beamed at him last night. Or any of those features, that still captivated him just as he was looking at these photos of Magnus on Izzy’s phone. “Why?” Alec was flabbergasted by the excitement that Iz had over this. 

“Because! He’s a upraising fashion model.” Izzy was gushing about fashion again, which all it did was leave Alec confused. Now that Alec thought about it, Magnus was very sharply dressed. That had been another thing that caught Alec’s attention. “He’s modeling right now for Camille Belcourt! She was also the one that found him!” His sister and fashion.. Alec tried to nod along, but he wasn’t understanding any of it. “And to be at Pandemonium last night, wow..” Izzy was just shocked that she didn’t recognize him herself. Especially since her brother had been dancing with him. “Well? What else!?” Iz wanted to know everything!! 

“Iz there isn’t much else to tell, you found us not long after that.” That night had just gotten interesting to, when their mom had to ruin it for him. Mainly because Alec had found someone as captivating as Magnus. Not that his parents knew his orientation, and was planning to keep it that way. “I doubt I’ll see him again, Iz let’s not get our hopes up.” Knowing how strict that their parents were, Iz and Jace were both under house arrest. That meant if the doorman outside say them leave, they’d call their parents. Alec might have been lucky that his parents, always thought he was the golden child that he could do no wrong. That might’ve been the very reason he was still hiding in the closet. His parents weren’t very understanding with many things. 

It was Jace pounding on the door, “Oi! Are you all coming down! Mom won’t let us eat yet without the two of you!” Izzy and Alec rolled their eyes at Jace. Food besides Clary was the only thing he carried about. “We’re coming!” Iz said, “This isn’t the end of this, and you may wanna change..”Iz scrunched up her nose. Alec reeked of the smell of puke and alcohol.. “Right, tell Jace he’s just gonna have to wait five more minutes. As I’m gonna shower.” He laughed as he pushed himself off his bed. The room spun, and his head still hurt like hell. But a shower and food would do him some good.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy! Comment please and leave kudos. Their are the fuel to my soul! And if you have suggestions please don’t hesitate to suggest they may just get used!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus on the way to his apartment after leaving Pandemonium, and Alec finding Magnus’ number.. too bad his phone’s still dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t the best chapter.. as you’ll see sorta that I was over thinking the whole Magnus part.. Sorry!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the two chapters tho!

Once Magnus left the Pandemonium, the air of the night was cool against his skin. He was feeling slightly guilty for leaving, his best friends were still inside having fun. He’d been the one that drug them out on their only days off this week. Magnus hardly got to see them between their jobs and his own. Which was why tonight was suppose to be wonderful for them, but then came in the boy who he’d found himself attracted to. Their first meeting of that night had been more casual, which had been when Alec had bumped into him.. That had been when Cat and him had gotten drinks, for the three of them.

Since Alec had left the club, his mood about being there had changed. Which Cat totally understood, but it didn’t change how he felt about it. Magnus had barely gotten to know him, —well really the only thing he got was his first name. The guy, Alec had been shy. To say the least anyways, and when Alec left he’d stuck his number in his jacket. Wondering how long it would be before Magnus heard from him.. If at all.. All Magnus could do was hope, anyways.

Standing at the edge of the sidewalk, he throw his hand out hailing a taxi. Once one pulled up, he got in giving the address to someplace in Brooklyn. Sure with his up and raising fame, which had came from being found by Camille a few years ago. He still lived with his two best friends, he didn’t mind his address as much as his boss did. All he cared about was being with his two best friends, who were more than that they were his family.

While in the back of the taxi, he’d gotten a text from Camille saying they needed him earlier for the shoot.. Which as late was it already was, he was gonna have circles under his eyes by ten in the morning. Magnus sent a reply back, saying okay and he’d be there. Once he’d done it Magnus tucked the phone back into his pocket, and went about staring out the window. Just watching the lights of New York as the went past. _The city that never sleeps_ , Magnus chuckled as he thought it. It was always lively, something was always happening. Which was why Magnus had always been drawn too. There was just something about it all that he loved, but something he’d never been able to place.

Though before Magnus realized, he was parked outside of their apartment. Though Magnus was the first to arrive home, and seeing how he had an early day tomorrow. Just made the idea of coming home sooner better, he guessed anyways. “Here ya go.” He paid for the ride and gave a generous tip.

Once again standing out in the night air, it was refreshing. It helped cleared his mind, as it was full of the boy Alec and now with the anticipation of tomorrow’s job. “Well might as well go up.” He muttered mostly to himself, plus he had to be up early. As he walked towards the door to the building, Magnus looked at his phone to see if he had any unknown texts. He was anxiously waiting to here from Alec.. You could say he was being a little impatient about it.

It was once inside of Cat, Ragnor and his apartment, tossing his keys to the side of the table next to the door. Magnus roamed the apartment before he ended in the kitchen getting a bottle of water from the fridge. Once again he checked his phone before he pushed the door open to his room. Magnus wasn’t tired, he was impatient.. Though he didn’t figure to hear from Alec tonight at least.. Magnus chuckled at himself, it wasn’t like him to be this affected by someone he’d just met.. But all he could think about was how beautiful Alec was, he tossed himself onto his bed..

Not that he was tired, and opening at least Facebook. He was bound to find someone named Alec.. He just didn’t have an idea as to how many there actually was in New York alone..

—

Pretty much dressed as he’d been the night before, which was in his jean jacket, dark blue shirt and dark washed jeans. It was mainly the outfit that Izzy had made him wear, because if he could quote her. He’d be an embarrassment if he wore anything he’d normally did. Though he didn’t see how, which that normally was just a tee-shirt and jeans.. Which he thought was perfectly fine for going to a club. Checking the pockets to the jacket, his hand roamed over what felt like a napkin.. It was from Pandemonium, and it had numbers on it.. There was a flush on his cheeks, and his heart was racing..

_212-209-4910_

_Magnus ;)_

That was what was wrote on it. There was this excitement that was exploding inside of him. Alec had to calm himself down.. “Cold shower..” he muttered.. Digging into his other pocket looking for his phone, now he remembered his phone was dead.. “ _Ugh!!”_ Alec groaned loudly, he wrapped the number around his phone. There was a pound on the door, “Hurry up man I wanna eat!” With a roll of his eyes at Jace’s dramatics. “Yeah okay!” He hollered back. Luckily enough it was a Sunday morning, he had time.. His mind was just screaming, wondering when Magnus had slipped the number on him. He knew he wasn’t that drunk, at least he didn’t think so anyways. Hopping in the shower so he could eat as well, as he heard and felt his stomach grumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments fuel the soul, and kudos make me swoon! Feel free to leave suggestions too!! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Oi! I also have
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)
> 
>  
> 
> Come follow me <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec trying to do his homework and failing, due to who—well Magnus Bane. Stalking him on social media. While failing to do his homework Izzy comes and asks to borrow his phone, as hers had just gotten taken away. But while Iz is using Alec’s little did Alec know the mischief his sister had done, besides texting Simon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So by now you’ve realized it a slow burning relationship. Sorry. If there’s any mistakes or whatnot sorry don’t have a beta. 
> 
> I have [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) follow me, give me short prompts and I’ll try see what I can whip up be it for this story or just a random one shot type deal!

It was now Tuesday evening, three days since Saturday.. Alec was currently in his room, unable to focus on his AP chemistry homework. It had been three days since he’d met Magnus, and Alec was currently staring at his phone. Which he was _stalking_ Magnus Bane, to say the least. At least he was staring and saving nearly every photo that Magnus had posted on his Instagram in the last three days.. _‘Loser..’_ Alec bitterly thought of himself, knowing that he truly was. Magnus had given him his number and Alec was a huge wimp.

It was in the last three days, that Alec had started and stopped numerous amounts of times, to send Magnus a message.. They all sounded corny and awkward, which was a given since Alec was very socially awkward, maybe not so corny but he felt that the messages had been.. Or well of the ones he’d started; which some were like;

_Hey, uh Magnus this uh Alec from the other night.._

Or

_Hello? Hopefully this is Magnus Bane’s phone… cause this is uh Alec if you remember_

Most of the messages had started out like that. It wasn’t that Alec didn’t feel confident enough. It was because he didn’t know _how,_ to even begin talking to someone.. Especially someone as hot as he knew Magnus was.. Since Izzy had shoved her phone in his face Sunday morning, after telling her what Magnus’ name was, or how she called Magnus _his_ mystery man. The thought of it, made his eyes roll.

There was a knock at the door, which caused Alec to jump. Because instead of doing his homework, he was spinning around in his desk chair looking at pictures of Magnus Bane. Instead of focusing on his AP homework. He let out a nervous laugh as he tossed down his phone as he asked who it was? “It’s Izzy, can I come in?” Surprised that Izzy asked instead of just baring into his room, like she normally would. Something was up, and he knew it. “Sure..” He stammered but had been able to play it off as he cleared his throat. “What is it?” Alec asked as she sat down on his bed. Okay, now Alec knew something was up. It wasn’t like Izzy to act this out of character. Something happened, “Well?” He spoke feeling kinda impatient as he wanted to go back to staring at Magnus.

“Can I borrow your phone?” She asked suddenly. “Oookay, why?” Alec looked rather confused as to why she needed his phone. “Because mom took mine.” She grumbled as an eyebrow rose on Alec’s face. “Again, I say why?” It was his phone, and his privacy that he wanted to keep protected from his snoopy little sister. It wasn’t the first time that she’d done this, but he could see that she was defeated. “I promise no snooping, I just want to text Simon, so he knows now to worry.” Again, it seemed fishy to him, but Alec usually gave her the benefit of the doubt.

“Okay, but just to text Simon.” Alec wondered how Izzy had lost her phone privileges. But knowing her, Alec figured she picked a fight with mom over the house arrest, and ended up losing her phone, _again._ Like he’d thought before this hadn’t been the only time Iz had asked, but she usually ended up snooping around his phone. Alec picked up his phone, and opened the phone before he handed it to her. Alec had closed out of all the apps that he’d had open. Hoping that Izzy wouldn’t go on them, a ping of a blush was lingering on his face. Seriously hoping she’d only text Simon. “Okay here.” Alec handed her phone apprehensively. “Thanks Alec.” She bowed her head kind of sad. This wasn’t like Iz to be like this. Something must’ve happened, but unless Iz wanted to talk about it. Alec couldn’t make her.

Sadly, Alec didn’t realize he hadn’t deleted the most recent draft of a message he’d start to send Magnus. While Iz had his phone, she peered over it looking at Alec who now had his back turned to her. She could see he was trying to focus on his homework, but could also see something was holding him back a little.. Izzy had noticed something off about her brother since his shower Sunday morning. Though she hadn’t said anything, well she wanted to say something now.. Though now Iz was holding herself back still about it.

Her eyes rolled over the message that her brother drafted. She knew how awkward Alec was, he was special. He had no actual self-confident in himself, when it came to dating or talking to people that he wasn’t already close with. Alec didn’t care much for going outside his comfort zone. To see Alec trying was so adorable to her, she’d let out an aww sound. Luckily it hadn’t been loud enough for Alec to her.. She wanted to help her brother, but she also needed to text Simon.. Simon could wait a few more moments, Alec’s love life—well there was none at least right _now_. But after she jazzed up his message a little, she thought maybe it would change.

Alec, original messaged had started out more like so;

_Hi, Magnus. This is Alec from the other night.._

Which this message had been sitting there just waiting on someone to hit send.. Izzy knew that her brother was a coward. So to jazz it up; Izzy changed Alec to Alexander.. Not that Izzy didn’t know how Alec had introduced himself as.

Izzy had erased the whole message and started over. _‘Okay Alec, you’re so gonna kill me and thank me.’_ She grinned as she began tying her version of this text.

_Hello there, Magnus? I hope so. This is Alexander from the other night at Pandemonium._

Izzy grinned as she hit send, _‘oh boy.”_ Knowing her big brother would kill her later, once he found out she did this. After that Iz sent Simon a message,

_Hey Simon, it’s Iz I’m on Alec phone cause my mom took mine. She won’t see reason and let me come to your show.. Sorry! Maybe next one after I’m ungrounded or at least off house arrest._

“Thank Alec.” She smiled, Alec wanted to question what happened. Before he could answer her she’d already closed the door. Alec heard his phone buzz, but figured it was Simon replaying back. He’d turned back to his homework, since he’d been able to focus on it. Little did _he_ know what Izzy had done, cause the first text message Alec’s phone had got was one from Magnus back. Though Alec, _didn’t_ know, but had conutined doing his homework.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks for reading! Leave me a comment and/or kudos or both! They are my fuel ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Text between our boys begin. Alec recites poetry?! Will Magnus be swept off his feet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay random turns and sways! Sorry! It was just the first idea that jumped out at me.. everyone need a release! Poetry just happens to be Alec’s? XD
> 
> Anyways if you didn’t know by now, I have [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)

It was a spring evening in Central Park, where Magnus was starting to get annoyed with the photographer of this shoot. All he wanted was to go home, he’d done at least ten photo shoots for Camille in the last week. Some weren’t even for her line, but for fashion designers. Camille wasn’t only a designer, she was an agent. Who was Magnus’ and many others. He was just tired, it had been a long day. Hell for Magnus it had been a long three days, especially since he wasn’t supposed to have worked Sunday. But he did as because Camille had a model that had fallen through.

It was now Tuesday, and three days. THREE DAYS! Three days since Saturday evening, since he’d given the young man his number.. Sure Alec didn’t know that Magnus slipped it into just jacket pocket. It was just slowly driving him crazy that he hadn’t heard from him. It made Magnus wonder if Alec wasn’t exactly interested in him. Plus it was also a wonder of how much Alec had gotten into trouble with his mom.. Not that he knew much about why he’d be. “Break over!” Magnus heard the the annoying photographer say. That meant he had to put his phone down and get back to whatever obnoxious thing this man wanted. Magnus was just over with today, but while he was over getting his photo taken in awkward and annoying poses. His phone buzzed, which it was on silent while he was on a set.

_212-223-7442_

_Hello there, Magnus? I hope so. This is Alexander from the other night at Pandemonium._

_‘Finally!”_ The thought came with a groan as he stretched his back. He was ready to leave, and finally it was the end of this shoot. He didn’t have another until tomorrow, Camille had him book solid for at least the next week. It was then that Magnus picked up his phone, looking over the screen.. His eyes stopped on a number he hadn’t seen before. It felt like all the air in his lungs had been pushed out.. Alexander.. Alec had texted him.. There was something about reading that message that changed his mood.

_Oooh Alexander? Eh? Short for Alec? Hmm yes it’s Magnus Bane. ;)_

His mood had definitely perked up as he was walking towards the subway.

It had been about two hours since Iz had left his room. Alec knew their mom was already home, because she’d taken Iz’s phone from her. Alec wondered what they were having for dinner, but after doing all of his homework.. Alec’s head hurt, because he had to force himself to focus.. Alec had trouble focusing on it earlier as he’d been stalking Magnus on his Instagram. Though since Iz had asked to use his phone, it had been on his bed since Iz had left..

Though now he had nothing holding him back to again now look at his phone.. Why was he anxious to look at his own phone? Why was there any sense of dread, it was his phone. Just something in his gut was telling him Iz had done something, but he didn’t know what it was.. Which was what was making him anxious. Having stood and stretched his back after being hunched over his desk, doing his AP Chemistry and his AP Math. Alec had also heard his phone go off a few times since his phone and pinged saying he had a text message. One of the sounds had been from an alert from Magnus’ twitter, since Alec had made where he’d get all the messages that Magnus posted.. Alec knew how much of a loser he was about it..

Alec picked up his phone, and as he did. It lit up, like it normally would.. Besides seeing that Magnus had finished his shoot at Central Park, a park that Alec loved to visit especially when things were tough on his mind.. As Alec scrolled he saw two text messages one from a number he figured was Simon. But as he looked and eyes hit the M that Alec had marked Magnus by in his phone. Inwardly Alec was freaking out, did he since Magnus a message and not remember?!?!

His heart was beating a thousand miles a minute, when he looked better at the time of when the first message was sent.. Alec’s heart was still racing, but a flood of anger washed over him. Because Alec knew it wasn’t him that sent Magnus the message, but his sister. _‘Okay, just calm down.’_ Alec told himself, as he looked over the message Izzy had sent.. She had always told him he overthought things a little too much sometimes.. He would have words with Isabelle, but it had been two hours since Magnus had replied.. What was he supposed to say!? There was his problem, overthinking.. Just ask he was thinking of a reply, Lydia had sent him a text.

_Lydia_

_Oi! Lightwood! Where are you?_

Alec was confused, what did she mean.. Then it hit him, Alec was suppose to meet her like an hour ago.. “Crap!” It was Tuesday evening and while no one knew that Alec preformed poetry.. On Tuesday evenings at a less than local cafe.. He hadn’t written anything for it.. Isabelle would get what was coming to her later, but between the freak out of this and Magnus texting him back.. What do you say to someone you was majorly crushing on..

_Lydia, I’m SO Sorry I got lost doing my homework. I’m coming!_

Panic was causing his mind to race around, before he know it.. His fingers were typing to Magnus.

_Yeah, Alec is short for Alexander.. but hi.._

It was a rather weak message back to Magnus, but he didn’t know what more to say. His checks were blazing, as he rushed down the stairs. “Bye! Meeting with Lydia!!” He grabbed a jacket as he rushed out the door.

With as tiresome as the last few days had been for Magnus. Instead of going straight to the subway to head home. He stopped at this cafe, he needed some coffee. It seemed to be poetry night, or something. It had kind of intrigued Magnus, he saw some of the nervous and shifty eyes as some stood there. The place had a lot of character about it, and wondered why he hadn’t stopped before.. Probably because it hadn’t crossed his mind, but just as he had gotten his coffee. A jingle played from his phone, he’d turned his phone off being silent. It wasn’t like he was on a set, so it wasn’t going to bother too many.

_Alexander❤️_

_Yeah, Alec is short for Alexander.. but hi.._

Magnus had marked Alec’s name with a heart.. The cute little message Magnus had just gotten had made his heart beginning to beat. Alexander seemed like he was sort of shy, especially in their last meeting. Magnus had been able to notice how easily nervous he was.. Hell, Alec had gulped down a martini rather quickly.. Plus, Alec had stared at him more than he actually talked..

Maybe texting would be easier? At least that was what Magnus was hoping. Though it had taken Alec _three_ days to even message him.

_Well Alexander, I hope you don’t mind me using your full name. ;) how are you?_

Magnus had sent back after having picked a table to sit at. What he hadn’t expected was as he was sipping his coffee, was the sight he saw coming down the sidewalk outside.. It was Alec, his heart sped up. It was pounding in his chest.. It wasn't like this normally for Magnus, it usually was easier. It wasn’t as if Alec knew that he was here or anything. It was a poetry night in the cafè, it peaked Magnus’ interest in wonder if Alec spoke it.. Wondering if this was actual fate, that he choose against going on home..

Instead of choosing to go up to him, he stayed where he was.. He’d wait before walking up to him.. This wasn’t Pandemonium, it was a cafè and no club music to entice him with this time.. But wow, was Alec gorgeous.. It wasn’t that Magnus hadn’t thought before, but the cafe had much better lighting than what the club had.. He was a tall glass of dark, tall and handsome for himself.. Just his type as Cat had told him, it wasn’t that he hadn’t believed his best friend.. It was just how lucky could Magnus get..

As Magnus watched Alec from where he was over his cup. Magnus watched Alec interact with a young woman, who could’ve been around his age, but maybe older. It wasn’t as if Magnus could really hear the conversation, he was too far away.

“Lydia, I’m sorry!” Lydia rolled her eyes at her best friend. “It’s your turn! Just so you know.” She grinned pushing Alec towards the stage.. A low groan was in the back of his throat.. He had nothing prepared! The last three days had been a storm for him, you could say. The last two Alec had started at a stunning man through his phone, saved pictures of this person.. Even with all the while he had his number to text, but it was his sister that ended up texting him—for him. Thing was this was one place that Alec didn’t have to really hide who he was, no one judged him. No one saw the perfect son, that he had to be. He was just another person there..

Alec was standing on the little stage that the cafe had, which the cafe was called Shade. Before he cleared his throat and leaned closer to the mic, he saw that Magnus had texted him again.

_M:_

_Well Alexander, I hope you don’t mind me using your full name. ;) how are you?_

Was what the message said. Alec could feel his heart begin to race fast, _again._ Normally Alec didn’t like anyone using his full name, but when Magnus even texted it.. It was different from anyone else. His parents only used it to scold him, but it wasn’t like that was often. Alec was far to perfect for them to scold often, at least in their eyes they saw him as perfect.

_Uh, Good, I guess. What about you, how are you?_

Alec fumbled as he nearly dropped his phone, because after he sent the text. Alec had to find a piece of his he’d written, but he hadn’t prepared anything, though he knew he was suppose to be here tonight. A groan came from his lips, but after that he seemed to find something. “Ah, Hello again!” Alec had cleared his throat over the mic. Magnus’ eyes hadn’t left him since Alec had walked in, not that Alec knew that. “So, here I go..” He chuckled nervously, and heard Lydia wooot him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the comments and kudos everyone gives! Feel free to leave them because I adore them! Hope you enjoyed, until the next time ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec recites a poem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are triggers in this I tagged, I mean it’s mere mentions.. but still you never know. Ahh, anyways this was very intense write of sorts.. 
> 
> If you haven’t come follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)

While Magnus was sitting away from the stage, he had sat up a bit when he saw Alec standing up there. He watched as Alec leaned forward and clear his throat.. Magnus also saw him looking at his phone, that was also when his had gone off as well. Magnus bit his lip, as he placed the cup downs he picked up his phone to look at it.

_ Alexander _ ❤️:

_Uh, Good, I guess. What about you, how are you?_

Magnus was wonderful, actually. Because he was fate had been unexpected to bring him here tonight. Sometimes fate could be...Interesting.. Tonight was exactly that. Magnus would’ve never pegged Alec to be someone into poetry. Then again Magnus didn’t know much, or actually anything about Alexander besides his first name. 

_ Actually, my day started off pretty Ugh, but your text changed it. so thank you ;) _

Magnus figured it would be okay to text Alec, but he didn’t expect a response from him at the moment. That was because Alec had began to recite something.. Despite looking as nervous as he did. Magnus sat his phone back down, he wanted to have his attention on Alec, not his phone.

Alec’s mind was racing, still looking through his google documents. It was here he keep most of his poetry, besides his private notebook. Though his siblings knew of his private journal, and had been through it a time or two. It had been mostly Izzy that had gone through it, and was actually how she found out he was gay.. Not that Alec and her talked about it, but Alec knew that she was supportive. “Seriously this time..” He chuckled into the mic. He wasn’t prepared like he’d been before on other nights when he’d come with Lydia. Shade was a place that Alec didn’t have to hide. 

Alec took another deep breath, and opened his eyes. They scanned over the room, before he choose to focus on his friend Lydia for at least the time being. She was the person he was the most comfortable with in the whole place. “Fate is cruel.” The first words spilling from his mouth, because in his position with his parents and how they were. Being gay, was a cruel trick of fate for him. They wanted their son perfect. Alec could only try to be, he followed their every rule. Listened to every lecture, and anytime his parents talked about the LBGT community and how they disapproved. It made him physically sick, sometimes. Because if they knew.. Oh if they knew..

“It toys with you..” This line meant a lot more, given certain things that had happened recently. It talked more about Magnus, for him. Because before meeting Magnus, there hadn’t been anyone that sparked an interest in. Sure there were cute boys at school, but none that he had actually ever wanted.. Though that line had more heavier meanings for Alec, it was when it combined with more of the rest, “Your heart, your soul, your mind.” Speaking of the connections he felt between his whole body. Sometimes it was like they betrayed him. Sometimes Alec got mad at himself because of how he left. Because of how he had to listen to his parents be so..so.. Disgruntled about the LBGT. Just because they both had a heavily background in being Catholic. Even Alec knew things were slowly changing with some Catholics, but his parents were very old fashioned. 

They even made their children attend Catholic schools. “From the past, to here in the present, and with fiber of your future.” His breath hitched over some of the words. It had been at another party that Alec had been drug too, that had confirmed it for Alec. That Alec was gay, his throat tighten even thinking about that night. He was seventeen right now, ah. It had been when he was fifteen, and Izzy was thirteen and Jace was fifteen too. She’d drug them to a party, because somehow Izzy knew all the parties that went down. Alec never asked how she did, but somehow they were always invited. There had been a couple at the party that Alec hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away from.. They’d been making out for what Alec thought was hours.. The reason that confirmed it for him, was he had ended up with a boner just watching them.. It was rather embarrassing for him to think about, yet here he was thinking about it on this stage. 

“You could choose to deny,” Alec had spent a year trying to deny how he felt.. That was also when his depression got really bad.. Another reason, Alec tried to be perfect, but wasn’t. He had his parents to always to please. His depression had caused worries for everyone, Alec hadn’t told him what the cause was.. He’d been so tired of being numb to everything.. If you ever had a chance to look at Alec’s arms, you would understand. “Though trying only damages,” Damage was what he caused himself, yes his parents paid for the best psychologist they could find to help him. This was also the time that Alec took to journaling and writing.. Instead of the self-harm, that he’d caused himself.

“Left to fight it, only because,” His heart was pounding because he was tearing band-aids off wounds he thought were fine.. But something told him, it was ah different. Everything felt exposed. “It went against everything..” Back to speaking about religion.. His heart was always a tangled mess because of it.. “You was taught.” Because being how he was. Who he was, he worried when he would come out.. He knew he wouldn’t be the perfect son any longer. Which was also why he was hiding in the closet as he was.

“Though there’s a moment,” Ah, the moment he spoke of was three nights ago. It was when his arm had brushed with Magnus’. It was when Izzy spent two minutes trying to get his attention after Magnus had walked away. Just something in that moment changed him.. There wasn’t away to describe it, no real words.. At least there were none Alec could come up with.. Maybe peace, there had just been something about Magnus that gave him peace.. Though trying to talk to him, made him nervous. “ Yes a moment, that makes you realize,” Just a moment, that made him feel totally different about himself.. “That fate might not be as cruel as you think.” His voice hitched as his eyes moved across the room. It was like a magnet was over on the far side of the room. 

Alec gasped like all the air had just came out of his lungs. His eyes knew that hair, mainly because Alec had stared at it for the last three days.. There were enough photos saved to his phone, of this perfect man. To know that over there whose eyes were now locked with his, was Magnus.. “ _Ah_ ,” The sounds of snaps filled the room, but he didn’t care about that.. Frozen on the stage, because his eyes were on Magnus.. Whose gave him a finger wave, which that was it for Alec.. It caused his heart to stop, or skip a beat. His head was spinning, Magnus just heard a piece of his poetry.. One that left him feeling rather vulnerable. “Thank you.” Alec bowed, his best friend right there next to the stage now, who looked worried. “Alec?” His brain heard her, but his feet had other plans.

“We meet again, darling.” Magnus spoke to the boy standing in front of his table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave me comments! Or kudos. They fuel me. <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec faints? Though ends up asking Magnus if he sparkles often.. like whaaa. Mangus just finds Alec adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so happy that everyone is enjoying the story, it makes my little heart very happy! 
> 
> If you have tumblr, you should come follow me, >>>> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)

Alec’s head was spinning, almost as bad as it had been after his dance with Magnus at Pandemonium. It was like all the air in his lungs had been sucked out. Why was Magnus here? Alec knew that Central Park wasn’t far from here, but still why was Magnus here? His head was ringing, every piece of his body was ringing. Really hoping that fate wasn’t being cruel to him.. His heart was pounding in his chest. “Why? How long?” His head was spinning with questions and his knees were feeling rather wobbly. Also feeling kind of guilty for leaving Lydia hanging as he had. Alec just couldn’t believe, that Magnus was right before him.. Some part of him thought that Saturday night had been a dream. That he didn’t actually meet this  _ beautiful _ person, because there was no way he’d gotten that lucky.. 

“Are you asking how long I’ve been here? Darling.” Alec heard his ears ringing, with the question and nodded. Though somewhere in the middle of that, he was thinking this was a dream. “Someone pinch  _ me.”  _ Alec muttered lowly, because there was no way that this was  _ his _ reality at the moment. There was no away that Magnus Bane was in Shade, there was no way that he heard that piece he wrote, mostly off the top of his head.. It just was, Alec wasn’t this lucky. “Well, I’ve been here at least forty or so minutes.” Okay, that meant to Alec that he’d been here the whole time.. 

“Alexander?” Magnus had answered the boys question. Though after he had the boy seemed to have lost nearly all the color from his face.. Watching as Alec swayed, “Alec!” Magnus jump up barely catching him in his arm. Magnus had never made a person faint before, so this was new.. Watching the features on this gorgeous young man, not that he wasn’t well gorgeous too. But you know. It was the first time Magnus had actually got an up close detail look of him. “Alexander?” Magnus patted his cheek, as he did. There was now a girl standing next to them both. 

She with blonde hair pulled back tightly, almost dressed completely professional. “Is he okay?” She asked softly. Even Magnus wasn’t sure if Alexander was okay. “Uh, I think so.” Magnus had no clue. Magnus was just as lost as Alec’s friend, “You’re Magnus!” That had caused him to chuckle. “Yes, if you want an autograph my hands are kind of full with your friend.” He looked up as Alec moved.  _ ‘Thank god.’  _ Magnus breathed a sigh of relief. Alexander was waking up, as his eye blinked looking around. 

Alec saw Lydia, that was the first person he saw, “Lyds?” Then who was holding him, his heart began to thump again. “Hello again, Alexander.” Alec’s breathe hitched in his chest as his eyes laid on Magnus’ face. This couldn’t be real! This had to be a dream. Muttering something about being pinched again, that was when Lydia took a piece of Alexander’s flesh and twisted it. “It’s not a dream, you dolt.” That’s when Alec bolted up, his head was spinning. How was this not a dream, because there was no way Magnus was here..  _ No way _ ! His mind screamed as he rubbed his arm where Lydia had pinched him. “Let’s get you up into a chair darling.” Magnus said and Alec nodded in agreement. 

“It’s good to see you again, Alexander.” Magnus winked at him. It caused his heart to skip a beat, as Alec smiled shyly. Alec thought so as well, that it was good to see him again. This time Alec wasn’t under the influence of alcohol, but silently wishing he was. This was the closest the two of them had been to one another, much like the night at Pandemonium. Alec couldn’t exactly remember if his heart had been pounding like it was right now three days ago..There was one thing right now that Alec knew he was extremely nervous, his eyes shifted looking for what happened to Lydia. With a groan he saw her at the counter. Lydia was such a mother hen, much more than his mother. “That poem was really good,” Did his heart just stop? Magnus had complimented his poem, a dark blush creep onto his cheeks. “It seemed rather personal.” A choked laugh escaped his lips as he looked up from his hands at Magnus. There had been a lot of personal meanings in that, yes.

“Knowing you, you haven’t ate since school.” Lydia had placed the muffin down in front of him with a latte. Both were his favorite in this place, “You didn’t have to do that Lydia.” Alec mumbled weakly, “Yes, I did, if I didn’t then who.” She badgered her friend and a soft chuckle from across the table caused her eyes to flicker on Magnus. “Because certainly not you.” Alec groaned as he was being scolded by his best friend. “Now, it was very nice meeting you, Magnus. Though someone here certainly thought you was mostly a dream.” This certainly wasn’t funny for him as he groaned sinking back into the chair tearing little bites off of the chocolate chip muffin. “You call me later!” As Lydia smacked the back of his head. 

“I like her!” Magnus announced watching Lydia walk away from them. “I know I’m dreamy, but I’m most certainly real.” Magnus chuckled as he watched Alec across the table, who was rather flushed. 

Alec had gone to open his mouth to say something, but really it just looked like he was gaping like a fish who needed air. If Izzy could only see him, she’d be doubled over laughing, and Jace right along with her. Instead of actually talking to Magnus, he was sitting there staring at him, and tearing the muffin Lydia had bought him to bits—instead of eating it like he should’ve been. Alec was having a hard time believing this situation he was in at the moment was actually real. Even if Lydia had pinched him. 

“You’re adorable.” When Magnus had said that, it only caused him to blush harder. (Picture Magnus with his chin in hand, looking at Alec right here) How did you talk to someone that was.. Well, basically perfect. That made the air escape from your lungs, and feel like you couldn’t breathe again. It hurt, but it hurt in such a good way. “You know instead of tearing it to shreds, maybe you should eat it.” Magnus said, looking at the pile that was not much of a muffin left. Alec looked down at the mound of bread, “Right, uh do you uh want some too?” Alec asked sort of tripping over the words, and there was no denying how bashful he was. 

Alec wasn’t someone that knew how to hold a conversation, basically because he hardly wanted to hold one with anyone. It wasn’t that Alec thought he was better than anyone, it was just too much for him to talk sometimes. Alec shifted in his seat as Magnus stared at him too. It made him self-conscious. Alec was nowhere near what Alec thought Magnus was, so Alec didn’t really see why Magnus was attracted to him. “It’s their best one, I think..” Alec shifted his eyes away from Magnus to what was once a muffin. “Why not.” Magnus pinched up some of the muffin that hadn’t been ripped to shreds by Alec. 

Magnus  _ moaned. “ _ That’s so good.” Alec blushed, and had felt a rush of blood go straight for his southern area. Alec put that to memory, mainly just because. That was there was no telling where this would even go.. Alec didn’t know Magnus, and feared that Magnus  _ may  _ get bored of him. There was no telling, what this could even be.. It made his heart skip and beat faster, just thinking about it. 

Talking wasn’t his strong suit, that was both Izzy and Jace. They had the charisma, while he had the brain, you could say. Because neither of them were very smart sometimes. “So, tell me something about you.” Magnus asked stealing another bite of the muffin. That question sort of floored him.. What was there that Alec could tell Magnus, he was as ordinary as they come. Then it hit him stupidly, “Uh I like poetry.” ‘ _ Well, no duh, Alec.’ _ He thought after he had thought it.. There was a rather rich laugh that came from the other side of the table. Alec was amazed by Magnus, he was different, almost magical. Especially with all the glitter that he seemed to be wearing. When Magnus moved the light caught it, and it wasn’t blinding. It had already stopped Alec’s heart a time or two. “So, do you sparkle often?” Alec mused, trying to be bolder than what he’d been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we all know Magnus sparkles often because of all the glitter! But what’s more glittery than commenting or leaving a kudos. They fuel my glitterly Magnus loving heart, well it’s not just Magnus it’s Malec <3\. 
> 
> Til next time


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Embarrassed Alec? Who knew.. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, ahh I don’t know what to say here.. 
> 
> Besides Maybe.. come follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)

_ ‘What.. like seriously Alec, what did you just say?!’  _ His inner dialogue was now screaming at himself. Like what, had he just said! ‘ _ Oh lord’  _ Alec thought as he groaned out of his own embarrassment. But seriously. In all seriousness, did he actual just ask that! It was, no it had to be one of the most corniest things that had to ever be said. In his opinion. Why had he said that, like seriously  _ why!?  _ His face was most certainly burning the deepest shade of red that it could possibly even get. “Oh my god..” He muttered very lowly to himself, looking at was once a muffin. He grabbed a huge chunk and shoved it in his mouth. That was it, he needed someone to filter for him.. Alec needed something, inside his head or a friend by his side at all times.. So he could stop embarrassing himself, like he just had. 

_ ‘So, do you sparkle often?’  _ Inside of his own head, as he said it again. That, just that, why did he say that! Alec could not focus, and while he wasn’t focusing on Magnus.. Not realizing that Magnus was laughing about the question. “Oh, Alexander you don’t cease to surprised me.” Alec head had popped up, while he was feeling sorry for himself because of the question. Magnus had found it funny? Even though it had to be very corny. Alec knew that he was awkward, like unbelievably so. Social situations where his enemy, number one. This was a social situation, one he didn’t have any experience in. Especially trying to, Well you guessed right—flirt. That very—and Alec thought  _ very _ awkward and corny question. Was and had been his basically  _ first _ attempt at flirting. 

Magnus ignored the question for the moment, “So, you like poetry.” He said slowly. Magnus couldn’t weave something like Alec had, there was no way. “What you recited was, amazing.” It was the simple truth, Magnus didn’t know how to do  _ that _ . Magnus, he knew that he could charm a crowd, yes. He knew that he could stand their and pose in whatever way, that was need and smize without trying. “Oh, I happen to enjoy sparkling.” Magnus winked at Alec..

That had sent Alec’s heart into a pounding mess. It was that Magnus answered his question, and winked at him. Magnus was and had been actively flirting with him, and while Alec keep tripping.. Magnus found it endearing, mainly because Alec was adorable. So much that Magnus wanted to reach across the table and pinch Alec’s cheeks. Which were a very bright red, which made it even more adorable that he had such an effect on Alec. 

A silence woke across the table, both were quiet. It just was that Alec didn’t know what to say. Mainly because he was afraid that he’d again embarrass himself in front of Magnus, again. 

Alec thudded his fingers against the cup, as he was sipping on what little was left of the latte that Lydia had gotten him. This whole evening felt like a dream to him, actually. No matter that he had the bruise forming to say otherwise from Lydia. It was just so unbelievable for him, to be sitting here—with Magnus across from him. Like so, who was scrolling through his phone in their silence. Though Ale didn’t know that Magnus had snapped a shot of him, or several in fact.. 

Well that was until his phone buzzed, Alec had sat down the cup—which was now empty. There was an notification from Instagram. Their silence had drove them to their phones, well maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Because the notification was from Magnus’ Instagram. Alec heart began pounding, as he opened up and scrolled to the newest post. It had caused him to gasp, which had caused Alec eyes to glance up at Magnus. Who was smirking so damn devilishly. The man across from Alec had taken a picture of him, and posted it to his Instagram. His thoughts had jumped to Izzy, and waiting for his phone to blow up. It had taken him a second to even remember that Iz had gotten her phone taken away. 

Alec glanced back down at the photo, he looked okay. Though that was his opinion Alec wasn’t someone that enjoyed having his photo taken, expected or unexpectedly. It had made Alec shift in his seat, and groan, as he thought of when Izzy saw this when she got her phone back.. “So you have instagram?” Magnus questioned, and Alec nodded, “And you follow me?” Again Alec nodded as he couldn’t trust his voice at the moment. Alec hadn’t really looked at the caption until then of the photo Magnus took. Though looking now,  _ Adorable boy,  _ it read, before the words came out of his mouth, “As does my sister.” Again he was gobsmacked he said anything. Nothing that had been said in this evening seemed to be going in a non embarrassment causing for Alec. 

There were so many insert foot here, and Alec had. “Let’s see if I can figure who you are on it..” Magnus had said, and luckily Alec hadn’t changed his name from the username.. So, maybe it make it a little more challenging for Magnus. Though, Alec couldn’t remember if he had ever told Magnus his last name.. Which hopefully…—as Alec got another notification, this one was from a request to follow. “How?” Half expecting Magnus to ask him what his user was. “Don’t know, seemed right.” Magnus answered with a shrug, as he tried to play it off. It wasn’t as easy as Magnus had made it out to be. 

He had so many followers,  _ so many _ . When Magnus was scrolling through his 10k followers.. There had just been one that liked a photo, he just posted. Which was Alec liking his own photo? Or was it the fact that his photo was in Magnus’ account. Mentally shrugging to him, as he noticed the pretty little blush Alec was once again sporting. 

Again Magnus was on his phone, holding it as he was gonna take his photo,  _ again.  _ “Uh, no.” Holding his hand to cover Magnus’ camera, “Oh come on  _ Alexander _ ..” Alec never thought he’d enjoy hearing his full name on someone’s lips. Not like the way he did was Magnus, as if it just purred right off his lips. It had caused Alec to shiver quite a few times already that night. “What’s the harm of just another photo.” There wasn’t any harm, but Alec hated his photo being taken. “So, you saying you don’t have photos of me?” Quirking an eyebrow at Alec, whose face flushed bright with another pretty pink blush.. “Oh, so you do, huh.” Magnus leaned across the table snatching Alec’s phone from Alec hand. “Hey!” Alec began to glare, but it hadn’t lasted.. It was another round of embarrassment for Alec, besides from the things he had said to Magnus.. Magnus now knew he was a stalker, he’d saved so many of Magnus’ photos between the man’s insta and Twitter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments! Kudos they give me the fuel to carry on! Hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teasing, playfulness, and a walk.. my my what are our boys up too ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! If you enjoy fluff you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Come follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings), it’s filled with Malec goodies, I promise. XD

Alec sunk down into his chair that sat across from Magnus. Watching Magnus was well all he’d been doing besides, _ all _ the things that Alec had said to embarrass himself. Though Magnus looking through the pictures on his phone was topping the embarrassment for the evening. It was just proving that Alec was,—well indeed an online stalker. “Really?” He turned the phone around at Alec, who had saved a phone of him drunk and laughing. Magnus remembered that night vaguely, it was Ragnor’s fault this picture had even been posted, that much he knew. “Why?” He knew the picture was from weeks before he’d even met Alec. 

Magnus wasn’t expecting to hear what Alec would say, “You’re truly beautiful, especially in that photo..” Alec had sat up, but was blushing immensely. To Alec when he looked at any of those pictures on Magnus’ insta or even his twitter, or whether it be his phone—now. This picture made Alec the happiest, that was because Magnus seemed to be having fun and not necessarily posing for the picture. Not that Alec didn’t like Magnus’ poses ones too, but that one seemed much like that Magnus he was with at the moment.. More so than the others on his phone. 

Alec had been avoiding Magnus’ gaze for the longest time, after he said that. Magnus still had his phone, and had gone back to looking through nearly all the photos that he had. Which there wasn’t many that were of Magnus. There were a few of Lydia, and his siblings, before Saturday night. Most of the ones of Iz and him, were ones she’d take with his phone.. It her words he’d been an acessessory for the photo. Not that Alec understood that. Though when Alec finally looked at Magnus’ face, he saw a twinge of a blush. It was nothing like his, in the last probably hour or so.. 

But, it was there and feeling a little proud of himself. Alec had made Magnus blush, it had his heart beating hard against his chest. Alec knew that the night would eventually end. The sky outside had grown darker and Shade closed at ten.. It was when Alec realized he had no idea, what the current time was.. When his eyes fell onto the clock behind the counter, it read seven fifteen? It was still light enough, but Alec could also tell that the street lights were slowly popping on. His heart was quaking in his chest, Alec wanted to ask if Magnus wanted to get out of here. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Shade. It was his home, a place Alec could truly be himself without worry of his parents, or his siblings. The only place he could think of even going to from here was Central Park, but he knew Magnus had probably spent all his time there today.. 

Alec was chewing on his lower lip, because why not? It wasn’t like he wasn’t nervous, he wanted to ask Magnus if he wanted to go for a walk, or something. Though he had a few doubts about asking, because Magnus had worked all day.. or well the majority of it anyways. Alec didn’t really know what all it took to be a model, at least he didn’t know if it was exhausting. Then again watching Iz model clothes was exhausting enough for him. Alec would begin to say something, but would stop himself. He was afraid he’d make a fool out of himself, which was a given he’d already had quite a few times that evening. 

It was Alec didn’t want this evening to end, ever actually. Because to him this was so much like a dream, even if it was one of those lucid awake ones.. It just was so very much dreamlike to him. Thinking that tomorrow he’d wake up on top of a pile of books at his desk. Lydia would have left him voicemails, telling him how much of an idiot he was.. That was something Alec could actually believe, because mainly as it had happened before. Alec had dreamed of meeting someone similar to Magnus, and Lydia had left him voicemails. That had been because his insomnia had messed with him the night before, and while he’d been studying passed out on top of his books. 

Watching Alec was slowly becoming a new pastime for Magnus. The way Alec’s face scrunched up, when Alec might have been overthinking it. Magnus had watched Alec open and close his mouth, like he was afraid to say something to him. “Whatever it is, you should just ask me..” That had broke Alexander from his thoughts. Which had also caused that most adorable jump, he’d ever seen. Magnus was snickering over the fact he’d cause Alec a jump scare. Watching another blush form onto those cheeks of Alec’s was something Magnus could get use to doing. “Well _ …”  _ Alec started as all the air felt like it been sucked out his lungs, when his eyes met with Magnus’. His eyes were more gorgeous than looking at them in a picture. “I was wondering if you wanted to..” It was beginning to sound like a ramble. That was what happened when Alec was as anxious as he was right now. 

Alec had managed to work himself up, thinking there was no way that Magnus would want to go on a walk with him. Just none. “I wanted to what? Darling.” Magnus looked at Alec waiting on for some type of response back.. Alec took a deep breath trying to calm his insecurities about—well everything. “If you wanted to go on a walk with me.” Alec was sort of bored with sitting here, most of the people had performed.. Alec was looking at the table, because Alec knew that there was no away he could look at Magnus..

“I’d love too.” Wasn’t exactly the response Alec thought he was gonna get. Then again Alec wasn’t completely confident in himself, about much.. Well maybe his ability to know chemistry facts, maybe.. Or to gush about Edgar Allan Poe.. or Shakespeare.. His head was also full of random things.. It was probably why both his parents wanted him to be a lawyer, like mom. His father wanted him to work in the family business, and wanted him to marry Lydia. While he did love Lydia, it just wasn’t more than a friend. He couldn’t love her more than that though, not that his parents would understand.

Again Alec had gotten lost in his thoughts, absentmindedly standing, and yet tripping over his own feet into Magnus. Who had gotten up before him, “Sorry!” A blush formed on his face, there he was again embarrassing himself in front of Magnus. “It’s okay, darling.” Magnus smiles lightly, “If you wanted to touch me,  _ all  _ you had to do was  _ ask.”  _ Magnus was teasing him, and it only made the blush that was lingering from falling into him.. Darken again on his cheeks that had spread down into his neck. 

Trying to compose himself before he spoke, but there was no stopping the stammer, that escaped. “I..uh tripped.” He had really tripped, “Relax, I’m only  _ teasing _ you.” Magnus smirked at Alec, as Alec reached out pushing the door open with his long arm that had expanded past Magnus. Magnus hadn’t realized just how tall or how long Alec was, well until that moment. Thinking back to Saturday night, those long arms had been around him.. It made his body shiver in excitement, to have them their again. Alec had arched an eyebrow behind him, wondering if the shiver had been from the night air.. It was only starting to become spring, the nights were still nippy. 

It was Magnus asked, “So where we going.” Asking and acting rather innocently. It was an innocent question. A walk had never been something Magnus had done with someone that he’d dated, at least not to his knowledge. Alec watched as Magnus shivered again, shrugging out of his jacket. To Alec it was rather warm, he wrapped it around Magnus’ upper arms. The blush was already there when Magnus spoke, “So adorable.” With his own blush that was light. Not one guy had ever done something like that, not a one.. Well, not until Alec. His own heart skipped a beat. “I thought about the park, but I figure your sick of it..” Mumbling the last park, it was less than a block away. 

“We can go to the park.” Magnus chuckled at how adorable Alec actual was. Watching Alec’s face was a joy to watch. “And that tweet, was more or so towards the photographer.. not the park..” That photographer had a reputation of being an ass, anyways. “He was being a prick.” Magnus shrugged, as he slid his arms into Alec jacket. As Alec walked a bit ahead of him since his stride was much larger than his own. He was also checking out Alec’s behind, but flapping Alec’s sleeves to the jacket as he tried to keep up. “Slow down,” Magnus called, such he walked the runway. Magnus didn’t have the stride that Alec did, the boy could cross his bedroom in one step. 

“Sorry.” He blushed, Izzy and Jace often got onto him about it. They tended to hate walking with Alec because he was always ahead of them. Alec didn’t know why he was rushing, it wasn’t like he had to be home.. He didn’t want to go home, this evening had been..— Well amazing. It wasn’t what he expected.. Mainly because he thought it would go like any other Tuesday night at Shade, he’d recite poetry and chat with Lydia. It was their normal thing, since Lydia had graduated from high school, and attended NYU. They talked all the time, and they were best friends, and had been for years. 

“So..” Alec said slowly, not really knowing what to say.. Since Magnus had asked him to slow down they’d fallen into a comfortable silence. As the walked to Central Park, it wasn’t far.. It was what do you do in these kind of moments. Alec enjoyed rom-coms from time to time, but he never actually paid much attention to them. 

It was just something about the moment, though. Alec keep stealing glances at Magnus to see if he was looking at him, every time he did Magnus seemed to turn his own face away. When Alec and Magnus arm brushed against one another, they both had looked at one another. A shy smile moved a crossed Alec’s lips as a smirk peered on Magnus’. It had made Alec bold enough to step slightly closer and take Magnus’ hand, intertwining their fingers together. After he had of course as rush of yet another blush was dancing on his cheeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you enjoyed, what may happen next? Could a possible kiss happen? Who knows, suggestions are welcomed! You never know when they can be used. Oh give me commmets and kudos they fuel me remember XD
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking with Alec and Magnus..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how well I did with this chapter. It wanted to fight me. If the dialogue seems off, I’m sorry! I was having trouble. 
> 
> Would anyone like to see Alec gush to Iz or Lydia or maybe both? Or whatever..

It was a weird effect that this guy had on Magnus, ones that for the life of himself he’d never felt with anyone else he’d been with. It was like Alec was unlocking parts of him, that he didn’t even know about. Their walk had quieted down, it was comfortable. It was just as Magnus would steal a glance at Alec, Alec would try to steal one of Magnus. Magnus at those points would turn his head looking into some of the shops as they passed.

Most were closed for the evening, but they still had some interesting things, he guessed anyways. “No, need to apologize.” Magnus grinned, “Long legs are beautiful.” It was true, Magnus loved tall men. Most of his exes were taller than him, even the women he’d been with. He didn’t quite understand it himself, the fetish he had with tall people, but he had a cad they had to fall in… Which was Tall, Dark and handsome. Which Alec fell into all three, because he was tall, had dark hair and he was much more than handsome. He was, was there were for it—well besides handsome?

After Magnus had said that, and Alec stayed more to his side. They were playing a cat and mouse game of stealing looks of each other again. Their arms had been brushing against one another’s. It was almost like those moments in a rom-com Magnus had thought. It sped his head up a little, and their arms had actually touched. Magnus breathed in slightly as he saw the shy smile peering on Alec’s adorable features. He’d answered it back with a light smirk gracing his own features.

Though it was when Alec seemed to take his hand, he felt Alec’s hands were rougher than his own. Magnus heart was beating, so fast he kind of almost forgot to breathe. It was just he hadn’t expected Alec to make that kind of move, as he just seemed so shy. Alec had laced their fingers together, and Magnus gave a squeeze. One that was reassuring, but gentle. That wouldn’t make Alec think that his move wasn’t accepted. Though Alec’s blushes were beyond the cutest thing he’d seen.

As they walked Magnus got lost in thought, he was trying to remember a time that he’d held hands with someone. Much like Alec and he was now. For much of what he could think, there wasn’t.. What Magnus mostly had the more he thought about it, was flings here and there.. There had only ever really been one serious person and that had been Imasu. It had only really lasted less than a year, until he found the bastard in bed with someone who wasn’t him. Bittersweet endings, but that had left him mostly bitter than it had sweet.

What surprised Magnus was how well Alec and himself connected, they’d only had been around each other the one another time.. It was just like something clicked, at least that’s how it felt for him. Magnus couldn’t say the same for Alec, but some part of him believed that Alec could possibly agree too. “Sooo... _soooo.”_ Magnus mimicked Alec’s. Not really knowing where to go from there.

It just was the walk was comfortable without them trying to conversate. They weren’t trying hard to impress one another, just simply walking down the street hand in hand. Almost like they’d kind of forgotten the world around them as they walked. Which that was something that could be considered hard to do in New York. Especially with the bustle of crowds, the sounds of the cars around them. New York was deemed the city that never sleeps, Alec had to agree that the night life was something in New York. Not that Alec went out much, and was more his siblings.

Inside of his head Alec was nervous, but holding Magnus’ hand had sort of calmed him down, made this night seem so much more real than what it had in Shade. It still felt very surreal to even have seen Magnus again, and especially in Shade of all places. He was just thinking about the course of the evening's events. All of it was surreal if he actually thought hard about it. This would’ve been the point that Izzy told him to stop thinking. Because he overthought everything, and this wasn’t an exception. He didn’t know anything about relationships, besides friendships. “Hey, you okay?” He heard Magnus ask him.

Alec was okay, he’d just gone and worked himself up—and now making Magnus worry about it. “Yeah, I’m just being stupid.” Alec shrugged they weren’t that far from Central Park now. “Hey, you aren’t stupid.” Magnus may not know him that well, but Magnus never thought anyone was stupid. “Talk to me..” Not wanting to push the issue to far, he didn’t wanna cause Alec anymore distress than what Magnus saw him under—self inflicted or not. “Doesn’t all this seem a bit surreal?” Alec had muttered, because it just wasn’t real. How could it be? Alec didn’t get this lucky. How was he with Magnus Bane, a model who everyone in the fashion industry wanted.. When Alec himself was a very average teenage boy. What could he give this.. And Alec was sure that Izzy would’ve smack him, for even thinking like he was at the moment.

“Because to me, this all seems like something out of someone’s dream.” Alec meant himself, because for the longest time. Alec had been dreaming of someone much like Magnus. “I’m pretty sure your friend pinched you.” Magnus answered with a light chuckle. Magnus had to agree this all didn’t seem real, but not everything had to be what it was. Things took time to become whatever this was, “Alexander, there’s no rush for whatever this is.” Trying to calm Alec down, who seemed rather worked up about whatever was happening between them. “This is just two people getting to know one another, okay.” Alec smiled weakly trying to calm his thoughts. “Sorry I probably freaked you out..” Magnus shook his head, it didn’t freak him out—not as much as it made him worry about Alec.

“Don’t bottle what your feeling up, just talk to me okay.” Magnus looked at Alec, and Alec could see the seriousness about it.. “Yeah, okay.” Not that Alec knew how to do that. He was use to bottle how he felt, because that’s what the perfect child did? At least right? He didn’t cause problems, was basically a straight A student. He was the son of a crime lawyer and of a big business man. He had to be the perfect one, because his siblings sure weren’t. Alec needed to get out his these thoughts, they were causing damage to this evening. His depression, his anxiety. They were spilling into this, which was understandable. It just wasn’t what Alec wanted.

They were standing near one of the entrances to Central Park, his heart fluttered slightly wish it was earlier in the day. That way Alec could show Magnus his favorite spot in the park. Maybe another day, but Alec was trying to rack his brain for something to distract himself with. The only thing Alec could was ramble off random knowledge that he knew of New York. “Did you know that Central Park is bigger than Vatican City, and six times larger than Monaco?” Randomly spoke, knowing just how randomly it sounded. That was because it was random, and he meant it to be.

Alec spouted random facts when he needed to get out of his head, “Oh Alexander, you truly are adorable.” Magnus laughed, it was almost to precious of Alexander. “But no I didn’t know that.” Alec smiled shyly. “Well now you do.” He said turning his head away, because it was kind of embarrassing. Stuff embarrassed him way to easily, he knew that much.

Alec watched Magnus take his phone out to look at something. Maybe Magnus had gotten a text or something. There he was worrying, but trying not to worry at the same time. Alec had been right Magnus had gotten a text, “Just one of my roommates wondering it I was home.” He smiled, which caused Alec to relax a little. “Do you need to go?” Alec asked, really hoping that Magnus didn’t have to—at least not yet. “No.” Magnus shook his head, “Afraid you're stuck with me a bit longer.” Magnus shrugged playfully. Alec was okay with that, but he also knew this evening would end..

Alec looked at his own phone to check the time, normally he’d stay out till nine on Tuesdays. It was his usually nights with Lydia, not that his family knew what they did. But they trusted Lydia, knowing his parents they probably thought they were dating or something. Most everyone but his parents knew.. Alec did his best to keep it that way.

“So the other night, that was your sister?” Magnus asked, and Alec nodded. “Does she make her own clothes?” There were some things that Izzy made. She loved fashion, shopping, and so on. “Yeah, she’s talented at that stuff.” The only thing besides studying Alec was good at was archery. Though it had been a year or so since he’d picked up a bow. “Her dress that night was gorgeous,” Alec knew Izzy would be over the moon once Alec told her. Alec didn’t know where Izzy had even came from, but he figured that it was more so, to do with Magnus trying to learn more about him. Socializing wasn’t something Alec was good at, which was probably why he was being so quiet.

“I just realized, I still don’t know your last name..” Magnus smiled. Alec knew that his name had meaning, because they Magnus would be about to connect him to his mother and his father.. “It’s Lightwood.” He shrugged, not really knowing how that go over with Magnus. Alec didn’t know if he knew anything about the Lightwood and Barnwell, or L&B company. Alec knew Lydia’s and his own father’s company worked with some type of technology. His father wanted to groom him this summer for the company, but Alec didn’t want that.. It was what _his_ father wanted, Alec wanted to study history or be a writer. It wasn’t what his parents wanted for him, but it wasn’t about what they wanted.

“Alexander Lightwood.” It had Alec’s pulse racing listening to Magnus say his name the way Magnus said it. “Magnus Bane.” Alec smiled trying not to show how anxious he was feeling after telling Magnus his last name. You could clearly look up Lightwood on the internet, and see how his parents were about different subjects. It wasn’t like Alec wanted to hide the fact to Magnus he was in the closet, but he was..

His parents didn’t understand him, that much was already clear to him. All his parents saw was their eldest, who needed to lead by example for his younger siblings. Alec had been growing tired of everything they _wanted_ for him, what about what he wanted? That didn’t matter to them, and it didn’t bother them how upset Alec got when they would bash the LGBT. They didn’t care, they thought it was anything but _normal._ Then again what was normal. “I’d love to show you my favorite spot, here in this park.” Alec mumbled, “Only bad thing is it’s too dark to actually enjoy it.” Alec just wanted to change the subject from his name.

Magnus watched a range of emotions Alec was having, but choose to say nothing about it. He didn’t know much about the Lightwood name. Magnus had heard there was a female DA, or something with that last name.. Not that he could say or something. “Well there is always another day.” Magnus smiled. He wasn’t looking forward to the end of this evening, but he knew it wouldn’t be the last time that he’d see Alec. That much he knew for sure. Alec had unlocked something within him, but he just wasn’t sure what that was.

_Mom_ -

_8:46pm_

_Are you on your way?_

Alec felt his phone go off, and he swallowed thickly. _‘Of course.’_ He was silently cursing in his head, because his mom just texted him. Alec thought he’d been watching the time well enough, but he and Magnus had sat down on a bench as the grew tired of walking. Central Park was massive, and Alec had been the one to tell him that.. “I have to go..” His heart sped up, and his stomach had flopped. It was much like on Saturday night, but this time there was no alcohol involved. So it wasn’t from that, but it was from that Alec didn’t wanna leave the little world Magnus and he had going on around them as they talked. “Do you want me to walk you to the subway station?” Knowing it would be calling it close on the last train. Magnus smiled sadly, as he didn’t want to leave either.

“Might be better just to hail a taxi.” Magnus said looking at the time. It was Magnus who stood first, but Alec hadn’t let go of his hand, as the man stretched his body. Alec nodded, and stood next to Magnus. “Come on.” He sighed, he’d flag Magnus a taxi down. “I don’t live far, so I’ll help with getting you a taxi.” Magnus was slightly taken back, “You have yet to cease to quit surprising me Alexander.” He smiled as he squeezed Alec’s hand.

Once they were where they on the curb of the street, Alec whistled quite loudly. It had sorta left Magnus wish a ringing in his ears. “I had a great time..” Alec said, trying to seem like he was confident.. Which wasn’t really going over the best. Magnus and he were standing very close, but “As did I.” Magnus heart was racing, as he watched Alec. Was the boy going to kiss him? Oh how Magnus was hoping, not that he believed in rushing things.. Alec had never kissed anyone, well anyone that wasn’t family. Okay, maybe he’d kissed Lydia once but that had been a huge mistake. There wasn’t any hard feelings between him and her, it had just wasn’t anything. Which that was something Alec already knew when he’d kissed her.

That had been after his parents made him go to a rehab place, for his problems. That’s what his parents called them, where Alec had cut himself. He had only done it, to try and feel something. Because he felt often like a robot, and he’d closed off his feelings which had only made him feeling numb inside. He was getting caught up in his thoughts again, than what he was paying attention to saying goodnight to Magnus.

Alec went to open the door of the taxi that pulled up moments ago, “I’ll text you?” Alec said casting his eyes away. “How about I text you.” Because t had taken Alec three days for him to even text him the first time. Not that Magnus knew that was Izzy that had actually texted him.. “Alright..” Alec breathed out, but he wasn’t ready for Magnus to leave.. Trying to work up the courage, Alec’s foot slid somehow and he’d fallen into Magnus. Somehow Alec’s lips had landed where’d he had been staring at on Magnus. It had to be one of the most innocent kisses Magnus had ever gotten, “You know I’m starting to wonder if they trip acts are just acts.” He laughed breathlessly as Alec had pulled back ready to start a ramble of apologizes. “Shush, it’s okay.” He smiled pressing his own lips back against Alec’s. Magnus could feel Alec’s heart pounding under his chest, much liked Alec could probably feel his. “I should get going.” Alec mumbled against Magnus’ lips, but somehow he kissed them again.

Sure the start had been awkward, but the kisses were gentle.. Unrushed and innocent. “Alec..” Magnus broke the kiss this time, as Magnus had felt Alec’s phone go off again.

_Mom-_

_9:15pm_

_Where are you?_

Alec pulled back from Magnus and groaned, “I really need too.” Magnus sighed knowing the night had came to an end. “Hmm, see you soon yes?” Alec nodded, of course they’d try to see one another soon. Magnus got into the taxi, waved as it pulled away. It wasn’t about a minute after Magnus left that Alec got a text.

_M-_

_9:17pm_

_Told you I’d text you. Lol._

Alec couldn’t help but chuckle at it, and then the rush to get home was on. Well not before replying to Magnus.

_Oh of course ;)_

Alec didn’t want to seem to needy, so he’d left off that he’d already missed Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the chapter was to everyone’s liking. Leave me the comments or kudos that are amazing, and it brightens my day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec comes home and texts with Magnus and Izzy and Alec gush over things.. (well Alec’s kind of version)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I’m asking. What kind of things would you like to see more of. I know someone asked about more interactions with the other characters.. immma trying. It’s just with as AU as it is it’s kinda hard to bring all the characters together.. 
> 
> I have ideas and plans for things I just don’t know when they happen. 
> 
> This story was only suppose to be a two shot at most.. XD it expanded into so much more. 
> 
> So thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you so much for sticking with the story and giving me words of encouragement, amoung other things. You don’t know how much they mean to me. But seriously come follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings)

Alec had ran most of the way home, knowing that his mom would likely be mad that he was late. But nothing was going to break his good mood—his happiness. Because that evening had been one of the best in his life. There weren’t many times that Alec could say he’d been as happy as he was right now. It was reaching to be about nine thirty at night. Normally he was already home by now, but things had came up. He didn’t really care if his mom yelled at him, the kiss with Magnus had made everything that would come worth it all. 

He was almost skipping because of his mood, as he walked into the building. Alec had even said evening to the doorman, which Alec knew his name was Steve or something like that. It was out of character for Alec to even say something, normally it was a nod of acknowledging. But not tonight, Alec said hello—well the correct word had been evening. 

_ M _ :

_ 9:45pm _

_ Yes, I’m about home.  _

The reason it had taken him longer to get home, was the walk with Magnus and that he had been texting Magnus since Alec watched him off in the taxi. 

_ So am I. Home I mean..  _

Alec texted Magnus, he was still nervous about whatever this was between them. But Alec could still feel Magnus’ lips against his. It was almost like magic, was there between the two of them. All of it made Alec’s head dizzy. 

_ M: _

_ 9:46pm _

_ You’re adorable Alexander. _

Alec blushed, Magnus and him calling him adorable. 

_ Thanks? _

Taking a compliment wasn’t something Alec was used to. That was also went Alec had made it to his floor, as he step onto the hall. The smile wasn’t going to come off his face, it just wasn’t. Figuring Mom had locked the door by now, he’d taken his key out. That was when the door was rip open, by his mom glaring at him. “You’re late.” It caused his smile to disappear, but his mood was still intact for the most part. “I’m here aren’t I?” Where had that came from? It wasn’t like Alec to talk back, the shock on his mom’s face told him that. “Sorry, you are right. I’m later than normal. It’s just I had forgotten about meeting Lydia. So I spent some extra time with her.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it also wasn’t exactly the truth.

His phone buzzed again, he knew that it was Magnus. He choose to ignore it, until he was out from under his mother glare. “Right.” Maryse spoke, Alec could still feel her eyes on him. “Just don’t do it again.” A relief rushed through him, thankfully Maryse was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Watching Iz and Jace enough taught him something, he guessed. That and his own responsibility of usually being on time. “Just get to bed, you have school.” Alec nodded with a smile. 

After Alec walked past his mom giving her a kiss on the cheek, he had head up the stairs. Pulling out his phone, to look at Magnus’ text. 

_ M _ :

_ 9:50pm _

_ You so need to learn to take a compliment.  _

How did Alec know he’d say something like that, maybe it was from earlier that evening. 

_ You home now? _

It was innocent enough question, as Alec was wondering how far Magnus actual lived. It wasn’t like they’d exchanged addresses, he just wanted to be sure he made it home alright. It was his fault Magnus had missed the last train. Maybe the train would’ve been faster, there he was worrying again. His phone buzzed again, and it caused him to jump and drop his phone in the hall outside Izzy and his bedroom. “Alec?” Iz had came out rubbing her eyes as she’d been asleep. 

_ M: _

_ 9:53pm _

_ Yeah, I’m home. I’m gonna hit the hay. Goodnight Darling :-* _

Alec smiled down at his phone as he picked it up. It was sort of freaking Izzy out, Alec didn’t spend this much time staring at his phone. “Hey!” Iz had grabbed the phone from her big brother. “Give it back!” He exclaimed knowing he might wake Max and Jace. “Ohhhh, you didn’t  _ meet _ Lydia..” Izzy rose her eyebrow at her big brother. “Yes, I did actually.” Alec rolled his eyes, knowing that Izzy wasn’t going to believe him. “Rii _ iii _ ight!” She said not really believing Alec, “You’re welcome by the way!” She grinned knowing exactly what she’d done. 

“Yeah! I have a bone to pick with you, Iz!” Alec glared. “You was supposed to only text Simon.” His eyebrow raised, “Well, I’m not the one that left an open text up.” She shrugged. “Touché” Alec relaxed, maybe it was slightly his fault. That her temptation got the better of her. “Now, Alec you are gonna come to my room and spill!” Pulling her brother by the wrist into her room. 

“Okay.” He didn’t get much choice in it, he still wanted to at least text Magnus back. Once inside of Iz’s room and thrown into a chair. “Well spill!” Wanting to know everything, because one it was someone Alec was interested in. Two was that it was Magnus Bane, and three was the smile that was plastered on Alec’s face. “Yeah, hang on..” He was rereading Magnus text. 

_ Goodnight Magnus. _

“Okay, what do you wanna know?” Alec asked Iz, “I don’t know, everything.” Of course she wasn’t specific on what she wanted to know. “We talked mostly.” Alec didn’t want to tell her about Shade and who he read a poem that he created mostly from the top of his head. “Though we did end the evening with a kiss.” Well the first kiss had been Alec tripping, but there were at least two after. All the kisses had been magical. Alec was touching his lips as he thought about it. It hadn’t exactly been his first kiss, as Alec had given that to Lydia. But it was his first with someone he actually was beginning to like. Not that he didn’t already like Magnus before, Alec didn’t even know what they were at the moment.

“Earth to Alec!” He was overthinking things again, making them more complicated than what it was. It was like Magnus said, there was no rush. “Yeah?” Alec answered watching Izzy dance around trying to get his attention. “Are you finally gonna come out?” Iz asked, and his heart stopped. The breathe had left his lungs, “No.” As of right now, it was safer for him. Maybe he was a coward about it, but he wasn’t ready. “I can’t Iz.” He knew what his parents reactions would be.. It would be horrible, and he just couldn’t. Family meant everything to him, even if he did try to please everyone but himself.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna here you thoughts give me commments and kudos they make the days brighter.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerky Jace? Mentions of Alec’s depression. Magnus and Alec texting. And Max

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: TRIGGERS! Mentions of self-harm. References as well. Depression too. 
> 
> If any of these set you off! Sorry... was not my intent. Just yeah, letting you know please skip those parts if they make you uncomfortable and I’ve added warning tags. 
> 
> Anyways how are my lovelies? Good I hope! I know the story seems slightly dark.. I just Well.. I don’t know. I suffer from a few of the same things, and just yes. Expressing some feelings. 
> 
> Anyways come follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings). If you haven’t already! You’ll get tons of Malec goodies ;)

It had been a few days since Tuesday evening, it was now Saturday again. Officially a week since Alec and Magnus had met. They’d spent the rest of the week texting one another. Iz and Jace were still grounded, but Iz had earned her phone back. Though once she’d gotten on Instagram, she found the picture that Magnus took of him. Izzy had gotten onto his case about it. Basically because Ale hadn’t told her that, he hadn’t thought that it was very relevant. It wasn’t to him anyways, he wasn’t big on having his photos taken. Most photos he had a stoic stare, and those few he smiled in looked forced. 

It was Izzy reading some of the comments to him, and showing him. Because Iz knew that Alec wouldn’t believe her. They comments as she had read them had him blushing. There was one where Magnus had commented, saying  _ ‘Sorry ladies and gents, he’s taken. ;)’   _ Alec chuckled and shook his head. It was true, though Alec and him hadn’t really discussed what they actual were.. It sped his heart up thinking about it. Magnus made him feel things he hadn’t felt before, though his fear of his parents made him hold back. 

Jace  _ was _ and  _ is  _ his best friend, they’d been friends for years. Jace was actually who he had actually had his first crush on, not that Jace knew that.. At least Alec didn’t think he knew, but as snoopy as Jace and Izzy was.. It wouldn’t be surprising. Jace had moved in with them, when he was seven. That was because his parents had died in a car crash. Jace’s father had been someone just to make partner with Alec’s and Lydia’s father. Their families were all very close, well Jace’s, Lydia’s and his own father had all been in the same fraternity when they’d been in college. Jace’s father had asked Robert and Maryse to be the godparents to Jace, incase something to him and his wife. 

“Oi! Are you two done gossiping, or whatever you two are doing?” Jace had barged into Alec’s room. “I need Alec’s help.” There was a big grin on Jace’s face and knowing Jace like he did.. Well whatever Jace needed his help with was either going to get him into trouble, or Jace wanted him to cover for him. “We wasn’t doing either.” Iz huffed, because she was enjoying the quiet teasing she’d been giving Alec about Magnus. As Jace didn’t know anything about Magnus, and Alec hadn’t said anything to him. Jace didn’t even really know that Alec was  _ gay,  _ Iz may have said something to Jace about it. Though Jace didn’t believe it. Jace respected Alec a little more than to go through his personal journal unlike his nosy little sister. 

“Okay?” Alec rose his eyebrow that had disappeared into his hairline. Alec knew Jace all too well, because there were only a few things that would have Jace ask that. One was homework, two was something that get them into trouble, and two was sparring. Alec actually enjoyed the first one the latter one, the mid one wasn’t his favorite. Though he’d covered for Jace enough, “Is it something that’s gonna get me or your into more trouble, because dude you are still  _ grounded _ .” Alec rolled his eyes as the grin was plastered all over Jace’s face. “No, Jace.” Jace knew he was grounded and still under house arrest by mom, as was Izzy from last Saturday. “Aww, come on Alec.” The only time Jace wanted out was for a girl, especially under house arrest. “Mom will kill me.” Which wasn’t exactly true, “We both know that’s not true.” Jace who was leaning against the doorframe. “What if I already have plans, myself.” It was worth the try, and he didn’t really have plans. Alec was waiting to hear from Magnus, as he was on shoot. 

“You have plans?” Jace was taken back by that, and Iz had snorted. “I might, I don’t know yet for sure.” Jace gave Alec a rather questionable look. “With who? Because we both know Lydia works at the bookstore..” Jace had a point, “I have  _ other _ friends besides Lydia.” Again another look came from Jace like  _ who.  _ Izzy wasn’t helping with the laughing behind her hand, “Shut it Iz, you aren’t helping!” Alec grew frustrated. Alec knew that he wasn’t exactly a social creature like the two of them. He had other friends! Ones that were friends with Jace and Izzy.. Okay, who was he lying too? Himself. Probably. As was he Jace and Iz both, who could see right through him. “What?” They were both looking for names from him. “Okay, maybe I don’t, happy?” Alec rolled his eyes and twisted in his seat, as he was in his desk chair. “So are you going to help me?” Jace asked again. 

“First off, what am I doing?” Alec asked because one could never tell with Jace. Izzy was slightly different than Jace. Izzy either wanted to go out to a party and drag Alec along, or she wanted to go on a date. “W _ elllllll _ …” Alec’s eyes rolled as he waited for Jace to explain. “I need someone to cover me, cause I have a date.” Like Alec thought, there was a girl involved. “You do realize, Mom hasn’t let either of you off from house arrest, but yet you try to go to some concert. And you.” Alec pointing at Jace, “You make plans to go with a girl, knowing that fact.” Alec sighed, watching Jace trying to work him with his puppy eyes. “Well not all of us are  _ perfect. _ ” Jace knew where to hit, when he wanted something.

Guilt. It wasn’t that he was perfect, their parents deemed him that way. “Thanks.” Alec said bitterly. Izzy gave Jace a look. “Go on your date, Jace. I’ll figure something out.” Alec just turned around back towards his desk. He had a paper due anyways, it didn’t matter. “Sooo, you’ll cover for me.” Alec closed his eyes shut tightly. It hurt how Jace had done him. Alec took in a deep breath, to steady his voice before he could answer. “Yes.” It was a one word answer. “Great! Thanks.” Jace shut the door back. “Don’t do it Iz, just don’t.” Knowing what she was going to say. It was always the same between the both of them. Izzy would say Jace didn’t mean it, and Jace would apologize later for how he acted. It was true, but it didn’t hurt any less for Alec. It was always the  _ same. “ _ Could you go too, I’d like to be alone.” Iz nodded, knowing Alec didn’t like anyone seeing him as he was now. 

Glancing back at Alec, “Okay.” Not that she really wanted to leave her brother like this. She hated knowing how upset he actually was. Izzy chewed on her lip as she got off his bed. There had been a time Alec wasn’t as open as he was with his emotions. Bottling everything up, wasn’t good for anyone. It was why she started snooping on Alec, because during the year before.. When Alec caused himself harm, it scared her.. Basically because she’d found him one day, passed out from it. He’d thrown a fit on her for being in his room, and it was his space and she was invading. 

So, things like this scared her. She didn’t want to see Alec doing that again. Jace would get a mouthful from her later, because clearly he didn’t care about anyone else at the moment. This was why Iz usually would say, that Jace would apologize later once it was out of his system. Of being a major jerk.

Once she was gone, and heard the door click. Alec grabbed his phone, looking at his text messages. Hoping maybe Magnus would text him back soon, he needed a distraction. Like Jace had said, Lydia was at work and usually didn’t bother turning her phone on. He knew that Iz was worried, but he was okay. There hadn’t been any slip ups in a while. He hadn’t turned to cutting, in over nine months. His depression was mangable, with his antidepressant. Not that his mom or dad cared much for him taking them. They didn’t understand him at all, but somehow he was still  _ perfect _ . Even though he was flawed. 

His eyes closed as he realized his wrist was showing, it was something he ashamed of. The scars were some of his lowest points.. While he felt happier now, the scars he knew were apart of him and something he shouldn’t feel ashamed of. Yet, he was. ‘ _ Perfect _ ,’ Alec keep thinking it, since Jace had said it. He wasn’t perfect, he just followed the rules. His eyes closed as he sat back, his head resting against the back of the chair. His mind racing with thoughts, as Alec tried to ignore them. 

While Jace hadn’t truly meant to make Alec feel like he did at the moment. It was Jace’s fault, the tears stung at his eyes. Though Alec was holding them back, “Hey, I’m leaving.” It was Jace and Alec waved him off. Alec didn’t really care and didn’t actual trust his voice at the moment. “o-Okay, see ya later.” Saying something so Jace at least knew. Jace would get into trouble either way, but Alec would cover for him if mom came home tonight. Maryse—their mom had a big case starting and was prepping for it. It meant they wouldn’t actually see her if at all, and then Robert was on a business trip. It meant basically Alec was in charge. More pressure on the  _ perfect _ son, more pressure for someone who didn’t actually need it. 

_ M: _

_ 12:00pm _

_ Hey, it’s lunch time!! I have like an hour.  _

His phone buzzed, and happy to see that it was Magnus. Though he wasn’t in much of a mood to actually talk.. 

_ How’s the shoot going? _

Alec sent back wondering, as he hoped Magnus was having fun. 

_ M: _

_ Fairly well, the photographer is at nicer than the last. I miss you. How’s your day? _

Alec missed Magnus was as well, he’d been hoping that he’d be able to meet up with him sometime today. But, it didn’t look like that would happen. Not since Jace had left, a date a noon? Alec shook his head, knowing Jace wouldn’t be back until late. Talking to Magnus was making the urges he felt. It was making it bearable. 

_ It’s been okay, it’s way better now tho. ;) _

Alec hit send, a light smile playing on his lips. He’d been getting better at flirting with Magnus. Maybe a little help came from Iz, but it was only because Alec didn’t know how to. Well, at least not well, basically because of being awkward. 

_ M _ :

_ Oh really, how so? _

Alec shook his head, and chuckled. A bright smile was on his face, he smiled so much anymore his face hurt sometimes. It was all because of Magnus.

_ Because you. That’s how so. _

_ What are you having for lunch? _

Funnily enough, Alec hadn’t given eating much thought. He’d been up for a while, since probably at least eight this morning. Though Alec and Magnus had been up late texting. Even if he was hungry, his mood for food wasn’t really wanting it. His head was still to tied up with how Jace did him, to care too much for it.. It wasn’t responsible Alec knew that. Food was important, he knew that. He just wasn’t very hungry.  

_ M _ :

_ Uh, haven’t figured that out yet. So much food on shoot. _

_ *picture* _

_ See. You choose for me ;) _

Yes, give him the difficult choices. He didn’t really know what Magnus liked, well besides the muffin from the other night. A shiver ran throughout his body, because of the moan Magnus had produced while trying it. Alec had dedicated that to his memory. The picture made it hard to really see everything that was there, but all of it looked really good.. That and everything was more or less healthy. They wanted the models to stay in shape, Alec guessed. 

_ Uhh, how about the chicken? _

Alec was the only one in the house that could cook, well besides his parents. Not that they did much of it these days, they were always busy. So it was either Alec cook, or they had some sort of take out. No one would eat, if Iz cooked. That was because the last time they had, they’d all had ended up at the er with an IV bag because they had food poisoning. Iz hadn’t know you had to refrigerate the hamburger, and had left it out for far too long, before she cooked it.. After that they all avoided Iz’s cooking. Thinking on that now, he’d never thrown up so much in his life. 

_ M: _

_ Good choice! It’s so good.  _

Alec rolled his eyes, it was cute. But so was Magnus.

_ Well that’s good. I mean I make excellent choices ;) _

Alec was using the wink emoji a lot more, it was his most used as of late. There was a knock at his door, either it was Iz checking up on him or Max. “Come in.” Alec said, as he turned his head to see Max standing in the doorway. “Alec?” It was Alec who hmmedz “Yeah, bud what is it?” Turning in his chair towards the door. “Could you fix me something to eat?” With that Alec stood and took a second to stretch his back. “Yeah, I can, bud. What do you want.” As he pocketed his phone as it buzzed. He’d look at the text in a little bit, “Uh, how about chicken nuggets?” Alec chuckled as he thought to the text about chicken. “Okay, let’s go down stairs.” Moving across the way, as he shut his door behind him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you are enjoying the story! I know I am.. Cuteness overload even with a Jerky Jace.. comment or kudos. It all works.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.. Imasu..who.. Alec and Max cuteness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways! I hope everything is well with everyone! I also hope you are enjoying the story. This chapter was a bit mean to me and didn’t want to be written. Angst.. will probably happen. XD 
> 
> If you have an idea or suggestions.. as my friend who I normally brainstorm will has went AWOL I’d love to hear what ya got XD.

Magnus and Alec had spent his lunch hour texting back and forth. Magnus even had found it really adorable that Alec was making his little brother something to eat. It was really sweet, but then again so was Alec. Alec was just amazing, gentle, and so on. It was almost like Alec was perfect, but Magnus knew that, no one was  _ perfect _ . “What has you grinning?” It was Imasu, another model that Camille had hired for this shoot. “Oh nothing.” Magnus waved it off, that was because Imasu and he had a fling sometime ago. It hadn’t lasted longer that a month, if that. 

It only lasted that long because that’s how long Imasu’s work visa has been for. Imasu was a model with Camille’s International portion of her company that she worked for. But today was the photo shoot for some of her male line, something she’d been working on for a long time. Magnus knew that as Camille gushed about it, nearly every time they were in a room together. “Nothing, eh? I remember a few times.” Imasu stepped closer to Magnus, which caused Magnus’ heart drop. Did Imasu think there was more between them, than what had happened? 

They weren’t really a couple per say, they’d found comfort in one another. It had been a misjudgement on Magnus’ part.. Now was it going to come back and bite him? Especially when things were so new with Alec? “No, Imasu.” Magnus put his hand out, and took a step back. “I have a boyfriend.” Which did he? They, Alec and himself hadn’t really said what they were. Thinking about it made his heart race. “What are you doing here anyways?” Asking Imasu, “For the same reasons you are.” Well duh. “Camille got a me a visa, as she wanted a Hispanic glare to her line as well.” Imasu shrugged. It was with that they were called back to the shoot, lunch was over. Even though this left Magnus’ mind racing. He also knew that Imasu didn’t give up that easy, and had no idea how long Imasu would be here for.

Magnus watched as Imasu left heading towards makeup, and Magnus went to warode. Wanting to put some distance between him and Imasu for the time being. He’d have words with Camille for not telling him at least, letting him know that he’d be working with Imasu again. Their fling had happened a year ago. It was for another ad company, not that Magnus could remember. The relationship had been mostly innocent until one night at a club. They’d been celebrating the release of the ad, to the success of a job well done. Things had happened from there, a drunken night, and then so on. Magnus had taken mostly comfort from Imasu, he understood the stresses of the job, unlike the others he’d dated before whatever had happened between them. 

“Earth to Magnus!” Someone said to him, “You’re needed in makeup now.” Magnus nodded, he was lost in thoughts of the past. Magnus knew that Imasu wasn’t going to be around long, but it didn’t change how he felt at the moment. It made him feel guilty, though he had nothing to be guilty about. His thoughts wondered to Alexander, and how sweet he was. It was like Alexander awoke him from something that Magnus couldn’t understand. Made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a very long time, it much more than a fling or sex.. That Magnus had been doing in the last year, there’d been nothing serious.. But Magnus wanted to be serious with Alec.. 

—

It was sometime after lunch with Max and Izzy. Which during and after lunch Iz had been watching him. Alec understood why she was, and she didn’t dare say anything in front of Max. He was too young to really understand what Alec had done. Why Izzy was as worried as she was. Everyone tended to walk on eggshells around Alec on those subjects. Why? Because they all feared it would trigger him. Even when he’d been doing really well, they all feared it would happen again. 

Alec was more in control of how he felt about himself, than what he was a year or so ago. A year ago, he didn’t know how to process the feelings he had. Which was more so he was struggling with, it was something he didn’t have control of. But the cutting he did. Not that Iz or Jace understood it when Alec tried to explain it. Alec accepted that he was gay, but he hadn’t found the courage to tell his parents, and he knew what their reaction would probably be. So Alec did his best to ignore that stressor by not telling them. Sure it hurt that he couldn’t just tell them, but the antidepressants helped. 

Alec, Max and Iz had been watching the Flash, it had been at the request of Max. Max was obsessed with all things superheroes. The Flash was just among Max’s favorites at the moment. This week it was DC, next week would be someone from the Marvel-verse. That’s how it usually worked with Max, and Alec found it beyond adorable. “Alec loook!” Max was running around the couch. “Woahhh! Max! Where’d you go buddy.” Alec winked at Iz, who was snickering behind her hand. “You could give the Flash a run for being the fastest man alive!” Alec exclaimed and picked Max up as Max zoomed around it again.

“Now let settle down.” Smiling brightly at his little brother, “And see what’s next for Barry Allen and his friends.” As Alec sat down next to Max, pulling him into his side. “Will Barry tell Iris, he loves her?” Alec shrugged, “He may, but she’s with someone else.” Max looked confused but said nothing more as Alec unpaused the tv. They watched most of season one before Max had dozed off. 

It left Iz and him sitting there Max was curled up into his side still but his head had fallen into his lap. Meaning that he was trapped for the time being. “You know Jace didn’t mean what he said.” Here it comes, it was always what Iz did. She tried to justify Jace’s actions. “He knows you aren’t perfect.” Alec eyes rolled hard enough his head moved with it. “Look Iz, quit defending Jace. He knows where to hit, and that’s why he does it. He’s being manipulative to get what he wanted.” It was some of the same old things with Alec and Jace.

Jace had been gone since a little before noon, and there was a click at the door. “Speaking of the devil himself.” Alec’s eyes fell on Jace. “Have a great time?” There was sarcasm laced in what he said. “Be glad to know, Mom doubts she’ll be home tonight, if she is it’ll be late.” Alec spoke looking right at Jace. “So if you wanna go back out again, it’ll be on you this time.” Alec grabbed his phone.

Though it wasn’t before he’d slid his hand under Max’s head lifting it as he moved to lay it on the couch. “Cause it’s my turn, you had your fun.” Alec said as he brushed past Jace. Who hadn’t said a word, til the click of the door. “I messed up didn’t I.” Izzy just nodded, and said nothing more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the chapter was to your liking! Comments are the fuel! As are kudos.   
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Texting between our boys and maybe a date set up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, anyways hope you are enjoying the story..

It was a given that Alec was upset and had been the biggest part of the day with Jace. He did his best not to let it show. Looking at his phone, the time read four thirty. Alec wondered if Magnus was done for the day, but since Alec hadn’t heard from him.. He had no idea. Magnus didn’t even know his actual age.. Everything with Jace that morning had his thoughts spiraling in different directions. Trying to stay positive was one of Alec’s hard qualities, he always looked for something bad to happen. Wasn’t like he tried looking for bad things, they all sort of happened. 

Jace knew were to hit to get him to comply. Alec knew Jace didn’t mean some of the things he said. But Jace was  _ his _ friend, and also his brother. It didn’t stop and make it hurt any less, because Jace knew that he was anything but perfect. It was his parents that wanted him to be perfect. Who was? No one, everyone had some sort of flaws. Though Maryse and Robert, they had never seen him mess up.. Well besides a year ago, but they both pretended that it never happened. They never even wanted to know why? They’d just shoved him in therapy and figured everything was fine. That all his problems would go away.

It wasn’t like that. They were the main source of Alec’s stress. Needing him to be the perfect example for his siblings, become what they wanted him to be. Which was to follow in one of their footsteps. That wasn’t what Alec wanted, and sometimes it made Alec want to scream. Sometimes Alec wanted to scream that he was gay at both of his parents, as they talked about him and Lydia marrying one day. That was another version of what they wanted, not Alec. 

Lydia was more or less like an older sister, besides being one of Alec’s best friends. Not that he had many friends to even begin with. Besides Lydia, there was Jace and Iz, maybe Raj but he was well an ass the biggest part of the time. Then there was Magnus, they had just met a week ago..—and had a walk and a chaste kiss. But, no actual discussion of what they were. If they were even anything, Alec figured that Magnus might’ve had different suitors.. Ones probably more experienced than himself. Because Alec was seventeen, and besides the kiss with Magnus the other night. Well there’d been a very awkward kiss between him and Lydia a few years ago. 

Now that was just a mess, he’d felt pressure from his parents. Basically because he’d overhead them talking with Lydia’s saying how they’d make a cute couple. It had been the most awkward thing of his life, and probably embarrassing things. Well until the other night when he’d passed out where Magnus’ sat at in Shade. Jace knew how to trigger his emotions, ones that he’d been doing okay with pushing down. There was a storm brewing in his head, and it all had been caused by Jace. 

_ M: _

_ 4:45pm _

_ Your little brother is adorable!  _

_ You two look alike! _

_ So cute! _

Alec saw sitting on the same bench that Magnus and himself sat on the other night. As he felt his phone buzz, he’d forgotten about the picture he’d taken with Max that he’d sent to Magnus. Magnus was the light at the end of the gloomy tunnel that was today for him. It made Alec wonder if Magnus would be okay if he knew his actual age or if it would freak him out.. It wasn’t like it had came up, and it made Alec wonder if Magnus thought he was the same age as he was. Magnus’ information was all over the internet, all you had to do was google it. Which may or may have not been something Alec had done, or Iz told him. 

_ Haha, thanks… _

Alec sent back. He had to agree that Max was surely cute and adorable. For him, he didn’t see it. Then again Alec saw something different when he looked at himself. He saw someone awkward, someone self-conscious, this list could go on. He was finding himself now to be clingy? Was that the right word? Because he wanted to ask if Magnus was done with his shoot, and if he was busy.. Though Alec didn’t want to come off that way, he also knew that Lydia was busy. As painstakingly as Jace made it aware to him, how little friends he had that morning. Because god forbid if Alec had plans or might end up making plans. 

_ M _ :

_ You’re welcome. _

_ What are you doing? _

Alec smiled lightly, wondering hard if the last question Magnus asked was because he was done with his shoot. 

_ Nothing, Max fell asleep and Jace came home.. _

_ And I left. So I’m sitting in the park. Haha.. _

It didn’t really hit him until now, that he’d been sitting in the park for about two hours. Alec figured Jace was giving him time to cool off. Though this wasn’t the first time nor would it be the last Jace would manipulate him. Izzy did the same, but at least she knew how to be nicer about it. She didn’t cause him to feel guilty, unlike Jace. Even if Alec had nothing to be guilty about, it wasn’t his fault that their parents put him on spot. If Jace and Iz would act like they knew the rules and followed them once and a while, maybe Alec wouldn’t be made out as the example like he was. Then again that never stopped his parents. 

_ M _ :

_ Oh?  _

_ Did something happen? _

Did something happen? Not really, at least Alec didn’t think it was important. Even though it had upset him. But it wasn’t very important, it was something that would eventually work itself out. 

_ Yes and no _

_ It’s nothing ah major. It usually works itself out. _

_ What are you doing? _

Alec wanted to talk about it, but he wanted to see Magnus more. He didn’t want to seem to forward, or whatever the word would be. All Alec had thought about in the last three days was getting to see Magnus again. Not that he knew when that would be, but he’d hoped it would be sooner rather than later. Which Alec was kind of the reason why he was now asking what Magnus was doing.

_ M: _

_ Nothing? The shoot ended like an hour ago.. _

_ I’m just sitting at the loft.  _

It was true that the shoot had ended some time ago, maybe an hour maybe less. Magnus couldn’t remember as he had to get away from Imasu. With Imasu being back in the states, and for who knows how long. It had caused out emotions to come up, and Magnus needed to sort himself out. He knew he didn’t care for Imasu like he thought he had a year ago, or was it more like two.. Magnus couldn’t even remember that, all they’d been was a fling. But Imasu stunning features could make anyone go weak. Which was probably why, the international model had a big fan base. He was gorgeous, but nothing like Alexander. 

Alexander had his own flair to him, something that Magnus couldn’t quite put his finger on. But enough that it keep Magnus drawn to him. Hell, Magnus had told Imasu, he had a boyfriend.. Even though Alec and he hadn’t even been on a proper date.. Maybe tonight?

_ Alexander _ ❤️

_ So do you.. _

_ Uh wanna do something? _

Even with the slightly crappy day that Magnus had had. Getting a bashful text from Alexander was all Magnus needed to put a smile on his face. 

_ Alexander are you asking me out? ;) _

Magnus smirked at his own text as he had hit send. Knowing what kind of faces Alec must be making, along with a bright blush on those cheeks of his.

_ Alexander _ ❤️

_ Yes?  _

It was easy to find Alexander adorable, because he was. Knowing that he was probably blushing on the park bench. 

_ Hmm.. how about you meet me in an hour at The Wicked Monk in Brooklyn. _

Magnus didn’t want to go to far from home, so he was suggesting the place. It was in Brooklyn and only about a block from Cat, Rangor and his loft. 

_ Alexander _ ❤️

_ Okay, see you in an hour. ;) _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are fun as well as kudos! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec panicking... and ignoring Jace still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh sorry that this is much shorter than the more recent chapters!

What had Alec done? Did he just ask Magnus out?! His thoughts were reeling after looking down at the last texts between him and Magnus. Luckily enough he wasn’t but maybe a block from home. What was he going to wear? What was The Wicked Monk like? So many questions were rounding his head, and he only had an hour to get ready. 

Izzy! She’d know what to do! Alec knew she was home, as that was where he’d left her with Jace and Max. If he wasn’t nervous about anything before, he was now! Alec hadn’t even realized his own feet had began moving, heading home. Thinking about the things he had in his closet, which wasn’t much. It was all mostly dark clothes, Iz said he needed more color in his wardrobe. Not that Alec understood why. He was fine with what he had, but he didn’t understand fashion. 

“Izzy!!!” He’d yelled as he came in the apartment. Where was she? She couldn’t have gone out? Could she have? “Hello!” Remembering Max had dozed off on the couch early. Not that Alec cared if he woke Max up at this point, mainly because it was almost six in the evening. Max wouldn’t sleep late that night. “Iz! Where you at!?” He needed his sister, because Iz was the only person he trusted with fashion. “What’s with the yelling?” It was Jace and his heart dropped into his stomach. Alec wasn’t ready to deal with Jace, not after this morning. 

Jace was standing at the top of the stairs, “What’s going on?” He asked, and Alec just stared at him. “Nothing to concern you with.” Alec bit out at him, before asking where Iz was. “Don’t know, thought she went after you with Max after he woke up.” Jace shrugged. Alec figured it was Iz that put Jace up to this, and ignoring him until they’d worked it out. “Izzy! I know your up there.” It hadn’t been the first time Izzy had done this. It was like this almost every time Jace and Alec got into a tiff. “Dude, she’s not up here.” Alec ignored Jace. “Hey, Flash!” Alec shouted knowing Max would come. “Aleeeeec!” Giving Jace a look of  _ oh, really _ . 

“Heya Bud!” As Alec caught Max who’d launched himself off of the last few stairs at him. “Flash, can you please tell Iz that it’s a fashion emergency and I need help.” Alec whispered into Max’s ear, which caused Max to giggle. “Okay!” As Alec sat Max down watching him zoom back up the stairs. 

With that it seemed to get his sister’s attention. “Oh finally Iz!” Alec dramatically rolled his eyes. She was standing sort of behind Jace. Iz was trying to appear that she wasn’t there. Which Alec knew different. “Flash Max! Play with Jace, I need Izzy, okay.” Max smirked and grabbed Jace’s hand. Alec wasn’t ready to deal with Jace. “Alec..” Even ask Jace called his name refused to look at him.

Once Max had pulled Jace away into his bedroom, “Izzy..” A high pitch whine came from him, which was only when Alec needed help when it came to clothes. “I have a  _ date,  _ in like forty some or less minutes.” His heart was racing at the mere thought of it. He would be meeting Magnus at some pub, he hadn’t really heard of. It made his head dizzy, this would be his actual first date,  _ ever.  _ Well besides the times his parents assumed that Alec and Lydia were dating. It wasn’t as if they were or had ever dated. Lydia would cover for him, from time to time. Not that Alec had been on a date with anyone, it wasn’t as if he was meeting anyone either.. Sometimes Alec just needed to escape his insufferable parents. Who constantly thought he was perfect, that Alec could do no wrong. 

Which in all the times Alec had done wrong, he’d been with Iz and Jace. That always caused his parents to blame them, saying that they were the bad influence. Sure, everyone knew that Alec hated social gathering, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to be apart of them too. What usually stopped him was, because he was awkward. Socially, anyways. Alec knew how to do his part in gathering for his parents, and so socialize with those mostly older than him. But when it came to peers of his own age, or around his age.. It wasn’t as easy, most found him odd. As Alec could talk about random facts about things, and not many found it interesting..

“Earth to Alllllec!” Alec had lost himself in his head, and his thoughts. He was panicking, “Izzy, just work your magic.” Alec groaned, he hated anything that dealt with dressing up. Not that it was a dressy date, or fancy. It was just Magnus and him getting to know one another, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying it! Let me know pleasssse. I love hearing what you think! Comments and kudos are amazing things


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...date? Or the start of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I seriously do I make them play pool or darts..
> 
> Did everyone see the episode cause I mean, I’ve screamed at the promo in my head for 3x06 I’ma not liking the tiff our boys are having..

After a mini panic attack, Iz snapped him out of as she pulled him into his room from the stairs. That was basically because his room was right off of them. “Izzy! We don’t have hours!” Iz glared at him, which she knew that. It wasn’t like perfection happened in a matter of moments! “Then why  _ ask?” _ Her eyebrow rose as she moved into his closet. Alec was sitting on the end of his bed, waiting. Anxiously watching the time on his phone, because what else was he supposed to do? As Alec looked up from it, now watching his sister digging around in his closet. “Iz? What are you doing?” Rather curious as to why she was so far back in his closet. Because all the clothes he wore were at the front of it. 

Which none of them had any color, maybe a mixed black and gray, even white and black. He enjoyed a dark blue shirt from time to time. Alec didn’t find standing out, he liked. He was fine with blending in, others left him alone for that reason. “Where did these come from.” As he gawked at the amount of clothes Iz had pulled from the back of  _ his _ closet. “I may have...went shopping on your behalf..” It wasn’t much but a few good looking outfits, or at least Alec thought so… But Alec wasn’t someone that cared all that much about clothes. And he didn’t care all that much for colors, but Iz would insist he needed more colors in his wardrobe.

They’d spent the next twenty-odd some minutes debating that he should wear something with more color. That was before Iz finally caved, and let Alec got with a dark washedjeans, with a black shirt and his old leather jacket Iz had pulled from the depth of his closet. The jacket had been a gift from Lydia, who gave it to him at Christmas a year maybe two go. It was then he’d kind of been obsessed with Grease, and Grease 2. Not that many cared for the second, there was only a handful that he knew that did. But Alec only thought they liked it because of him. 

“Uh, how do I look?” Alec asked looking at himself in the full-length mirror that hung on the inside of his closet. His eyes were searching for Iz’s approval, who was standing behind him. Izzy took a second to really look Alec down and up in the mirror. It wasn’t that she didn’t already thing Alec looked  _ hot _ , as some of her friends would say. It was more making Alec believe it, as well. “You look amazing, Alec.” She also thought he looked far more put together, than what he normally did. Which was usually a long sleeve shirt of some dark color, and a pair of jeans. 

“Now..” Alec knew where she was going, and he wasn’t ready to deal with Jace. “We are not ruining this by talking about Jace.” Alec turned facing her, “I’m not giving into him this time, he wants to make things right—then that’s something he’ll have to figure out on  _ his _ own. Iz, I mean it.” Alec was clearly upset over how Jace had treated him that morning. But as much as he was excited about this date, he was nervous as hell. “You sure I look good?” Panic had struck again, “Alec, yes. You look edible!” That caused him to laugh, “Right.” Running his hand through his hair, “I should get going..” Alec didn’t have a lot and considering what the time was. Alec had looked up the place while he was waiting on Iz to pick an outfit for him. The Wicked Monk was in Brooklyn, and Alec lived in Manhattan. 

There was a silent scream going off in his head, when he realized he was gonna be late. Not good, when it was the first actual date. Sure Iz fixed his hair, and picked out his clothes. All Alec had to do was show up? And that wasn’t even gonna be on time. 

_ Im probably gonna be a little late.. sorry. _

Was what Alec sent Magnus, who was putting the finishing touches to his makeup. This would be their first sort of official date. Magnus thought about toning it down, but that just wasn’t him. He loved everything there was about fashion. Which was probably why he was a model? Well, it was why he stayed with it, anyways. It wasn’t like he was trying to be discovered back then. He’d been about seventeen then, and out with Cat and Ragnor at the mall. Which of course Cat didn’t mind, but it was Ragnor whining cause he’d gotten stuck carrying the bags. If it hadn’t been for Rafnor’s complaining, Camille probably wouldn’t have looked their way. 

Camille had caught up with them, when they’d entered Hottopic.. Haha that year it was during one of Magnus more grunge phases. Thinking about that now, it made him laugh and cringe at the thought..Magnus was also sure that Ragnor had photos as blackmail, ready and waiting on something he did.

_ M _ :

_ How long do you think?  _

Was what Magnus had sent Alec. He’d left a while ago but wasn’t sure of the time. Alec was currently sitting in a taxi, probably about two blocks away. Maybe it was more but he wasn’t sure.

_ Alexander❤️ _

_ Twenty minutes..tops. _

At least that what Alec was hoping, as he bit his lip chewing on it slightly.

It wasn’t as if he had much left to do, about getting ready. Magnus liked to primp, especially when it came to him doing it himself. Most of the magazines and ads, that Magnus was in had most of his makeup and things were toned way down. Even though more times than not he wanted to rip the tools away from the makeup artist that did his makeup on a shoot. They only ever did enough to make him look okay, but that was his opinion. “Magnus?” It was Cat, “In my bedroom!” Answering. “Ohhhh don’t you look fancy.” She smirked leaning against his doorway.

“Don’t you know it.” Magnus turned and winked at her. He was putting on his rings, hovering over each trying to pick what ones he wanted. “Someone got a hot date?” Magnus chuckled with a nod. ”Well, who is it?” She’d asked, ”Please tell me it's not Imasu?” Remembering from their texting earlier that day, when she'd been at work. ”Thankful, no.” Magnus choked a laugh at her expression of Imasu. Neither Cat or Rags had liked the model much, and for good reason. ”It’s with the guy from the club,” Magnus said fiddling with an ear cuff, as he was trying to get it the right place he wanted. 

“Right, what did you say his name was..” She pondered knowing it, but yet it was escaping her. “Alexander.” Magnus breathed, with a funny little grin appearing on his lips. “That’s it.” Acting like she didn’t remember it, which had caused Magnus to roll his eyes. Besides the impromptu finding that Imasu was back, Alec had been the only thing he’d talked about for days. Especially after Tuesday, Rag had to listen to Magnus go on and on about the guy, because Cat had been at work that evening. “Crap!” Magnus looked at the time as well as the text he’d just gotten from Alec. 

_ Alexander❤️ _

_ I’m here where are you? _

“Cat, Sorry! I gotta go.” Magnus grinned kissing her on the cheek as he slipped by. “Have fun!” She called after him. The Wicked Monk wasn’t too far from his place actual, which was he had suggested it. Magnus had planned to casual walk up, but that was before Cat had distracted him a little. So, now he was slightly jogging up the block that it was. 

Magnus was panting when he finally got to the end of the block that the pub was on. Standing tall, acting as if he hadn’t been running.. Yet, he was still trying to catch his breath. He needed to get back into the gym, this clearly told him that. A nervous laugh escaped him as he walked up towards The Wicked Monk. When someone had who looked like Alec turned, his jaw had pretty much fallen off. Alec could clean up really well, “Alec?” Magnus called, putting his hand on his shoulder. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you found this fun to read! We still have more to go.. XD as far as the date it’s just starting tell me what you think! Comment or kudos! I’ll take them as they are or together.. XD the warm my fuzzy heart


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the date begins?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m trying to stay on top of this story by writing a few chapters ahead of what I’m posting.. lol.. 
> 
> Suggestions are welcomed :)

“Hmm?” At the sound of his name, as he turned to see. It had sounded like Magnus, but he couldn’t be sure. There were many people buzzing around, plus the sounds of traffic. The hand on his shoulder was that of a familiar touch. At least that was the way it felt. His breath had hitched as he saw Magnus standing behind him. His heart had jumped up into his throat, words had already left him. All Alec was a puddle of goo, that hadn’t melted yet. 

He found trying to form words as he looked at Magnus, was more than a little difficult. Words shouldn’t be failing him, not like they were. Oh, but they were. His face was flushed, but Alec was also silently reminding himself not to pass out. It wasn’t that Alec passed out when he saw him four days ago, but it was more the fact Magnus had caught him. The only other opinion was letting him fall, but he hadn’t. Alec forced his eyes shut, as he counted back from a hundred by threes.

His heart was racing far to fast, for his brain to comprehend just how amazing Magnus looked. Which even though Magnus was right there, the thought had his heart all over the place. The words rang in Alec’s ears, “Make you speechless, did I?” With that being said, his eyes opened and met with Magnus’ whose face was lit up with a playful smirk. Just looking at Magnus again took his breath, how was he going to make it through his date. Seeing how he’d yet to actually speak to the man he was currently in awe of. 

Magnus knew he looked amazing because he was himself. He was quite amused with himself, over the fact that Alec was still just staring at him. That had to mean that Magnus had impressed him, it wasn’t often that Magnus got to be himself. Especially dressing how he wanted, because usually, he was busy between shoots, but when Magnus got the chance he always took it up a notch. Or well several notches anyways. He did know he’d looked less like the last two times that Alec had seen him. This was much more like the first time, dressed to the nines he was. His motto was more if you had you flaunt it off. At least it was what he always went by, even when he was buying mostly from thrift stores. 

Watching Alec was the most adorable thing, you could see he wanted to say something. It just wasn’t able to process how to. “Come on.” Magnus took pity on the poor boy. Grabbing his hand, maybe a drink or two would calm him down, right? He’d cast a grin back as Alec as he pulled him into the pub. The Wicked Monk was a place that he and his friends frequented, as it was close to their place. “Maia, darling!” Magnus waved at her behind the bar. 

Alec was standing off a little behind Magnus, who was still sort of in a daze. Magnus was wearing  _ tight  _ pants, a bright color shirt that popped as you looked at him. It was breathtaking, and Alec couldn’t seem to find words to even describe it. Now, Magnus was slightly hunched over the bar—talking to the bartender. Alec’s eyes had been roaming the pub, but when he’d noticed Magnus’ bent over the bar. He was again staring, Magnus looked amazing. His ass, in those jeans, was mind-blowing. ‘ _ FOCUS!’  _ Alec screamed at himself, as he turned his gaze off to something else as he waited. 

Just as Alec was berating himself for being a typical teenage boy. “Here we go, my friend behind the bar swears by it.” As he handed Alec the beer, “Ah, thank you.” It had been the first words, he’d uttered. A sheepish smile gracing Magnus, “I mean I wouldn’t know, I’m not much of a beer drinker.” Magnus said as he sipped on his martini. “Well, I’m not much of a drinker..period.” A nervous laugh escaping his throat as he spoke. “But I’ll take her word for it.” He smiled sipping the beer, trying not to make a strangled noise. “You don’t like it?” Magnus asked, “It’s not that, it’s just different.” Alec was slowly relaxing. “You look amazing..” Alec said trying not to stammer over his words. 

Even all the while Alec hadn’t spoken much that evening, his eyes trailed Magnus up and down again. Alec had done this many times that evening already, but Magnus didn’t stop looking. any less amazing. “Well, thank you, Alexander.” A blush that was lingering darken. “ Y-You’re welcome,” Alec spoke as he sipped the beer again. It would take some getting used too, that was for sure. 

“Come on,” Magnus spoke grabbing Alec by the hand. Like it was something so very casual, maybe for Magnus. Though both times Magnus had, it caused Alec’s heart to jump and look around. Not that anyone  _ he  _ knew would actually be there, but there was always the fear for him. Especially if someone Alec’s parents worked with, or a client. His mom, Maryse was more known to give comments and such on cases. For newspapers and the news. Things like that often caused Alec to worry, while they weren’t always in the spotlight and in tabloids. It was probably just an irrational fear that Alec had, because of his sexuality and his parent's thoughts on it. 

Magnus gestured Alec to sit, which he had realized Alec was often very quiet. Magnus couldn’t have been very sure the other night, if it was because of the shock of seeing him there at Shade or if this was just how Alec was. Shy, adorable, sexy.. Were all things that Magnus could describe Alec as. “How was your day?” Magnus knew that he’d already asked that, but they now faced to face. And not everything came over a text as it would in person.

Magnus wanted to gauge Alexander, because though the texts had been vague. And he didn’t know Alexander all that well. It seemed like something had been bothering him. “It’s been okay, but it’s way better now..” A shy smile dashed over his features. It was the truth, that the day had been okay. Slightly rocky, but it was way better now that he was with Magnus. “How was yours?” Casually asking Magnus, how he was. “About the same, but like you said it’s way better now.” Magnus looked at those pale flushed cheeks as the smirk grew on his face.

Alec's eyes roamed along behind Magnus, he had never been here. So, of course, he was looking around at the decor of The Wicked Monk. He always thought about some places, how they got their names? But it had never occurred to him ever to actually ask it. The place looked amazing, but Alec had no sense of style or any of that. Maybe was being biased, but the place was cool looking. 

As his eyes had roamed around, they came back to the main source of everything for the night. Magnus. Why was it so easy for Magnus to steal the air from lungs, just by looking at him. His head felt like it was spinning, but it wasn’t at least not really. Alec picked up his beer again and tried not to make a face. It really was more because Alec didn't use to drinking. “So, do you play darts?” Alec had only asked because he’d seen the dart board on the other side of the room. 

Alec didn’t want to sit there all night, being his normal awkward self. He knew the best way to keep him talking was to actually involve him in something.. Because knowing himself, Alec figured he’d end up staring at Magnus more than what he would actually talk. 

It was just Magnus was simply just too gorgeous for words. And Alec tended to get caught up in staring at him, how could you not? “I haven’t ever really tried.” Magnus smiled playfully, but there was a glint in his eyes. Magnus had played before, but he hadn’t played in a while. There was no telling how he’d actually do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren’t our boys just so cute! Thanks for reading this chapter and if your just joining us..well welcome :) hopefully I’m not disappointing anyone! Comments and kudos are very welcomed! And appreciated.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darts? Flirty Alec.. flirty Magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe!

They had been playing for maybe all of ten minutes. 

“No, you didn’t!” Alec snorted as Magnus was recanting a tell of him and his friends in this very pub. “Oh, but my dear Alexander I did.” A sheepish grin was plastered all over his features. “Ragnor didn’t see it coming.” He laughed, Ragnor seemed to always be the brunt of his jokes. Sure when it actually happened, Magnus had found it beyond hilarious. But, what Magnus found most enjoyable about this evening was watching Alec. He seemed, more relaxed than what he had the other night. 

The story Magnus had finished telling Alec was, that of Ragnor thinking it was funny to tease him. So, Magnus had gotten Ragnor back by dumping a drink on Ragnor. Why it had been as funny as it was, Magnus couldn’t really remember. Blame it on the alcohol. Though Magnus was enjoying recanting some of what he could remember of the stories, of himself and his friends. Magnus had been friends with them so long, they were his family. He didn’t have siblings, not like Alec had. “So, come on, you’ve got to have some stories.” Magnus smiled, watching Alec’s features perk and fall. “You don’t have to tell me anything your uncomfortable with, Alec,” Magnus reassured Alec with a small smile. 

“It’s not that,” It wasn’t that, it just was Alec wasn’t good at telling the stories. It was easier when Jace and Izzy were with him to recant the details correctly. “I usually mess up the stories, then my siblings jump in a fix all that I jumbled.” Alec’s eyes shined as he spoke of his siblings. “I will say, that your little brother is adorable.” Magnus smirked, “Yes, Max is award-winning adorable.” Which was true. There had mom had entered little Max into a contest, well the right word for it was a pageant. Back before she’d become the DA, which was a year maybe two ago now. “He won a pageant because our mom thought he was the cutest thing ever.” He chuckled, “But Max is obsessed with superheroes.” Magnus was watching Alec talk about his little brother like he was the center of his world. 

It seemed to Magnus family mattered a lot to Alec, probably more than Alec would let on. ”Your turn,” Alec said as he handed Magnus the darts. “Are you  _ sure _ you haven’t played before?” Alec teased, as he watched Magnus toss the first dart that one Magnus thirty-six points. “Maybe I have and maybe I haven’t..” Magnus turned and winked at Alec as he tossed the second dart he had. Which hadn’t earned him as many points, but he could feel Alec’s eyes watching his movements. 

It hadn’t been that long ago that Ragnor and he had played, and he’d wiped the floor with Ragnor. That was only because Ragnor was easily distracted, by pretty and occasionally shiny things. 

“Seems to  _ me,  _ you have played.” Alec feeling a little confidence in himself. A smirk was being worn on his face as he slides up behind Magnus, “But I was hoping to teach  _ you.”  _ Alec’s hands ghosted over Magnus arm that was raised to throw. Magnus had leaned back into Alec, and as Alec moved Magnus stumbled. “Oops, did I do that?” Alec grinned as Magnus’ last throw of the dart had been thrown off. “Really?” Magnus was grinning, and a chuckle had escaped. It was too hard to be upset with Alexander. Plus they both of them were enjoying themselves. 

Feeling a little pleased with himself over the job he’d gone distracting Magnus, even a little to throw off his game. Not that Alec minded the competition, he usually only had Jace competing with him. Well that was if it came to a sport or a game. Alec had Jace beat when it came to grades. Though if Jace actually wanted he’d get better grades, but that wasn’t Jace though. 

Alec tossed his jacket at Magnus, in a ‘hold this’ fashion. It was warm in the pub, Alec normally didn’t like showing his arms. He had his reasons besides, his scars. It was why if he had a short-sleeve shirt on, he would normally just wear the jacket or something under the tee-shirt. It had been Iz refusing him, saying that would have to been seen by Magnus sometime. That they were a part of him, which was true.. It just—Alec didn’t want to freak Magnus out. Not by this anyways, this soon. Alec had a number of scars littering his wrists and upward, there were scars on other parts of his body too. They just weren’t as definite as the ones of his wrists and arms. 

Alec had all the reasons to be ashamed, but he knew that he shouldn’t be. At least not really, that was because he was overthinking it. Something Iz he needed to stop doing, which she’d been telling him that for years. It just wasn’t as easy, as it could sound. Alec clutched the darts in his hands, he needed to stop thinking about it, them—the scars. They weren’t exactly who he was now, he fought the urges. He fought against his own mind to understand not everything was in  _ his _ control. But, that was more a learn as you went sort of situation. 

Alec tossed the first dart, it landed on the five in the second ring, much like Magnus’ when it landed on eighteen. His score was now ten points higher than before, but Alec didn’t think they were actually playing to keep score. As far as Alec was lost in his thoughts, about playing and his damn scars. He hadn’t noticed Magnus was not off to the side of him anymore. “ _ Alexander,”  _ Had been spoke into his ear, almost like a whisper. “W-whaa?” Alec shivered as he tossed the last dart, which hadn’t even made it to the board. “Oops did I do  _ that? _ ” Magnus smirked. 

“Come on.” Magnus grabbed his hand, and Alec followed behind him. They needed new drinks, and more talking? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp! Hope you liked it!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...what just happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t kill me!

Being lead over to the bar with his hand in Magnus’. Alec could feel his heart sputtering like it couldn’t figure out how to beat. Even with his back to Alec—Alec found Magnus to be interesting, fascinating, this list could go on. They’d barely knew one another, but something fit. Which was why Alec afraid. He had many things to be afraid of. He was closeted, which Magnus didn’t  _ know _ . Alec was also seventeen.

“Come sit,” Magnus spoke as he dropped Alec’s hand patting the stool next to him. Sitting this close to Magnus wasn’t good for his heart. Sort of wishing Iz had let him wear long sleeves. His subconscious was wanting him to pull at his sleeves, but he had nothing at his wrist—to pull at. Which was another reason, he was feeling again nervous. His scars, when anyone saw them. They were always a subject. Subtle or not. They always found their way into a conversation, Alec closed his eyes and took a breath. 

Once Alec sat, “Seems we both have a healthy  dose of the competitive spirit.” Shuddering in relief that Magnus wasn’t mentioning his scars, at least yet. “I do have a brother, Jace..” Alec shrugged, “We’ve always been competitive.” Well, at least in most things. “Though my grades usually are better than his.” It was something Alec could proudly say. Though it hadn’t hit him, as maybe that wasn’t something he shouldn’t have said. Especially with as frightened at what Magnus’ reaction would be to his actual age. 

His heart was skipping beats as Magnus looked at him. It made his world spin differently, it was making him dizzy. “How old are you?” A dread washed over him.. “W-why do you ask?” His heart tightened, afraid to actually answer it truthfully. Wondering if he did, would this affect what this was? Would it be in a bad way? There were too many questions rushing around in his head.

Alec hadn’t noticed that he hadn’t breathed since Magnus had asked. It was when Magnus answered his question, “You’ve talked about school, are you in college or something.” A shallow breath was taken in, a little shaky. School, yeah  _ high  _ school. Alec was in his senior year at a prestigious Catholic school. “Uh—huh yeah.. school..” Alec didn’t  _ want  _ to lie. Alec was already lying to himself about other things, he shouldn’t be lying to someone he could come to care about. “H-high school.” He stammered and muttered it all at the same time. 

“What was that?” Magnus asked as he couldn’t understand what Alec had said completely. It almost sounded like Alec had said high school. If that was true then how old was Alec exactly. As Magnus waited for Alec to repeat himself, his mind was buzzing. “High school..” Magnus’ eyes snapped over at Alec. 

“You’re weirded out..” There had been an awkward silence that had befallen between the two of them after that. ‘ _ Of course _ , _ Magnus would be..’ _ Alec thought, probably thought Alec was closer to his own age. Alec was staring down at the club soda he’d ordered. He’d lost himself inside his head currently berating himself, because. Well, because. Unconsciously Alec was rubbing his wrist where a cluster of his scars laid. He’d ruined the night, a bitter weak laugh escaped him. Maybe he should just go? Magnus was sitting there as he was shocked. Shocked that Alec was a teenager, younger than him. 

“I should go..” Alec started knowing this probably was the end of  _ this _ . Whatever this was or had been. Because of course, Alec being Alec. He’d ruined it all. Alec knew he’d probably continually ruin it. This wasn’t the only secret Alec harboured, he had a few more. 

Why had he thought this would be okay? Of course Magnus didn’t want to be with him.. Because he was a teenager.. That was it. This was it right? Last he’d see of Magnus. He was such an idiot. His heart was already crumbling in his chest.

With every throb of his heart it crumbled a bit more. It was sort of hard to breath at the moment. Alec moved to get off the stool, “I had a lovely time..” It came out as a mumble, he wasn’t trying to say it anyways. Because until then Alec had been having fun with Magnus. The flirting while they both had been doing while they played darts. 

He was such an idiot.  _ Such an idiot _ .

“Alexander..” Magnus said but Alec hadn’t heard him. 

Magnus had been in a state of shock and disbelief, when Alec said he was a high schooler. It wasn’t that Magnus didn’t believe him, but to Magnus Alec didn’t look like he was—a high schooler. While he had sat there in his trace of finding this out.. Things had fallen together, he understood more of Alexander’s reactions. They were so innocent, much like Alec was.

He had been shocked at Alec’s confession—Okay and maybe a little weirded out. It was just really odd. Maybe not as odd as his silence had made it. His silence had caused Alec to panic, which causing the boy to move to leave. Half of the words Alec had said before hadn’t registered with Magnus.. Especially after saying he was a high school student. 

Magnus had tried to grab Alec’s wrist before he’d gotten to far from him. “Damnit..” Magnus muttered, how had this evening turned into what it now was? It was a mess and Magnus was to blame.. It wasn’t hard to see just how sensitive Alexander could be, almost as if Alec had been wearing his heart on his sleeve.. Magnus’ heart lurched. 

How was he going to make this right? And should he? It was clear that maybe Alec was too young? Or was Magnus just being...scared because it meant admitting there was something between them both. Something that had been there since they’d met in Pandemonium, a week ago. 

Magnus knew he’d probably not catch up with Alec, but his phone was the next best thing? 

_ Alexander…? _

Magnus stared at his phone for the longest time. No response. Magnus bit his lip. What had he done.. “Fancy seeing you..” Magnus eyes looked away from his phone.. His eyes were locked with Imasu’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish to yell at me > [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) < this is where you may do it! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it..


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus’ side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t kill me XD
> 
> And I have posted three times today.. only because I feel like I can’t leave you hanging with just what I had for a few days.. so consider this me being nice.. XD tho I’m not so sure it is.
> 
> Any and all mistakes are my own

In another state of shock again, as Magnus’ eyes were locked to Imasu’s. What was he doing here, was he looking for him? Magnus wanted nothing to do with Imasu. But right now, he should’ve gone after Alec. But Magnus didn’t know where Alec even lived beside—somewhere on the upper east end (I can’t remember if I said east or west). 

“What do you want Imasu?” Magnus asked already annoyed that this was the second time that Magnus had to deal with him today. Imasu had this effect on him.. Magnus wasn’t sure if it was because of how short their relationship had been. Or if there had been more to the relationship, before Imasu had to return to Spain? Magnus couldn’t remember. His heart had too many emotions going on, he wasn’t safe being this close to  _ this _ man. 

“Well, I thought it was oblivious..” Imasu came closer sitting where Alec had just left. His heart raced, the mind was a jumbled mess. How could Imasu still affect him so? There wasn’t anything there or was he lying to himself. Was there more than Magnus let himself believe? 

No.  _ No.  _ No.

There wasn’t anything between Imasu and him. Not anymore, sure there were feelings that had never quite got resolved. “It’s you I want.” Imasu said, “No, you don’t get to have me.” Magnus managed out. His chest was tight, and his head was spinning. Why now? Of all times, why now. 

“I have to go,” Magnus said as he moved away from the bar and Imasu. Being here right now, was more than what he could handle. “Wait, Magnus.” Imasu grabbed his wrist. Again his heart had tightened. The two of them had history, but it wasn’t anything. Maybe had Imasu came back before whatever happened with Alexander. Maybe Magnus would consider it? But, now he’d hurt not only himself but Alexander too. 

“What don’t you get, about I have to go.” Magnus pulled his wrist from Imasu. Magnus didn’t want to face the man, but he turned. His heart was bouncing around in his chest. In too many directions. His world had shifted and everything was just out of order. “This, was that guy you were with right?” Imasu was holding Alec’s leather jacket. Magnus didn’t trust the words to come out of his mouth. So, he just nodded as he took the jacket. 

This was Alec’s. His mind spun. Too much had happened already. Home? Home sounded like a good idea. This evening had turned into a disaster, and Magnus had no idea how to even go about fixing it. 

How his body had even moved, Magnus didn’t know.. His legs felt heavy. When the night air hit his face.. Magnus hadn’t realized he hadn’t been breathing, at least if he had been—He hadn’t felt it. Not until the brisk wind hit his face, forcing him to take in the air around him. His eyes burned. Magnus blinked but the sensation was still there. He’d let Alexander run, his action had  _ hurt  _ him. His mind was screaming at him. This was supposed to be their first date.. And it had been going so well until then. Now what had happened? And how was he going to fix it.

Magnus stopped walking, pulling his phone from his pocket.. Still nothing. Was Alexander going to avoid him now? 

_ I’m so sorry.  _

Magnus sent Alexander another text message, begging for Alec in his head to message him back. Wanting nothing more than just fix  _ this.  _ It was a honk of horn from a taxi that caused Magnus to jump. He hadn’t realized he had been standing in the middle of a crosswalk. “Sorry!” He scurried to the other side of the road. 

Magnus slide Alec’s jacket on, the wind had chilled his skin. A shiver had run through him before he remembered he was even carrying it. The leather jacket was heavy against him, it was also cool. His mind was numb as he slowly walked back to the loft. Silently hoping that Cat, hell even maybe Ragnor was there. He needed to talk, but the one he wanted to talk to was ignoring him. And that was his fault. His reaction to Alec telling him he was in high school had not gone well. Hell Magnus had dropped out and gotten his ged, he’d been sixteen when Camille scouted him out at the mall. 

Just what was Magnus going to do? 

“You’re home early?” Cat said walking from the kitchen into the doorway. “Magnus?” His head was leaning against the door. Alec jack was long on his arms, big on him general speaking. “I’m an  _ idiot _ , Cat.” His voice low and mournful. What Magnus wanted to was curl up in his bed and feel sorry for himself. “Oh, Magnus. You aren’t.” Cat said leading him over to the sofa. She didn’t know what his stupid action had done. 

“Tell me what happened.” Placing his head on her shoulder. Magnus sighed, and began telling her. Everything had started out great, he hadn’t even been sure where he’d gone wrong—or how they’d ended here. It had started with a question, yes. One that Magnus had asked, but everything made a lot more sense. Like why Alexander and Izzy had to rush out of Pandemonium last weekend. 

“You are an idiot, Magnus.” Catarina patted her idiotic best friends shoulder. “Gee, thanks?” Magnus mumbled into Alec’s jacket, which smelled of the sweet boy. His eyes closed as he breathed it in. Magnus sat there with Catarina, just as the were thinking about the other night. When Alec had placed his other jacket around Magnus as the walked after leaving Shade. “But, Magnus.” His eyes turned up to her face. “It’ll work out, I just have a feeling.” Magnus was hoping the same. “Thanks I hope it will.” He muttered before someone pounced on both of them. 

“Ragnor!” They both sheriked. “What? You all seemed too glum over here.” He chuckled as he moved around the couch to one of the chairs. “So what’s going on?” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Nothing.” Magnus muttered throwing a pillow from the couch at Ragnor. “Don’t tell me it’s about Imasu again?” His eyes widened, but shook his head no. 

“But I did have to work with him today.” His body shuttered. “You didn’t tell me that!” It was Cat slapping his arm. “It’s not important.” Though he didn’t know how long Imasu would be around.. And with what Imasu said at the Wicked Monk.. Why had he even been there? His mind remember parts of their conversation now. “I’m going to bed.” He announced as he pushed himself off the couch. 

Ragnor watched as he left, “Whats going on?” He asked Cat as he was worried about their friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you feel like yelling [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings). Tumblr hit me with it XD  
> Thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers are in this chapter.. and implied.  
> Don’t kill me..  
> I’m posting this at work so please know it’s unedited the way I’d like it to be any and all mistakes are mine too

Was the world spinning? Because it definitely felt like something shifted. The air of his lung had been sucked out. It was hard to realize that he was somehow breathing. He was, wasn’t he? How had this evening turned into a disaster? 

Alec had so many questions, his mind was a mess. He was a mess, he didn’t even remember getting into a cab. That was how much, he didn’t remember. Had he even given his address? Alec’s mind wanted to scream, and threw a fit. He was seventeen, not seven. Alec hadn’t thrown a tantrum in years, but right now that was what he wanted to do.

Was this his fault? How could it now have been? It was his  _ fault _ . His phone buzzed, he looked to see. 

_ M _ :

_ Alexander..? _

His breath tightened, why had Magnus even message him. A pang of hope bubbled inside of his chest, and his heart fluttered. As much as Alec wanted to open the message, and reply back. Something kept him from it. Alec hadn’t been truthful with Magnus. Didn’t even tell him his actual age, besides saying he was in high school. 

What if Magnus thought he was some fifteen-year-old stalker of his now?  

He was being ridiculous, maybe even a little he was. Alec wasn’t fifteen, he was seventeen. His heart hurt. Alec closed his eyes, trying to calm himself but it wasn’t working. All Alec could do was allow the silence that filled between him and Magnus, before he left. It caused his heart to hurt so much, had he just been honest. They were just getting to know each other.. How had everything already crumbled?

It had to be him. It had to be  _ him.  _

That was because the universe knew. Knew what he knew. Knew that it would be cruel to him. Hadn’t it been cruel enough? It had given him to parents that would more than likely disown him once he came out. His chest hurt way too much. 

Once the taxi had stopped outside his build, he looked at it like it wasn’t  _ home. _ Even though Alec knew that it was, he paid the taxi driver and thanked them. A shiver ran over his body, it was then he realized he left his jacket. The leather jacket had been a gift from his Great Uncle Will, but Alec didn’t want to think about the fact he left it. 

Alec didn’t want to go upstairs to the apartment, because he knew Izzy was there. That as soon as he walked in that door, Izzy would jump him wanting to know how things had gone. A weak laugh escaped his throat. It had gone well until Alec had admitted he was in high school. Was it bad that he was in high school? The shock on Magnus’ face made it feel that way. 

He’d thought about going to the park, but even Central Park wasn’t much of a haven. At least not after last Tuesday, and then Shade. Shade had been his  _ home  _ when he’d needed to escape his parents. Now it would only remind him of Magnus. At least right now it would. 

_ M _ :

_ I’m so sorry. _

Another text from Magnus? Alec looked at his phone and his heart lurched. It was painful enough, Magnus had nothing to apologize for. It was Alec that should’ve been more honest. Should’ve told Magnus earlier, how old the actual was. How he was in high school, sure he was a senior. And didn’t have much longer, it still didn’t stop the hurt at least right now. 

Alec ignored the text, emotions were still high. Unprocessed from all this. 

Knowing instead of going upstairs to face his sister and everything this day had been already. Especially with the crap with Jace. He knew he could run to Lydia’s, but he’d spare her. Not that Lydia wasn’t his best friend, he just didn’t really want to be around anyone. Though he pushed himself towards the door.

Trying to school his features in his features on his face. He had no idea if his mom home if she had. Alec felt numb and was also trying to calm himself so Izzy would realize something was wrong. Once the elevator dinged, he walked out towards where he lived. 

“Izzy watch me!!” Alec could hear Max zooming around the apartment, much like he had earlier today. “Wow Flash, have you gotten faster?” Alec heard Izzy giggle. What time was it anyway? 

Alec had laid his forehead against the door, listening to Max and Izzy. Who was giggling and chasing each other around inside? Alec looked at his phone seeing Magnus’ text messages, and the time. It was eight o’clock, and he’d left at seven or before seven..That was enough time for a date, right? Alec didn’t exactly know, seeing how this had been his first  _ real  _ date. Ones with Lydia didn’t count for him, though his parents had been planning their fate for years now. 

Alec turned the handle to the door, pushing it open. Taking a deep breath, one that was pushed out of him as Max aka The Flash ran into his legs. “Save me Firestorm!” Alec laughed, “Captain Cold!” Max scurried around him eying Izzy and an old water gun. The innocence of Max was a breath of fresh air Alec had needed at that moment. 

Though his pain could be forgotten for just a few moments. He shared a look with Izzy, he didn’t want to think about Magnus. His body was still numb as was his mind, but he could forget about it right now. Alec tossed a coat that was hanging at Izzy to use to defeat Captain Cold. Which it had, it got a small chuckle from Alec. “Okay Max, it’s time for bed.” An aww came from Max as Alec placed him back down. “Night bud!” Ruffling Ac’s hair as Iz took Max upstairs to get ready for bed. 

_ Alone _ . 

How was he alone, in which the apartment was full of people? The numbness just was there, it felt like it was suffocating him. He refused to cry, he wouldn’t do that. At least not where Iz could see if she came back. Rushing up the stairs, he jumped into his room. Locking the door. 

Alec knew Izzy would come and he didn’t want to be bothered. His mind was enough of a mess, and he’d been enough of an idiot. 

His breath hitched as the numbness consumed him. Alec didn’t want to feel like this, but it wasn’t stopping. He didn’t want to talk about what happened. He just didn’t. It was another think Alec didn’t have control over. 

His eyes closed as he laid against the door before a knock came. “Go away, Iz.” Trying to keep his voice even and emotionless. “You can’t lock yourself in there. What happened?” He could lock himself anywhere he wanted. He didn’t have to answer to anyone but himself—and maybe their parents. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. It.” He not though it as the pressure on his chest felt like it was crushing him down. “Just don’t do anything stupid..”  _ Stupid _ , Alec already had done something stupid, and would probably continue. 

Moving away from the door as soon as he knew Iz was gone. The feeling of numbness was overtaking him. Throwing himself onto his bed, biting his lip and hard. Tasting the metallic taste of the iron in the blood as it mixed with his saliva. 

_ No. _

His mind was screaming at him, telling him not to. Do what it was urging him. The numbness was already there, screaming at him asking if he felt anything. Was he really going to relapse because of what happened tonight? 

He didn’t have any control over this. Izzy’s words repeating in his head, not to do something stupid. He already had once, telling Magnus he was a high school student. Though that had really been him  _ being _ honest. Because it was the right thing to do. But the numbness was eating at him, and it was impossible to feel anything else.. If he did this, he’d have to go back to see his therapist.

_ Perfect. _

Was what Jace had called him. If he was perfect, then he could do no wrong. The thing was Alec wasn’t perfect, Alec knew that. But the pain was there mixed in the numbness that caused his chest to constrict. It was hard to breathe, and the relief wouldn’t last long.. Alec knew that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna yell tumblr! Check the previous chapter for the link. :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, for Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied and mentions of self harm. So TRIGGERS! Please don’t kill me.
> 
> There maybe a delay on 25.. cause well I’m blanking. 
> 
> Ideas are welcomed for a voicemail that Magnus may leave.. or what he might do.. I have some ideas it’s just getting them to flow the way I’d like..
> 
> But enjoy the chapter.

A hiss of pain, as he woke up. Alec blinked staring at the high ceiling of his room. Tears welled in his eyes, he’d done something  _ more  _ stupid than what he had with Magnus. When Max The Flash came knocking on his locked door, he told Max he wasn’t feeling well. It had been a fib, not the complete truth but not a lie either. Max ended up pouting outside his door, well until Izzy promised to take him to the park as long as their mom said it was okay. That was because, with Maryse and Robert both away, Alec was the one in charge. Though Iz knew something had happened last night, Alec wasn’t ready to talk. Plus, Maryse had yet to release Jace and Iz from house arrest. With how she’d been working, but it was normal. 

With the silence outside of his door, Alec assumed that Maryse gave the okay. Alec hissed as he’d sat up. It was good he could feel, but yeah. This hadn’t solved his problems only had given him the relief he needed at the time. Alec knew that he’d need to wash sheets because there was blood.Though he was sure he’d have to toss them out. Blood never came out of anything. 

With the silence outside, he thought it was the perfect time to run to the bathroom. He’d gone to search for the gauze. He assumed everyone was gone, but there was Jace standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” Jace asked as Alec had left the door open. His body froze not thinking Jace was here too. “Nothing.” He was still sort of mad with Jace after how everything had gone down been him and Jace. He had every right to be upset about it, though he didn’t care much about it. 

Alec's heart was pounding, knowing he’d done enough stupid things the evening before. He didn’t  _ need _ or  _ want  _ Jace knowing what he’d done. Because the heaviness of everything had returned tenfold after he’d woken up that morning.

The small puddle Alec had woken himself up in was enough, to know he’d done something stupid. Iz had even warned him not to. “Nothing,  _ right _ .” Alec watched Jace lean against the doorframe of the bathroom. Silently cursing to himself as Jace wasn’t leaving, making it impossible for him to get the things he needed. 

“Never mind, it wasn’t important anyway.” Alec stood to push past Jace. As he had his arm brushed against Jace, and Alec bit back a hiss. It had hurt, but what hurt, even more, was Jace grabbing his arm. “Alec, wh..” A silence washed over them. Jace knew, of course, he knew Alec flinched. 

“Get in there.” Pointing back to the bathroom, Alec glanced up biting his lip. Bowing his head Alec walked back into the bathroom, barely making eye contact with Jace. Jace wasn’t questioning him. Why? They keep gauze in the house for emergencies. Though Alec knew that was because of him. It was very unlikely anyone else would need it. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Alec muttered, knowing Jace was squeamish with blood and terrified of ducks. “I’m fine.” Alec rolled his eyes at Jace, who was basically as pale as a ghost. “Right, just don't pass out on me.” Biting back a laugh, as Jace was already swaying as Alec rolled up his sleeve. “Dude just sit down.” Why Jace was staying that way, a good question. He didn’t want to have to take care of Jace too, he just wanted to go back to his room after this and sleep. He wouldn’t be able to do that if Jace passed out.

“I’m good..” Jace mumbled as he tried not to look at Alec’s arm as he leaned against the wall. He was trying to be supportive, trying to make up for how he’d acted yesterday. Instead of making Alec feel horrible, he was trying to be supportive. Though he wasn’t good with blood, and when Iz had found Alec passed out. Jace had passed out cold too, there had been a lot of blood. 

Alec just shook his head, “You pass out, I’m leaving you there.” Glaring at Jace from the mirror. 

Jace gave a weak nod, and Alec bowed his head. Alec would’ve rather taken a shower, but there was no way he was doing it with Jace standing there. He’d nicked the skin pretty deep, but he hadn’t done it in a dangerous place. He just wanted to  _ feel _ , something besides the pain and the numbness he’d felt. 

Though he regretted it highly, now he would get the third degree from Jace. It didn’t matter, Alec comes Monday morning was going to call his therapist and go back to his groups. It had been foolish of him to even stop going. The thing was those places depressed him more, most of the time none of those there wanted to talk about  _ why  _ they were there anyway. 

“Why?” It was weak, but it came from Jace. “Why what?” Alec had turned the water on letting it get hot enough that he could stand. He had to clean the wound, before dressing it or it would only lead to infection. “Why did I slip up?” Alec asked looking at Jace in the mirror. Was Jace feeling like this had been his fault? Because it wasn’t his fault if anyone it had been Alec’s own fault. It wasn’t anyone burdens for why he did it, but himself.

Jace nodded, “This wasn’t because of you.” It just wasn’t, that’s all it was. It was because he was weak himself, and allowed the temptation get the better of him. He had done well for months, maybe had he talked to Izzy last night. Maybe he wouldn’t have, but he just didn’t want to. Now Alec had to live with one more scar. “So then, why?” Jace was beginning to sound like a broken record to him.

“What do you want me to say?” Alec turned towards Jace, water and a little redness rolling down his arm. He’d opened it again while washing off the dried blood. “That I’m weak!” Because he was weak. He couldn’t tell his parents he was gay. He told Magnus that he was a high school student, and this was how he ended up here. “That I was  _ stupid _ !” He spat because he’d been stupid. “Because saying it out loud, doesn’t make how I feel right now any better.” Alec turned back shutting the water off. 

If anything right now Alec was filled with sorrow and regret. He should’ve just talked about what happened, but he didn’t want to seem weak  _ then.  _ Even though he’d been weak, and let himself  _ do _ this. “You aren’t weak, Alec,” Jace said as Alec glared. “Think what you want, but you aren’t.” He stepped over to Alec who’d sat on the toilet fiddling with the gauze and tape. “If anything you are the strongest one, but you have to let others be there for  _ you _ .” Alec knew that Jace was right, that he needed to let others be there for him. He was always there for everyone else in his life but never allowed others to  _ help  _ him. 

“Yeah, well..” Not really knowing what to say here. “Thanks?” Alec said as Jace helped him dress the wound and pulled his sleeve back down. He had changed into a long sleeve shirt before he’d come out of his room. “I won’t tell Iz or mom,” Jace spoke which it startled him. “Okay? Thanks.” Alec didn’t know what to say really. Mom would find out anyway, well she’d get the bill from Underhill. But, Alec wasn’t sure how he’d explain going back to the group. 

This was awkward between them, “I’m going back to bed, soo…” Alec announced, he was tired. He hadn’t been sure he’d even slept last night. It was still Sunday, and he didn’t feel like dealing with the world. 

_ M: _

_ Alexander? Please say something. _

Was he ready to talk to Magnus, not really? Should he? Probably, but he wasn’t ready. Alec was still assuming the worst, that Magnus  _ didn’t _ want anything to do with him. Since he was in high school, and Alec still hadn’t told him. That he was still very deep inside his closest. Would that go over as well as the other two? 

Tossed his phone on the other side of the bed, not realizing his finger had hit and opened the message. He laid there closing his eyes, trying to think of anything but last night. Sleep claimed him, not realizing his phone was ringing. 

_ M calling.  _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!  
> If you idk feel like yelling  
> My [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) is right here.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for posting the same chapter twice is anyone saw it, if not then ignore this!
> 
> And I’m so sorry about this chapter! Magnus is kinda all over the place..
> 
> I’m also sorry it’s so short!

_ Alexander? Please say something. _

Hurt, sorrow,  _ regret— _ Too many emotions were running amuck. Magnus was sitting on his bed, chewing on his lip looking at his phone. Had it been a little under sixteen hours? As it wasn’t exactly eleven or so. Their date had started at eight, it was now about ten in the morning? Or so from what Magnus’ phone said. 

Screw  _ this.  _ It was easy to tell that Alec had seen the message because it said read. 

Magnus was biting his lip hard, hoping that in the next few moments he’d have a message from Alec. But, it had now been at least five minutes. He wasn’t gonna wait any longer, he wanted to clear up the mess he made by the reaction. It hadn’t been his best, and finding out Alec was only someone in high school. Magnus had thought he’d been in college at least. 

Magnus glared at the messages on his phone, screw it! He hit the phone in the corner where it looked like a phone to call Alec. “Come on Alec..” Muttering under his breath as the phone rang. A groan that was audible as he threw himself back into the pillows on his bed. It was because Magnus heard, ‘ _ This is the voicemail of, Alec Lightwood, leave a message after the tone.’  _ Magnus sighed, was Alec avoiding him? Of course, he was, had to be right? 

“Alec, this is Magnus..” He paused, not really knowing what else to say. “I know I hurt you, but please just answer me,.” Give him some sign that he hadn’t messed it all up. “Give me a chance..” He hung up after that. 

He was Magnus Bane, and he intended to fix  _ this _ . Even if that meant making himself look like a crazy person. 

Well, a crazy possible stalker. It had only been so many hours, but he wanted to correct whatever damage he caused with his reaction. But how was he to do that, if Alec was avoiding his messages and his  _ calls.  _ Granted that had been the first time Magnus had actually called him. They usually just texted, because that’s what everyone these days did, was text. 

What was Alexander’s sister name, he’d mentioned it.. Alec had, and also said that she followed Magnus on social media. 

Magnus groaned as he got on his insta first. Alexander’s photo had been the last picture he’d posted on it. A silent groan as he looked at it, Alec was beautiful. Though yet here Magnus was looking at the shy smile that Magnus had been able to capture. 

_ Now? _

All he could see was the disappointment and hurt on Alec’s face last night. It was eating at him that, he messed up. He could have reacted better, it just had been a shock. 

Focusing! Magnus needed to focus, he didn’t get on his insta to stare at Alexander’s beautiful face. He’d gotten on there to look through his followers, “This isn’t gonna be easy.” He groaned aloud as he looked at his number of followers. Which there was nearly a million followers. 

There was no way he was going to find her, not in the millions of names he’d already scrolled through. He’d looked and looked, it was now eleven—or close enough to being eleven. 

Feeling defeated, Magnus eyes closed thinking about Alec. Of course, he was thinking about Alexander. As he had something snapped! Inside his head, he bolted up..

_ Central Park! _

Alexander said something about it when they had gone for their walk there, after tiring of Shade. Maybe trying those places, he’d find Alexander? That’s what Magnus was hoping, or did it make him seem.. Well crazy? There was just something about Alexander that unlocked something inside of Magnus. Magnus wasn’t sure what it was, but he wanted to know what  _ that  _ was. Even if it meant begging. 

He just.. Magnus  _ wanted,  _ no Magnus  _ needed  _ to know if Alexander was alright. Though, some part of him already knew that the boy wasn’t. He clearly had seen that on Alec’s face when Alec said that he should go. 

His heart clenched at the thought of those words. “Right.” He planned on going to the park.. Hoping to find Alec.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meets Izzy and Max..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.. I hope this chapter is better and it’s longer I know that..  
> but enjoy!
> 
> Edit: trying something new that I stole the idea, but it makes sense to do. But if you wanna tweet me your reactions.. #sf2011 feel free.. :)

Did Magnus even realize how big Central Park was? He’d stopped into Shade and gotten a mocha latte no foam. Which he was currently sipping on. Looking into the vast park, and a feeling of being overwhelmed washed over him. Magnus sighed, where did he even begin looking. Maybe someone in the park, knew him? Or had an idea where he lived..

Though now thinking about that, he doubted if anyone did they’d tell him. Why had he come? Was it to torture himself, over what had happened. His reaction? All Magnus wanted was a chance to apologize. If that was all he got he’d understand, but he didn’t want to give up on this, whatever it was. They barely had known each other a week, and already had a misunderstanding. 

“Max! Slow down!” Someone hollered, Magnus heard. It couldn’t be the same Max, there was no way. Lost in his thoughts, Magnus thought about how cute Alexander and his little brother had been, just yesterday. Why had he screwed up? 

“Woah!” Magnus barely had a chance to react as something flashed quickly and into his legs almost. A slight whimper came from below him, though he’d been looking around him.. Magnus saw the little boy sitting on the ground, had Magnus pushed him.  _ ‘Great, you hurt a kid.’  _ With an inward groan, Magnus got down on his knees. “Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt did you?” The little boy had dark hair, who was bent holding his knee as he nodded. “Can I see?” Magnus asked in a gentle voice. “Oh, you poor thing.” It was merely a scratch, “I’m sorry if I caused you to get hurt.” Magnus said biting his lip, he didn’t know what else he could do. He didn’t have anything to clean the small wound.

“Maxie?! Are you okay?” A girl with the nearly the same color hair as the little boy. He felt like he’d seen her somewhere before, but wasn’t exactly sure. Magnus watched the pair as he stood, unsure what he should do here. He didn’t exactly want to leave, because there was a possibility it had been Magnus’ fault the little kid had gotten hurt. “I told you to slow down! There’s people walking around here.” She said in a stern voice, “You have to listen to me.” She sighed giving the little boy a hug. “I’m sorry Izzy.” Max said bowing his head. “Now we gotta go home and get that cleaned up.” Izzy spoke and Max looked disappointed.

“I’m so sorry for my little brother.” Izzy hadn’t even realized who she was talking to yet. When her eyes lifted up looking at Magnus. “Your Magnus Bane..” she gasped. “Yeah, well..” Magnus bit his lip, not really sure what he should say here. “It’s okay.” Magnus said, he wasn’t hurt unlike the little boy. “Tell me how the date went!” She exclaimed. “Huh?” Magnus was a little confused, “I’m Isabelle  _ Lightwood,  _ and that’s Max.” She shrugged not really caring. It had been sorta dark in the club, he heard mostly her voice that night. “Oh,  _ oh. _ ” This was Alexander’s sister and brother. “Did Alexander not say?” Biting his lip feeling nervous.

Isabelle shook her head, “He wouldn’t talk to me, after he came home. Did something happen?” She asked looking at Magnus. Who was looking defeated, and not sure what to say. This seemed like to her something had, and as much as Izzy didn’t want to break Alec’s trust. She wanted to ask if someone they or  _ well _ someone their parents knew saw them. “Okay, let's go sit over there.” Iz had pointed at a bench near the playground. “You okay to play for a little bit, Max?” Who nodded excitedly as he realized they weren’t leaving as it had been said just a few moments ago. “Yeah! Go on shrimp.” She smiled warmly at her little brother before linking arms with Magnus.

“Come on, you are going to tell me what happened.” Isabelle states pulling his arm as she began to walk towards the bench. In a little state of his own shock by Isabelle, Alexander had something to the effect of his sister being rather bossy, in some aspects. “The overall date had gone well, I suppose. Well until I asked him about school if he was in college.” Magnus bit his lip, talking this openly with someone he barely knew about a more or less private matter.. It seemed odd and wrong, but maybe she could help.. Alexander wasn’t answering his messages, or his actual one phone call.. Maybe he should’ve tried again, in some way. Magnus went on to say he’d been shocked to find out that Alec was only a high schooler. “Yeah, my brother has always looked older.” She said, in agreement. “He’s probably overthinking all this to tell you the truth..” Iz knew that was something her brother tended to do. 

“He’s held himself up in his room.” That made Iz bit at her own lip, and in which turned made Magnus feel guilty. There was a mumble under her breath that Magnus hadn’t quite made out fully. It had sounded like she’d said hoping he hadn’t done something stupid. It made him wonder what she was talking about, but it also made the pit in his stomach swirl. “Would you like to come back, and  _ try _ to talk to Alec?” His eyes widen, not really knowing what he should say. That had been the whole point of him coming to  _ this  _ park.

He’d hoped that he would’ve came across Alexander, but instead the turn of events. They had left him speechless a little bit, Magnus wordlessly nodded. “Max! Time to go.” Izzy shouted motioning him come on. There was a whine from the little Max, but he thought it was cute. He couldn’t remember a time that had been like the one between the two of them before him. Maybe it was because he’d grown up in an orphanage and  _ that _ he didn’t have actual siblings. The closest Magnus had to that was Ragnor and Catarina. They were his only family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter Magnus tries to talk to Alexander.. and finds out some other things about him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max is the Flash waiiit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo HELLO FOLKS!  
> I hope this chapter finds you well!
> 
> Trying something new  
> If you have Twitter feel free to use  
> #sf2011 or @CassiAnime and feel free to follow me too! 
> 
> And I have [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) feel free to follow me on there too!

How had Magnus gotten here? He was currently nodding his head to Isabelle about something she was saying. It had been some point when Magnus had entered the building, did his head feel dizzy. There were a million thoughts rushing around in his head, and his breathing was slightly shallow. Were the Lightwood’s rich? He had thought they at least had to be well off to afford a place like this one. Isabelle was  _ very  _ easy to talk too, they’d talked about a lot before they’d headed up. 

“Here we are, come on it.” Her smile was light and carefree. Max zooming by his legs into the vast living area. “Izzy?” Max spoke sitting on his knees on the couch, “Yeah bub?” A wash of small relief washed over him, as her focus wasn’t on him anymore—at least for the moment. “Can I watch The Flash?” Magnus watched her nod moved to where Max was. 

Magnus hadn’t really moved from the entryway, he wasn’t sure if he should've come. Sure Isabelle had invited him, but still, it didn’t make the uneasy feeling that he had any more comfortable. It didn’t mean that Alexander would talk to him, just because he was here. Where Alexander lived, his head spun. He was and is Magnus Bane! Magnus couldn’t remember a time where he’d felt as nervous as he was right now. Well, maybe his first modeling gig.

“Magnus, you okay?” It was Isabelle speaking to him. Was he okay? Because at the moment being in this apartment, it seemed—Unreal? No, surreal. Like all of this was some sort of dream, maybe it was. Maybe Alexander too was a dream. Or at least this whole misunderstanding was? Could Magnus hope right? With the lump that was lodged in his throat. Which he forced down, “Uh, yes. Perfect.” He nodded as he slowly moved into the apartment more. 

_ Distraction _ !

Magnus needed to calm down, “Are you sure?” He heard her ask and he merely nodded. “Would you like something to drink?” Being asked that, it made him realize how dry his throat was. “Water  would be fine.” Magnus saw her smile slightly at him, as she walked into the kitchen. Which had just been off to the side of him? The residence that the Lightwood’s lived in was truly put together well. “Here ya go.” Taking the offered water bottle. “Would you like to go up? His bedroom is the first door off the stairs.” His eyes went wide, Magnus already felt like he was invading. Maybe he should just leave? Alec would talk to him when he was ready, wouldn’t he? Or was that what Magnus was wanting.

Izzy was watching Magnus, he was clenching at the water bottle. If he squeezed it any harder it might bust. “Or if you want I could see if I can get him to come out.” She was biting her lip, all she wanted was to help. It shouldn’t be a big deal that her brother was in High school, he was a senior anyway. Maybe the age thing was the issue? Though she didn’t think Magnus cared about Alec’s age. Maybe it had just been the shock of finding that out? It wasn’t like her brother was very forthcoming about things, even when things weren’t exactly  _ things.  _

What was he gonna even say? Had he thought about that? Besides saying he was sorry for how he reacted. It wasn’t like he meant to be shocked basically speechless. It hadn’t exactly weirded him out, but it wasn’t exactly something he’d been expecting. “What?” His brain wasn’t functioning quite like how he wanted. “Wait, sure?” His heart was racing because he wasn’t sure what he was gonna say. That’s if Isabelle could even get Alexander to come out of his room. 

“Are you okay?” Magnus heard someone ask him, he knew that it wasn’t Isabelle as she’d went up the stairs. That left only one person he’d been left with, which was Max. “I’m fine.” He weakly smiled. “Did you do something to upset Alec?” Max asked another question that shifted him. He had done something to upset Alec, “I did, and I want to make it right.” Magnus bit his lip trying to calm himself. “Don’t hurt him, he’s done that enough to himself.” Magnus wasn’t sure how to answer that or even what that  _ meant _ . Magnus nodded and watched the young boy run back off, like in a flash. Magnus only shook his head. 

Instead of standing and waiting like an idiot at the end of the stairs, “Hey Max, can I join you?” Magnus asked quietly. He knew what the Flash was, but with how he worked—Magnus barely had time to watch anything. “Sure!” Max perked because usually, he was alone unless one of the other three watched with him.

“What’s your name?” Max innocently asked he was curious. “Who? Me?” Magnus had been invested the tv show that was playing. “Yes, you silly.” Max giggled looking at the tv and Magnus as it was an action scene. “Magnus, what's yours.” Though Magnus already knew Max’s name he was being polite. “Max, but secretly I’m this worlds Flash.” He giggled as he got up zooming around the couch. 

All Magnus chuckled and shook his head. To be so carefree like Max would be a small piece of heaven.

***

It was after finding out what actually happened last night, it was easier to understand her brother. Why he’d been the way he’d been last night. Izzy stood outside Alec’s door, biting her lip. She didn’t know what she  _ should _ say. She also doubted that Alec had even unlocked his door, or even had came of the room in the two hours they’d been gone? Maybe longer. Iz hadn’t exactly been paying attention to the time. 

“Iz, what are you doing?” It was Jace who’d just came out of his room, looking as if he’d just crawled from his bed. “Checking on Alec, what’s it look like.” She didn’t hesitate to knock on the door. “Big brother, you gotta come out.” She looked towards Jace who was just shaking his head. “You know something.” She walked over to Jace. Who was now holding his hands up like he didn’t. “Don’t act innocent. I have know you since you and Alec were eleven..” Iz pokes her nail into his chest. There was hardly anything that Jace  _ or  _ Alec could try and lie about to her, because she had ways of finding it out. She was like their mother in that regard. “I promised Alec.” He muttered with a bowed head. 

“He did something especially stupid,  _ didn’t  _ he.” The growing worry was building in her chest. She turned away back towards Alec’s door. Slamming her palm against the door, not bothering with the door knob. “Alec Lightwood! Answer me!” Annoyed and worried all at the same time. 

“WHAT!?” Flinging his door open looking at both Jace and Iz. Alec was tired, even with the little sleep he got.. These two were beyond annoying. “What do you want.” He growled, trying not to wince as his arm throbbed. “You didn’t!” Izzy started as she noticed the light expression on his face. “What happened to the promise..” Glancing at Jace with a glare. “He didn’t tell me, you did.” Looking at the state of the light bludge of bandage she could see from under the sleeve. “You have a visitor.” Iz glanced at Alec. “Might wanna make yourself presentable.” She turned on her heel as she went back downstairs to check on Magnus and Max.

A visitor?

Who could it be? Lydia would have texted him. Had she been coming over. Closing the door back to his room, and moving back to his bed. Looking at his phone. His heart quaked, he saw he had one miss call. Alec glanced over the texts that Magnus had sent. Pulling his phone off the charge, and typing in his password. Clicking on the phone icon and going to the voicemail opinion. 

_ M left a voicemail  _

Alec’s heart clenched. He wasn’t sure he was ready to listen to this. He didn’t want to heart Magnus say he was sorry.. That they couldn’t be together, because Alec was in high school. That he was seventeen, still considered to be underage. His mind was spinning, the throbbing in his arm real. Alec was most definitely considered stupid, why had he done this? Now, the wash of regret was eating him alive. How long had it been since he had last done  _ that?  _ It was Mar—no April. Sometime around Christmas? Not that anyone else knew about that time. 

It had been at the L&B Christmas party, and his parents.. As insufferable as they were, as the clearly saw that he wasn’t interested in Lydia—liked they had hoped. They’d started introducing him to other  _ girls _ . He’d thought about telling them, thought about coming out.. Then his parents faces had twisted in disgust.. When they saw a same sex couple at their party. Then had to listen to how disgusting it was. How it was wrong. 

Again he felt trapped, and it happened. Though after that set back, Alec had double going to groups. But a month or so later he’d quit altogether. Feeling as he hadn’t needed to go, and now here he was needing to go again.. wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing Underhill. The man would want to know what had triggered, the feelings, why he did it. They were all valid, but Alec just didn’t want to say the answers out loud. 

_ “Alexander, this is Magnus..”  _ There was a pause, “ _ I know I hurt you, but please just answer me.”  _ Alec was biting his lip listening to this on his speakerphone. It was when he heard a knock at his door, it startled him. As he’d been listening to it intensely. Standing up from his bed again and answered the door.. Alec hadn’t expected to see who he was standing there.. He expected Izzy or Jace—Max even, but now Magnus. “Hello darling.” Magnus spoke looking rather drab. There was a state of shock on Alec’s face.. “Give me a chance.” Was what Magnus said next.. Those had also been the last words of the voicemail as well. “Isabelle told me to come up..” Magnus biting at his bottom lip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Check out what I said in the top notes! But only if you want. Thanks for reading


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You be the judge of the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo!! This is possibly the longest chapter to date I think. 2,598 words.  
> Triggers are throughout the chapter as well as implied. 
> 
> If you wish to scream and or yell at me @CassiAnime on twitter or #sf2011 if you want to react to the chapter or you can do so on my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mylifebecamemalecthings) just as well.

Magnus had paused Netflix, as Max wasn’t exactly watching it. Max was trying to impress Magnus with his speed, and his portrayal of the Flash. It was really adorable. Precious even. “Come on Cisco! I need you to vibe this!” Max giggled as he handed Magnus a pillow. Magnus was a little confused as to what Max wanted him to do. Or who even Cisco was. He knew that Cisco was a company, but didn’t know much else. This was his first time actually watching the Flash. “I can’t vibe?” Magnus said a little confused. “You just need a rush of adrenaline, Cisico.” Max grabbed his hand and started running pulling Magnus along with them. 

Magnus hadn’t been sure what Max meant, but this was cute. The boy had an active imagination—that was sure. Magnus did as well at his age, it was probably one of the only other things besides meeting Ragnor and Catarina that had gotten him through his rough times. While Max and himself was running around in the living room. Isabella was trying to get Alexander out of him room. 

It was the sound of the  _ WHAT _ that caused Magnus to drop Max’s hand and stare out towards where the stairs were. Max too stopped, which he seemed to be a tad scared. “Come on let’s go back and watch The Flash.” Magnus walked over after shaking himself out of a downward spiral that he headed himself on. Moving over back to the couch Magnus sat down, and watched Max jump on it as well. Then Max scouted over to Magnus laying against his arm. Magnus gave a weak smile, and reached for the remote to unpause the show. Magnus looked at the shaken little boy, and pulled his own arm from under Max placing it around him. 

It made Magnus chuckled lightly as he thought about the picture Alexander had sent him. It had been much like how this was. It made his heart swell in a good way. 

As Max snuggled deeper into his side as the boy was watching The Flash. Magnus bit his lip and he couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, but maybe every other word or so. Not that anything that he did hear made any sense to him. He was looking over at the stairs, but quickly turned back looking at the tv. Trying to focus on what was on it instead of seeming like he’d been trying to hear what was being said. The sound of a frustrated sigh that got his attention, it was Isabelle. He could see that something had upset her, but choose not to say. 

The pit of his stomach seemed to have opened up, make himself freak out. What if Alexander didn’t want to see him? There were a billion or so questions like this for Magnus. Wanting to say something, but also waiting on Isabelle to say something. “How’s everything going on down here?” She said trying to mask the sadness in her voice as she walked into the living room. 

“Good, I suppose.” Magnus didn’t know what really to say? “Is everything okay?” He asked before realizing that he had. Max wasn’t even really paying attention, or had he fallen asleep. Magnus couldn’t really tell the way the boy was crooked in his arm. It seemed like Isabelle was going through a series of emotions, as he waited on an answer. He could tell something  _ had  _ happened, but Magnus didn’t want to pry. “It’s fine. Alec’s aware he has a visitor.” She said casting her eyes towards the stairs. “If you want to go up.” Magnus kind of stared, blankly for a few seconds. 

***

And  _ that  _ was how Magnus had gotten to here. Who was still standing in the doorway of Alec’s room biting at his bottom lip. There had been the greeting and Alec was just staring at him blankly. He’d also heard the last of his voicemail that he’d left. 

Isabelle had been the one to tell him to come up. Alexander stood there in a ratty old long sleeve shirt and boxers with the whole ‘ _ I just woke up look’ _ going for him. Magnus was nervous, and there wasn’t a lot that could make him nervous. The waiting was killing him, waiting on Alexander to say something, anything really. It would be nice, but all he was doing was staring.

***

What was he doing  _ here _ ?! Alec’s mind was screaming at him. Did he want to—the possibilities were endless. Did Magnus want to do this face to face? Alec’s stomach flipped and flopped as he looked at Magnus. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing. His heart was racing with every thought he thought of. Alec tried to open his mouth, but no sound came out. 

The night before had played over in Alec’s mind for what seemed like hours.. The only thing that Alec could do was stare at this beautiful man. A man that in his opinion had rejected Alec. But,  _ had  _ it truly been rejection? If Magnus was here right  _ now.  _ Was or had it been rejection? Why was Magnus even here!? Standing outside of his room? How had he even found out where he lived? What was going on here? 

_ Give me a chance. _

The last words of Magnus message on his voicemail. Maybe he should give Magnus a chance. But what was there to explain? Magnus was weirded out by the fact he was a high school student. It made it pretty clear to Alec, that this whatever it  _ was.  _ Or what it could’ve been, it wasn’t going to work. And that hurt, hurt so much that Alec had been so stupid last night.. The familiar throb in his arm, and the gauze rubbing against his skin. Even the wet gooey feeling as a new section clung to his skin. 

It had been a good few hours since Alec had put the dressing on. He knew it needed changed, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Alexander.” Alec shook his head ‘ _ no _ .’ Magnus didn’t get to call him  _ that _ , not right now. That might be his actual name, but Alec was what he went by. Alexander was different, he’d never liked anyone using it. Not until Magnus had came around. It sounded different with him. It wasn’t him being scolded, or being told he had to go on a date with some snotty snobby girl of some client of his father’s. 

“A _ lec _ .” Magnus tried to coax Alec to say something. But Alec just watched Magnus, almost begging before his eyes for Alexander to speak or same something. There was a faint smell  _ something _ , Magnus couldn’t quite place it. Though the smell had brought himself back to a time that, scared him. Terrified him to the core, he’d only been six when Magnus’ step father had killed his mother..

“For the love of god Alec, quit being stubborn.” Alec looked passed Magnus and glared at his blonde best friend and adoptive brother. “It’s not any of your business  _ Jace.”  _ The first words that Magnus had heard Alexander said. Who was now glaring over his shoulder, at least Alec had quit staring at him.. Which had felt like Alexander had been staring through him. 

Jace had waved his hand as he’d gone downstairs. It wasn’t any of Jace’s business, why was his  _ two  _ cents in anyway. “Sorry about that..” Alec was bowing his head, why was he even being sorry? That was also when Alec noticed how he was dressed, and vaguely remembered Izzy telling him to make himself look presentable. “Why are you here?” Alec said as they were still standing in his doorway. “Actually strike that, how are you here?” Because they both had yet to tell each other where they lived. It wasn’t as if Alec could explain Magnus’ presence to either of his parents if they were here. Which thankful neither had been. 

“It’s quite alright, Alec.” Magnus had to stop himself from saying Alexander. He didn’t want to make Alexander anymore uncomfortable than what he seemed. Before Magnus could even come up with an answer to Alec’s first question. “Because I went to Central Park this morning, hoping maybe I’d find you..” Magnus sighed. Maybe he should’ve ran after Alexander last night. Magnus didn’t care that Alexander was in high school, it had just been a shock.

“But instead Max runs into me, and I’m confronted by Isabelle.” Magnus didn’t really want to be doing this in the doorway. “How I ended up here, was because your sister asked me..” He didn’t know what else to say, tell Alexander he’d told her everything. That had occurred between the two of them? Well he had, but he didn’t want to say. And having found out that Alexander had hoarded himself in his room.. That guilt had been eating at Magnus since he’d heard it. “We need to talk, Alec.” They did need to talk. 

Sure, it was just the beginning of whatever this was.. Or could be. Magnus wasn’t ready to give up on that.. And as for Alexander, Magnus could only hope the same.. “Preferably, not in a doorway.” He smirked trying to lighten the tension that was between them. 

Feeling very dumbfounded by everything that Magnus was saying. Had Magnus actually went to Central Park to look for him? It was a surprised to him that Magnus listened to him, when he had told him that he’d came to the park to get away. That he had a favorite spot there. Maybe that was what Magnus had meant by looking for him. Though Alec hadn’t got to show Magnus that spot. 

Alec wasn’t angry. No, if he was angry at anyone. It was with himself. “Right, come in.” Stepping out of the way. Watching as Magnus stepped into his room for the very first time. Seeing Magnus in  _ his _ room made his heart racing. Alec looked around to eavesdropping siblings, even looked down the stairs before turning back to face Magnus. Who was standing in the same spot.. 

It was with the door clicking closed that Magnus perked and looked at Alexander. Who was laid back against the door with an expression of pain on his face. Magnus’ eyebrow raised, but also saw Alec go to open his mouth, then stopped. “Just say whatever you want to Alec.” Magnus said, waiting on something. 

Magnus didn’t seem like the Magnus he’d met a week ago, or the Magnus that had been there during their date. That Alec ultimately ruined. Alec was looking at Magnus, and it was heartbreaking. This was because of Alec, because he’d overacted? Overthought it. Because here was Magnus standing in his bedroom. He’d come to the park thinking or at least hoping that he’d be there. 

If anyone had to apologize it was Alec. “I’m sorry.” Were the words that came out of Alec’s mouth. Which caused Magnus head to to perk and stare at him. Oh how the tables had turned, and Alec wasn’t the only one staring. “But, yes we should talk..” Alec had gotten so caught up with the feelings he’d been feeling for Magnus. Talking to others wasn’t something he was exactly the best at. All Alec really knew was that Magnus was different from everyone else. And it scared him, scared him so much he’d done something idiotic. Something he’d been working on overcoming, but set himself back. 

Having Magnus there in his room, it told him that Magnus cared.. Even if it wouldn’t be like before, or if it did stay as it was now. He’d gotten caught up in a moment and forgotten and forgotten that Magnus wasn’t everyone else. “I don’t care that your a high school student.” Magnus said and Alec blushed shyly. “It was just a shock.” Alec watched Magnus fumble with the hem of his shirt. 

Alec had overthought everything, it was really very clear. “I have a bad habit of over reacting and thinking, or so I’ve been told by my siblings..” Alec tries to lighten the situation.. Even though he knew that there needed to be more discussion between the two of them. “I won’t be a  _ high school student _ , at least not for too much longer.” Magnus quirked his eyebrow up, “Senior?” Alec nodded, he had less than a month left. 

“Got any other secrets?” Magnus spoke stepping closer to Alexander. Everyone had secrets. Alec was no exception to that. Magnus even had his own. Though all secrets came out in the end, whether in a pleasant way, or a not so pleasant way. Much like how Alec being a high school student had. 

Watching Mangus step closer to him made his heart racing, and almost forget what had been asked. Secrets, oh yes Alec had them. Maybe some that could strain the relationship. All because Alec wasn’t out.. “What kind of secret are you looking for?” Asked Alec. “Don’t know, you tell me.” He smirked, god Magnus’ smirks made him weak. They were close but not close enough, it was Magnus that closed the gap. Alec had never really moved away from the door. 

Standing closer to Alec, again there was that smell. His eyes closed all of for a second, with a sound of a scream echoing in his eyes. A dizzy washed over him. Those memories were ones Magnus wanted to lock away. “Alec?” A hmm came from him. “Are you bleeding?” Magnus only asked because he could smell the scent of blood. 

All the color had drained from Alec’s face when he’d asked. “It’s possible..” Knowing he’d need to tell Magnus eventually.. They still needed to talk more than what they had.. “I’ll be right back.” Pushing Magnus back enough that he could slip out his bedroom door. Leaving Magnus in his bedroom dumbstruck again. 

What was going on? 

Magnus recovered enough to go after Alec this time, more than he had last night. “Alexander?” He called from just outside the bedroom door. Magnus could hear the sound of water running. Walking towards the sound, knocking. “Is everything okay?” Biting his lip looking at the bathroom door, he assumed. “Everything is perfect.” He called but Magnus could hear the waiver in Alec’s voice. Reaching for the knob of the door, Magnus expected it to be locked. What Magnus didn’t know was the door had a bad latch even if it was locked it would open.

“Alec what did you do!?” Alec stopped cleaning his wound. He had already been pale, there was no way he could go paler right? “It’s not..” It was exactly what it looked like. Alec had almost been caught like this once before by Max a year or so ago. “I’m fine.” Alec bit out, reaching for a towel to dry his arm. “It’s nothing Magnus.” Watching Magnus blink at him. How was this nothing? Magnus had thought, because to him it wasn’t nothing.

“This isn’t nothing.” Magnus said holding Alexander’s gaze before a loud plop sound happened behind Magnus. Shaking the disgusting feelings that Alec was feeling away, “Really Jace.” He sighed, blood was the guys weakness. Alec didn’t really care, he was leave Jace there. “Yes, it’s nothing Magnus. I’m fine.” Alec insisted, knowing instead of denying it. He should’ve been talking about it, and why he had done it. Though Alec felt like Magnus night end up blaming himself. When it wasn’t Magnus’ fault, yes his reaction and hurt. But Magnus didn’t cut him, Alec had cut himself and that was him—not Magnus.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope the chapter is to yall’s liking!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! Hope all is well in your lives, and I hope you are ready for the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it! It’s been a month since I started writing Malec fanfiction XD exactly today, also know it’s Harry Shum Jr birthday today April 28th. 
> 
> Warning level.. this chapter has triggers.. not heavy but enough lol.

_ What was going on here? _

Was what Magnus was thinking as he stood there watching Alec bandage himself like this was nothing. Like Alec didn’t have a semi long cut on his arm, one by the looks of it could need stitches. Magnus, as he took himself back to the night before remembered seeing the scars on Alec’s arms. Though he’d chalked it up in thinking that maybe Alec had a cat. Now, here Magnus was inside of Alexander’s home and there was no cat insight. 

“Alexander?” Magnus was concerned, his own fears of blood overturned by worry for Alexander. When Alec didn’t look at him, it made the sinking feeling all the more real in the pit of his stomach. Why did Alexander do  _ this _ ? It was an honest question, but one he didn’t say out loud in fear of upsetting Alexander. Magnus, what he didn’t know what that Alexander didn’t want to look at him because of his own shame. It was what Alexander had been feeling most of all, and to have Magnus witnessing him bandaging himself.. That shame was like another person in the room for Alec. When Magnus asked, “How long has this been going on?” It when then Alec looked at Magnus. 

There was the look Alec had been avoiding, even from his own siblings. Why Izzy had all but ran down the stairs a little while ago. This was the part Alec hated, he hated feeling the disappointment and the  _ shame. _ He hadn’t done this in months, three months to be exact. Yet, last night had been too much for him. “Not here.” He didn’t want to talk about it in the bathroom. Actually Alec didn’t really want to talk about it at all. Alec witness a nod from Magnus, he turned his attention back to finishing applying the bandage. 

Alec sat there feeling Magnus’ eyes on him the entire time. It felt much like earlier with Jace, but this time Alec didn’t have to worry about someone passing out. Though Alec had been surprised that Jace hadn’t. Alec never really understood Jace’s squeamish with blood, hell Jace would pass out at the sight of his own. It was a conundrum to Alec, as Jace was also afraid of ducks. It made no sense. 

With that Alec applied the last piece of tape over the gauze, running his hand over the length of the bandage—making sure it wouldn’t shift. That was when he stood, his eyes cast downward. Not really sure if he wanted to see the fullness of Magnus’ concern just yet. Unsure of how he’d explain it all to Magnus anyway. The nervousness of it all now sinking into Alec was making his heart race. Everyone in this house knew, well with the expectation of possibly Max. 

Pulling his sleeve back down over the bandage, though Alec knew the shirt was stained from the blood seeping through the gauze. Alec held out his hand to Magnus, hoping that he’d take it. When the warmth of Magnus’ hand was in his own, their eyes met. The concern shown through, and Alec knew he’d have to explain it all. 

They silently walked out of the bathroom and back to Alec’s bedroom. No words were said, just silence. Feeling the disappointment swelling in Alec, but that was Alec overthinking just how Magnus would react. They hadn’t know each other long, and it seemed the bombs in Alec’s life keep going off around the both of them. Maybe it was what Alec needed? But, Alec already felt ashamed of what he’d done. Already knew what he needed to do, and come Monday he planned on calling. None of how Alec was feeling was to Magnus’ fault, not in his eyes anyways. 

If things hadn’t happened the way they had last night, something else would’ve triggered him. Hell, Jace nearly had that morning. That wasn’t something he’d tell Jace, because Alec had already told him the opposite of it anyways that morning. It usually was just a series of events that lead him here, or one big one. Had last night been a stressor, sure.. Ultimately it was him, that choose to do it. 

The bathroom was only a mere few feet from his bedroom door. Alec felt a light squeeze on his hand that was holding Magnus’. He turned his head just a little seeing a small smile from Magnus. It was enough that it made him feel like maybe okay, he could talk about this with Magnus. At least that was what Alec was hoping, and not some major freak out.. 

It was upon stepping into his bedroom, Alec had let go of Magnus’ hand to gesture him on in. It was much like it had been before, Magnus standing off center in his room, and Alec at the door. Yet, there was this new tension between Magnus and himself. It wasn’t anything straining, just neither knew how to bring it up, or that was how it seemed. 

Instead of staying at the door, Alec moved to his bed. His eyes were on Magnus as he sat there. “It was worse a year or two ago.” Alec said, as he knew that Magnus had seen most of his scars then. “There’s a lot of reasons behind why I started…” Alec trailed off before saying, “That this happening wasn’t because of you, it was bound to happen..” It made his second slip up, and Alec knew he needed to go back.. He just wasn’t looking forward to it. 

Christmas last year had been the first, and now this. It was the stress that made him feel like he needed the way out. Alec had been managing it pretty well, but with Jace and the thing with Magnus it had gotten too much for himself to handle, and temptation rose. “So this was why Isabelle was upset?” Alec nodded fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. “She noticed how upset I was last night, and I refused to talk about it after she’d put Max to bed..” Alec voice trailed off clearly he was upset with himself as well. The lump in Alec’s throat he forced down, “She’d also said not to do anything stupid..” His eyes locked on his arm. 

Alec had done something completely stupid after basically three months.. That was why he was calling tomorrow, to set up an appointment with Underhill and return to going to groups. “The only reason she found out I had, was Jace..” Wishing he had a stuff duck or more and line them outside his room. It be funny to watch for Alec, as Jace was afraid of them. Mainly because he didn’t believe that Jace hadn’t told her, and wanted to torture him, just maybe a little. 

Alec had been so buried in his thoughts after saying Jace had told Izzy, though Iz had said he told her. Not that Alec understood what that had meant, he’d been half asleep and frustrated that he’d been woken up. His mind was running wild with too many thoughts, he hadn’t even realized the dip on the bed. “Alexander..” Magnus said as he pulled Alec’s hand away from making the hole in his sleeve bigger. Holding it tightly, probably tighter than anyone had before. Speaking words that just couldn’t be said, he guessed. 

This wasn’t even half of what Alec had wanted to tell Magnus.. There was still so much, but Alec figured that this was a step in a good direction. Even though Magnus still didn’t know he was in the closet, and they both were on his bed in his parents home. That scared Alec more than anything, if his parents found out.. Alec hadn’t ever thought about it in the long run. His parents gave him glimpses of how they  _ felt _ . Which in turned scared him from even wanting to say. 

Had Alec ever actually said the words to another person that didn’t already know? That knew his secret? Magnus didn’t know that  _ it  _ was a secret. If he said those words aloud to Magnus. Would Magnus be confused, probably. The words wouldn’t exactly be for Magnus to hear, they’d be for Alec. As Alec hadn’t exactly said them to Lydia, or his siblings. They just knew, and did their best not to pressure Alec. Izzy and sometimes Jace tended to tease him, and Lydia was basically a supportive friend. 

“I’m gay.” These words held a lot of power for Alec, and even if Magnus didn’t understand the fully. It didn’t matter, because he would soon enough. “I certainly hope your that or at least  _ bisexual. _ ” Magnus tried to make light of the situation. Magnus hadn’t met Alexander’s parents, and probably wouldn’t. Alec had just shook his head, of course Magnus would make a joke. Even though Alec had been completely serious. “It’s not that..” Alec paused, as he wasn’t sure how to say it. “It’s just I’ve never said it out loud.” Which Magnus now looked confused.

“Yes, I’m deep in the closet.” He tried to chuckle about it, as Magnus hand rubbed over Alec’s knuckles. “Okay?” It sounded confused. “My siblings know, of the expectation of Max—which he wouldn’t truly understand anyways.” Alec was sort of rambling, as he was nervous. Magnus was sitting close, probably too close for him to be saying all this rashtionaly. Maybe he was able to say it all because Magnus was there and this close to him. Maybe it made him brave? Or completely stupid.. But whatever this was between the two of them, Alec was happier when around Magnus. 

And they’d only know each other for like a week. 

And here was Alec saying things he hadn’t been able to say in years, to anyone. “My parents are old fashion.” The air in Alec throat caught, “They are set in their beliefs.” Even with the times changing, Alec didn’t believe his parents could or would ever change that. “Beliefs change…” Magnus had started to say, “Theirs don’t.” Alec said with his head down again. He was thinking about the Christmas party at his dad’s office.

“The last time before this one.” Alec said as he ran his free hand over the bandage under his sleeve. “It had been at my father’s office holiday party.” His eyes focused on a section of the bed.. This like this wasn’t easy to talk about.. Not for Alec. If he talked about how he felt, then made things like this wouldn’t happen. “A couple walked in, someone that  _ worked  _ for my dad, had brought their partner along.” He exhaled sharply, “I spent the night hearing how disgusting it was, but it’s always been like that..” It was mostly his father, but his mother also agreed. 

“Alexander,” There was a coolness to Magnus’ hand that had pulled Alec up to look at him. “You are not those words.” Alec almost wanted to believe them. Wanted to know Magnus was right, but it wasn’t always that simple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I appreciate all comments and kudos!  
> Warning there maybe a delay on the next chapter.. as I’ve caught whatever bug my daughter had. Yay me! I’ll be starting on the chapter..can’t promise when but I’ll try to get it up as soon as I can.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!! I’m so sorry about the wait! I’m on the mend of whatever crud I had. Hopefully this chapter isn’t too influenced by my sickness.. cause I wrote some of it then.. at the thick of it XD
> 
> Next chapter will probably be a week or so time jump.. maybe a month.. don’t know yet. 
> 
> HOW ABOUT TUESDAYS (or Wednesday’s) episode... like omg! That episode so intense.

_ You are not those words _

It was easier to hear that,  _ than  _ believe those words his parents said. “Because if anything Alexander, you are amazing, you are smart, funny in your own way, sweet, adorable. I could name many more things. Just because you are gay, doesn’t change who you are here.” Magnus took his own hand laying it against Alec’s pec. Magnus could feel the hammering in Alec’s chest. His own heart bouncing against his chest as well. Magnus wasn’t sure how well his words would sink into Alexander. Or even if they would. 

The words were sweet enough to make a blush on Alec’s cheeks. Alec wanted to believe in Magnus’ words about him. It would be easier if Alec could believe them. That much Alec knew. He agreed with what Magnus said, that he was smart—even if it was only half the time. But he wasn’t very sure about the rest.. He knew that none of this changed who he was, just because he was gay.

It was just that, it didn’t change his parents opinion about being gay. Even if they were basically the anomaly, and  _ he  _ wasn’t. It didn’t change everything he’d heard his parents say over the years. It didn’t change any of that. Even if Alec told them, there were so many risks. Too many risks, but also just one risk if he never did.. Though his relationship with Magnus was young, it felt all too real and all too easy. All of it at the same time, which just made it all the more scarier everytime Alec actually stopped to think about it. 

“If and when you are ready, Alexander. I’ll be there.” Magnus smiled lightly at Alexander. Who seemed confused by what Magnus was saying. “You’d do that for me?” Alexander asked quietly, surprised that Magnus would. Alec knew that his siblings would, even Lyds. He’d barely knew Magnus a week and  _ this _ . “You’ve unlocked something in me Alexander.” Magnus said moving his hand from Alec’s chest to his cheek. He didn’t even understand what Alexander had unlocked. Maybe it was something Magnus wasn’t meant to understand, until it was time to understand it. He only knew that something had, and it wasn’t something Magnus could just explain. 

Alec could feel the warmth of Magnus’ hand cupping his cheek. Magnus’ thumb just a little blow his eye, rubbing slowly and soothingly. It wasn’t like Alec hadn’t even had someone touch him as calming as Magnus was. Their eyes were locked with one another, nothing was actually being said. 

It was a knock at the door, that had broken their gazing. “Yeah?” Alec called, hoping they’d just go away. “It’s Iz, are y’all hungry and is Magnus staying? I need to know, so I know how much food to order.” Alec hadn’t even realized the time, and from the looks for Magnus as he too was looking at his phone. It was about five or so, Alec looked at Magnus who nodded. “Yeah.” Not really sure what else to say, and really hoping Izzy would just go away. “Okay! Hope everyone is okay with Chinese.” Was what she said walking away. “Be thankful she isn’t attempting to cook!” Alec shuddered at the last attempt Izzy had tried to cook. It was pretty sure he’d been locked to the bathroom toilet fighting Jace for it. 

“It couldn't be that bad.” Magnus chuckled as Alexander gave him a serious look like,  _ ‘you wouldn’t be saying that.’ _ “Just never accept something from her, that she said  _ she _ cooked.” Alec shook his head and shuddered. How you couldn’t make edible Mac and cheese was beyond him, from a box no less. 

“So..” Magnus said looking around Alec’s room, “It pretty dull..” Alec chuckled, because he knew that it was. Personality wise, Alec could be seen as bland. That much he already knew, it was a given. Once someone could break down the layers to Alec, then you could see Alec for who he was. Someone that was guarded because he had no other choice. “Seems pretty you.” Magnus chuckled. “Where’s your parents?” Magnus asked almost randomly. 

“Who knows, dad was out of state for some conference. Mom is prepping for some case she’s working on. This, us being alone isn’t that odd for us.” Alec said with a shrug, it had become pretty normal after Max had been born. Alec hadn’t been sure it was because they needed the money, or it was because both their jobs had picked up. There were times that Alec could remember them both being home, but now it was just no where.

_ Why? _

It was a question that Alec didn’t know, but he stayed out of their business. “Businessman, and defense attorney.” Alec could see the confusion on Magnus’ face. “Both want me to follow after them.” He scoffed, not that his own opinion mattered. That was the thing Alec had no real idea what he wanted to be, he saw writing as a hobby and loved it. But, he wasn’t sure it was something he wanted to pursue in that way. “Did you always want to model?” He asked, mainly because he was curious and didn’t know much about Magnus either. They hadn’t really made it that far the other night, before everything turned to hell. 

It was a good question. Had there been anything else Magnus wanted to do in his life? He’d started at sixteen, and dropped out of high school. Magnus graduated from being homeschooled, even though it was mostly on shoots. What surprised Magnus was, that he’d just realized that he’d been doing this for six years. Six years since Camille spot him and asked him. Which at the time Magnus had thought it was a joke. “I don’t know.” Magnus said because, in the last six years. He hadn’t thought of much else. “At first I thought it was a joke, or scam.” Watching Alexander listening to intensely. It was a weird feeling, because Magnus wasn’t use to someone listening like this. Not even his friends did, but that may have been they knew more of his past than what Alexander did.

“But here I am, today on major magazine brands, and so on.” He chuckled, “I mean if you’d asked my sixteen year old self if this was where I saw myself now,” Magnus shrugged but went on saying, “I probably would’ve said you was crazy.” Thats was what Ragnor had actually said that the whole thing was crazy. It was especially when Camille had came up to them. “But if I was to try anything else now, it would be fashion itself.” He shrugged, he had his own flare. It wasn’t all too rare to see Magnus dressed in basically what he had worn last night. 

Magnus wasn’t sure if it was his looks that drawn Camille in or his actual fashion sense. Though, when Camille found him he was in between his gothic punk stage. The sad that was Ragnor had photos of the stage, and loved to rub them in. 

“Chinese is here!” They both chuckled. It was shocking how at ease both of them were with one another. “Come on before she sends the flash.” Alec smiled at Magnus at how he had mentioned Max. Relationships take effort, and it was something that both Alexander and himself would need to work on.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello world! I know this is sort of late but I was reading something about something and anyways. I do not own any of the characters, all rights of that belong to Cassandra Clare. Who was the brilliant lady that came up with the Shadowhunters and their world. 
> 
>  
> 
> If you see the word fashion week let me know I tried to edit most of that out after finding out that Spring Fashion week is in Febuaray and Fall Fashion week is in September.. XD so it’s all now Camille’s debut as a designer at least I hope. Mostly for this chapter. I’m already working on 32 ^.^ 
> 
> Anyways if you wanna tweet with me @CassiAnime or #sf2011 maybe #followmebyslyfighter2011 
> 
> Or find me on tumblr @mylifebecamemalecthings
> 
> ENJOY

Things after that Sunday with Magnus, three weeks ago. Life had somehow to sped up all too quickly. Between school, going back to therapy and group meetings. Graduation had all but snuck up on Alec, and he was sort of freaking out over it. It just wasn’t that he was freaking out about, Magnus and himself hadn’t got to spend more than texting each other in the last few weeks. Because Magnus too was just as busy as Alec had been. 

Something about a fashion.. Izzy and Magnus both had tried explaining it to him, but it still left him rather lost.. Alec just didn’t quite understand why they called it a catwalk or why there was fashion shows. None of it made sense to him. But they all knew that Alec was helpless with fashion, a ratty old shirt and a pair of jeans Alec was happy with that. 

Which was something that Alec was wearing right now, though he was sure that Iz would probably have a problem with it. Magnus didn’t mind all that much, what he wore—but Magnus wanted him to add more color to his wardrobe. Somehow with everything going on lately, the promise of shopping with Magnus and Iz had been pushed. Which was something Alec was happy about, but he was missing Magnus. 

They hadn’t been able to see each other face to face since three weeks ago. Between texts and video-chatting, that had been the only actual contact that they had in the last few weeks.

It was somewhat taxing on Alec, which was why he was seeing his therapist, Underhill twice a week. Maryse had also found about a week or so after what he’d done. Which left him with an hour lecture about why he had stopped going in the first place. Just applying more pressure from her,  _ to be  _ her  _ perfect  _ son. It had been that and how she’d set him up for an intern job at her firm. Which meant he’d have no summer to himself or time for Magnus. Alec did have a life too, which was something that had been nonexistent before Magnus, not that his parents knew of Magnus anyway.

Alec was sure that Robert, his—their father knew about what he’d done as well. So, Alec had prepared himself for what would be another lecture, from someone that didn’t understand. Especially from someone that didn’t understand his problems. Most of his problems were linked to both his parents. Because of their need to see him he perfect all of the time, and when he wasn’t they called him on it. 

Daydreaming about Magnus was something Alec had been doing a lot of the last few days. Magnus was busy, especially preparing for Camille’s fashion debut as a designer. Anytime, Alec did get to video-chat with Magnus in the last week. He was decked out in makeup, much like Magnus’ normal type of how he’d wear it. There’s been this one video call, yesterday. Magnus looked like a god, and it had Alec drooling and staring. More than he was listening to Magnus. It wasn’t his fault that he found Magnus as gorgeous as he was. 

It was when his phone began ringing, it shocked him a little as the only person that ever really called his phone was his mother. When it broke Alec from his daydream of Magnus, and seeing his phone said Magnus. It—well made Alec sort of giddy. As much as Alec knew that he needed to study for his history final, he’d much rather talk to Magnus. It was just odd for Magnus to call instead of video chatting with him. “Hey!” It was Magnus who must’ve had him on speakerphone. That was because he seemed far away, “hey.” Alec replied back, he wasn’t comfortable talking this way. Especially when Alec was normally on the other end of a lecture from his mother. 

“Is something wrong?” Alec asked, feeling sort of nervous. It was just phone calls weren’t exactly something Alec was used to. Mainly, it was his mother calling him about one that or another; looking for some fault to lecture him on usually. Or to be a better example for Izzy, Jace and Max. It also wasn’t like Magnus knew that really, but Magnus usually didn’t phone call him. It was usually text and as of late video chats, that were usually done late if his mother had seen fit to come home from her office. Which hadn’t been that often since Robert—their father was due back. 

“No darling, just bored and they have me in the makeup chair, couldn’t really hold the phone and video chat too.” Magnus chuckled lightly. “But I was wondering what you was doing this evening tho.” Alec perked at what Magnus was asking, was he going to see his boyfriend in person? Something that was long overdue. “Just studying more than likely, why?” Alec asked hoping that why Magnus was asking that he’d get to see him. As in the last three weeks it had only been video chats and texting. His history final and then an English project were the last things that Alec had to do for school before he graduated. 

“How about a break at my place?” Alec could hear the curiosity in Magnus’ voice. Alec hadn’t been to Magnus’ apartment, but Magnus had been to his home. “Really? It’s just the last time we tried making plans in the last week, you got stuck at a fitting.” Alec trailed off, biting his lip waiting for Magnus to answer. Yes, he was being jealous over Magnus’ job. But let’s be frank—Magnus and millions ogling him and Alec wanted Magnus all to himself. “Alexander, I promise this isn't like a week or so ago. Most of the fitting and such are done, it’s mostly now finishing the looks for the catwalks.” Magnus had a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. To Magnus he found that he liked the jealous side of Alexander. Not that he said anything, but Magnus also knew that Alexander followed him on Twitter and instagram. 

“Just come over, pleeeease. I know you have at least one last final and your project. But pleeease.” Magnus was begging, “it won’t just be us, my best friends will be there too.” He smiled, maybe Alec would relax on that fact. It wasn’t as if Magnus lived alone, he shared his place with Ragnor and Catarina. Which Alexander had yet to meet, but knew a little about both of them. “Okay, text me the address.” He sighed and smiled at the same time. Though Alec was feeling nervous over meeting Magnus friends. Alec understood that these were pretty much Magnus’ family, much like Izzy, Jace and Max were to him. “Okay, I will I should be done here at like six.” Alec took his phone away from his ear to see the time, “Well it’s four now, so in two hours you’ll be down right?” He asked to make sure that, that was what he was understanding. “That’s right, probably more an hour and a half, at most.” Magnus said, “Okay, see you then..” Alec said, which he bit his lip.. Stopping himself from saying something to early.    
  


They’d only been together less than a month, there was no way Alec was already in love with Magnus. It scared him, to think he was already in love with Magnus and this would be the first time they’d seen each other since the Sunday after their first date. The one that horribly gone wrong, which the both said they’d have a redo. Which had yet to happen, with as busy as the both were. It was a Wednesday evening, and his final wasn’t until Friday, the project was mostly finished and he’d present it on Monday of next week. Then graduation was at the end of that week. 

Everything felt really surreal at the moment. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was possibly a tab bit boring.. and took longer to write lol.. and I was playing with ideas. If you ever feel like suggesting me something don’t hesitate I’ll try to find away to make it work. Lol.. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment or a kudos and I appreciate them a lot. <3


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait.. I have this idea for another story.. and I’ve been playing with it XD. 
> 
> Again this one is a bit short... sorry!! 
> 
> Please enjoy.

With the last few weeks of prepping for Camille’s fashion show. Which Magnus knew how much work had gone into her line. You didn’t work six years as a model and  _ not _ know that. Magnus had finally found out  _ this  _ was why Imasu was there. It still had him on edge, they’d had an off and on relationship for years. Mostly off than it was on, but feelings were there for them both for different reasons. Magnus had moved past most of what he  _ thought  _ he felt for Imasu in last year.. That was mostly as things had ended badly. 

Imasu had always wanted more than what Magnus wanted to give, or when Magnus did then Imasu didn’t. That was why their relationship had always been on and off, and usually when Imasu was in the states was why their relationship was on. This was something Magnus was not so much hiding from Alexander, but Magnus had already told Imasu that he wasn’t interested in renewing their previous relationship. Though Imasu had back off, but was coming on strong again.. Mostly as they’d been spending a lot of time together. As they were getting ready for the show that would be the following Saturday. 

Most of the prep now was basically completed, all was left was finishing up all the final looks. Which was what Magnus was doing when he’d called Alexander, and invited him to hang out. They had hardly seen each other in the last three weeks, and their plan a week ago and fallen through because of a scheduling issue that Camille had forgotten to tell him. That was supposed to be their make up date, where the other had been ruined. Then Alexander got busy with finals, he had one nearly every other day. That date was suppose to be a second first date, but it would really be a second date. Even though it didn’t get to happen, but Magnus wanted Alexander too meet the people he considered family. 

That was Ragnor, Catarina, and Raphael, but getting Raphael to be friendly to anyone he didn’t actual know.. Then again Raphael would also spend the whole night telling embarrassing stories and Ragnor would join him. Maybe having Alec meet Raphael and Ragnor wouldn’t be the best idea, that he had. Maybe Cat could help keep those two in line, though Magnus doubted that. 

He was getting impatient as it was getting a quarter till five, and Magnus had told Alexander a half hour at most that he’d still be here. Because Magnus thought he wouldn’t be pushing it getting home, and changed into something clearly more him. Camille had great taste yes, but some of her newer things he’d been modeling wasn’t something that exactly appealed to him personally. They were still stunning, just not something he’d persay wear himself. Not that Magnus would tell his boss and Manager that.

This had been a goal that Camille had been working on for years, which Magnus knew that. He’d been with her since the beginning, when she choose to do her own line. “How do I look?” Magnus heard someone from behind him ask. It was Imasu, an inner silent groan happened. “You look amazing, darling.” Magnus said as he looked from the mirror. It seemed that Imasu was getting his final fittings done. Imasu was wearing a fitting top the grabbed him in sinful places. The shirt made Imasu’s arms look twice the size they were, and his tanned skin made the pale blue silk shirt pop. 

Imasu indeed looked amazing, that much was for sure. Magnus could understand why Camille wanted Imasu in the show. There history outside of work, didn’t belong here. He was with Alexander, and there was something about the boy that Magnus didn’t quite understand. Maybe that was the appeal of Alexander for Magnus. “Magnus, you are good to go.” The makeup artist said, “Camille approved.” He was silently jumping for joy. That meant he could leave now, and it was barely five o’clock now. 

Maybe it was just luck today? Either way Magnus was not complaining, it meant he would actually have time to spend with Alexander. Something that hadn’t happened in weeks. Magnus hadn’t even got to spend much time with anyone. Which was another reason Magnus was wanting Alexander to meet them all. As Magnus was excited, he knew that he needed to get going if he wanted to have anytime himself to get cleaned up and presentable for Alexander. 

_ Alexander❤️ _

_ Address? _

_ Crap!!  _ As his mind exploded. How had he forgotten to text Alexander his address. Why it had happened was because of the makeup artist had finished up his makeup caused him to forget. Which Magnus was mentally kicking himself for as he sent a text back apologizing profusely. How could he forget to text him that. This was shaping up to being an okay day, something good would happen, then bad.. Like Imasu, fishing for a compliment from him. Him able to leave at a decent hour. Magnus could list all the things that had happened today, but he needed to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha So I’m getting my motivation!! Back!! I also like I said have been toying with some other ideas for stories! One you may see up shortly after this one.

Why was he so nervous?! His heart was pounding, like it was the first time that Alec was actually meeting Magnus. It wasn’t like it was in the club, no. It was more like when Alec had noticed Magnus sitting in Shade. It caused his heart to beat uncontrollably. Which that was something that his heart was doing. It didn’t help that Alec was about fifteen minutes late due to traffic, which he’d texted Magnus about. 

From outside the door Alec could heart laughing, and one of those laughs was Magnus’. Again why was he so nervous? Had Magnus felt like this? When Magnus had met Izzy, Max and Jace? If so it hadn’t shown. Though that was also during the misunderstand that Alec had read completely wrong, and freaked out himself. Magnus was this—basically a celebrity in Alec’s eyes. Which being a model made you a celebrity? Didn’t it?  He didn’t pay much attention to  _ that  _ sort of thing. He wasn’t Izzy, who followed nearly all that he could think of. Which wasn’t many, at all.

Without really realizing it Alec had found himself pacing lightly outside of Magnus’ door. What was he doing?! Why did he have to feel so anxious right now? This wasn’t something actually Alec was use to doing, or even at all actual. It wasn’t like Alec spent much time with others he didn’t know. Lydia and him had been joined at the hip since they were in diapers, and Jace had been later. It was sort of the same concept. It just Alec was nervous, and he always had trouble relaxing with those he didn’t know. 

This was exactly how he acted at any big promotional stunt that his father did. Which only about an hour after getting off with Magnus. Was when Robert Lightwood had returned home. It was in the mists of his studying. For his last final, which was history. It seemed to be that his father was using  _ his  _ Graduation as a chance to throw a huge gala in his honor. Which meant, something else entirely, and Alec knew that. This had Alec stressed before he’d came over here. It was Magnus who asked and here he was. 

_ M _ :

_ Are you coming? _

How long had he been out here? Fuck! It was six thirty.. He had been out here this long?! Why was he being so stupid. Yes! He was coming. Hell he’d been outside working up the courage to even knock for the last twenty to thirty minutes. An inward groan at himself, Izzy would’ve told him he was overthinking this. Which Alec could agree he was. Sending a text that told Magnus he was here, leaving out the bit that he’d been here forever.. “Darling?” Magnus was a breath of fresh air for Alec. “Come on in.” Magnus reached for Alexander’s hand to pull him into his place. 

“Everything okay?” Alec nodded looking at his hands as he was twisting them around. He really shouldn’t be this nervous. Sure this was the first time in weeks that Magnus and himself had been face to face. “Just a-ah got stuck in traffic..” he lied, it was true he lied. Alec didn’t know what else to do.. Well besides tell the truth? That he was a nervous wreck? That he’d been standing outside the door for twenty minutes. If not longer. What was he going to do with himself? Probably put his foot in his mouth, that was something Alec was good at. Maybe he should’ve drug Izzy along with him. No, she’d finally gotten mom to let her attend a concerts of Simon’s, and Jace and probably some girl would be over watching Max. 

Watching Magnus nodded, it made his heart drop into his stomach. “Wait..” Alec grabbed Magnus’ arm pulling him back. They hadn’t been this close since before this first date. Hell they hadn’t even kissed since the second time they’d met. Alec’s whole head had gone completely fuzzy. His nervous hadn’t completely subsided, just new ones had made its way to the surface. They were standing in the foyer of Magnus’ apartment, but Alec knew that Magnus didn’t live here alone. He had roommates, the very ones Alec would be meeting tonight. The only thing really that Alec knew about these people were their names. As Magnus hadn’t really said much else.

Alec could hear Magnus friends in the other room. They were laughing about something, and the only thing Alec really cared about was having Magnus this close to him. Their eyes had been locked since Alec had grabbed onto Magnus’ arm. Trying to gain some kind of sense of what he should be doing. His head was fuzzy, he was next to Magnus. There was no clear definition of what Magnus and he was. It was slightly frustrating, because Alec didn’t know how Magnus would introduce him as. 

It had been Magnus that closed the gap between the two of them. Stepping closer had caused Alexander to gasp, not so much expecting it on Alec’s part. Both their eyes half lipped, as Magnus bowed his head pressing his lips to Alexander’s. If Alec’s head wasn’t foggy or fuzzy before now it sure was beyond that now. “ _ Dios _ ! Get a room for that!” It was someone Alec didn’t know, which caused him to jump away from Magnus.

It was Magnus that spoke, “Well Raphael, we did indeed have a room until you barged in.” Alec was blushing brightly. He could still feel Magnus’ lips tingling against his own. Alec was awkward and shy, and it was a given for him to be. There were only a handful of people Alec didn’t know, but he always got this way. “Come on Alexander.” Magnus grabbed his hand linking it with his own.

His eyes were wide at how open Magnus’ place was. The living room and kitchen opened up into each other. It was much like how his family's apartment was, but maybe not on such a grand scale. “Well everyone this is Alexander, he prefers Alec.” His heart stopped, wondering again what they exactly were. There was no need to label it, Magnus knew he was in the closet? Was that why, he didn’t tell his friends. Even though the one that just witnessed them kissing. “Oh he’s much better looking than Imasu?!” Ragnor had exclaimed. Who was Imasu? 

Confusion wracked over Alec, it was easy enough to see that on his face. “Darling ignore them, they have big mouths.” Wait was that suppose mean? It only left him far more confused. “Can I get you a drink.” It—wait Alec knew this. It was Catarina, “Water would be just fine, Cat? It’s Cat right?” When she nodded it was a relief for Alec. Even though Alec had a blush on his face. He wasn’t made for social gathering, that much Alec had learned from his father’s parties with his work. 

“Here you go Alec.” Cat had smiled at him, “Thank you,” Alec gave a light smile back. Magnus had left him to pull Ragnor off into a another room. Wasn’t completely sure as to why. “Relax, none of us bite..” Even thought her eyes cast over to Raphael. Whose tongue was far worse than his bite could ever be. “Well, I can’t say for all.” She chuckled into her hand, and Raphael had cast a glare at her. Not that Alec had any type of understand of what was going on. Magnus had left him alone with people he didn’t know. “Alright my darlings! And  _ cabbage _ .” Alec watched Magnus stroll back in, as he cast his eyes back at Ragnor? That was Ragnor. Who seemed like he’d just gotten way laid(what I mean is he got laid into by Magnus), but Alec wasn’t going to question it. 

Alec didn’t know anyone here but Magnus, he knew most of the relationships for Magnus between them. Like Ragnor and Cat they were his childhood friends, and Raphael.. Okay, so he couldn’t remember them all. He didn’t know all of these relationships were important to Magnus. Even if they still hardly knew much about each other. That wasn’t all that true, Magnus knew things about him no one else knew besides his family and those in the groups he attended. Alec knew nothing about Magnus besides what he’d read online, and that wasn’t a whole lot. Plus you couldn’t always rely on what the internet told you anyways. “How about a movie? Or games? Which would you like darling?” Magnus had all but sat down at this point next to the silent Alec. 

Meeting new people wasn’t something Alec knew how to do. He usually clammed up, much like how he was. “Eith-er is good.” Movie would be better, he wouldn’t be expected so socialite. Knowing that his therapist would be telling him that being so closed off wasn’t good for him. “Let’s play a game.” That was because Alec would isolate himself from his other peers. Besides those that he already knew, like Izzy, Jace and Lydia. While this was awkward and would only continue to be, until he was relaxed enough. Even though this could take a bit of time. Alec as determined to try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh this chapter has been a pain only cause I wasn’t sure what to do.. and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to do all the characters at once XD with encouragement from Katychan666 who said I could.. hopefully I did these character justice and their only a little OOC. 
> 
> Feel free to tweet your reactions with me via to my Twitter @CassiAnime or with the hashtag #followmebyslyfighter2011  
> Also feel free to follow me on tumblr @mylifebecamemalecthings

“What about darts?” Magnus spoke up as his eyes wandered next to him before winking. They had never finished the game at The Wicked Monk. There wasn’t away for them to play in teams anyway, should they play darts. They could’ve played singles. But where was the fun in that? There wasn’t much fun in all that, “No, you cheat.” Said Raphael, even before Alec could say a word. It seemed to Alec that Magnus wasn’t the only one he’d cheated with. At a game that was, but it had been more or less the flirting with Magnus that had distracted Alec. “I do not cheat!” Everyone around them was nodding in agreement with Raphael, which caused Alec to snicker. 

“If you don’t then I’m  _ nice _ .” Raphael stated as he placed his hand on Magnus shoulder, who was looking shocked at everyone. Like he couldn’t believe his family. “You don’t think I cheat do you Alexander?” Magnus had turned towards him batting his eyelashes. Way to put him on spot, huh Magnus. “I wouldn’t know we never finished our game..” That had been mostly his own fault, because during the break they took the misunderstanding had happened. Alec looked away from Magnus’ gaze sheepishly with a flush of embarrassment playing on his cheeks. 

Magnus had really put him on spot there, his heart was beating wildly. Alec didn’t really know what to do here. It was a social setting, something Alec wasn’t all that common with. Especially with people he didn’t know much about, or at all really. What Alec did know was from what Magnus had told him. “What other games do you have then?” Alec asked quite innocently, and everyone else had seemed to groan. Though Magnus’ eyes gleamed like cat eyes that had just gotten it’s cream. That was when everyone else groaned, mostly Ragnor very loudly, “You have no idea what you’ve done.” It was safe to say that Alec was confused as Magnus jumped up clapping his hands before taking off somewhere. 

There was plenty that Alec didn’t know about his boyfriend? They were boyfriends right? How come they still hadn’t exactly put a label on whatever they were? Or had they? There had been far too much stuff going on in the last few weeks to remember what happened a month ago. Well, besides returning to group therapy and seeing Underhill. After the whole thing with Magnus that had lead to his major repalse. Magnus knew his darkest part of himself, but Alec still hardly knew anything about Magnus. They needed to remedy that, once graduation was over—if it was possible. Especially with what his parents wanted him to do, for his summer. Which was intern for his father—wait or was it his mother. Alec couldn’t remember, having got lost in his head.. “Wait? What do you me—?” Alec had started to say before he saw Magnus with a tower of games. 

Which when Alec had made eye contact with Ragnor, all he’d done was roll his eyes and tilt his drink back. Like it was some big ‘I Told You So.’ Well tonight seemed to be a night to be learning more about Magnus, and other than seeing all of the games that his  _ boyfriend _ was carrying. Alec would’ve never pegged Magnus for being a board game enthusiast. There were so many games, and from the looks of Raphael, Cat, and Ragnor.. Alec assumed that Magnus had more. “Wow.” Was all Alec had somehow managed to get out of his mouth.

There were at least fifteen board games here, how had Magnus managed to carry them all without dropping any? Maybe his grace as a model? Or something like that right? That had to be it. These were the rush of thoughts Alec was having. “Could I get some help?” Magnus whined as now some of the boxes began to slide on him. It was clear to Alec no one else was gonna help, so he jumped up and took five of the games and placed them on the couch Alec had been sitting on. “Thank you darling.” Magnus smiled softly at Alec, which caused Alexander to blush. “See any games you might wanna play?” Alec looked up at Magnus his blush bright on his cheeks yet. “If not I have more…” Magnus trailed off as he saw the expression on Alec’s face. Which his hand covered Magnus’ mouth as he was now fighting to keep from laughing at look Alexander had. 

“ _God_ _!”  _ Raphael exclaimed, “We came here to get to know him, and hang out.” Who pointed at Alec, who was now twice the shade of red he was a few moments ago. “Not witness  _ this _ .” Gesturing at the display of affection that was going on between Magnus and himself.. “So pick a game, chop chop.” Raphael didn’t have all evening for this. With his face as red as a tomato, if not redder. Alec looked through the games. There were many games that he knew, and there were many in the pile of fifteen that Alec didn’t know or hadn’t played.

There was Pictionary, Risk, Monopoly, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Jenga, Twister(Alec blushes), Clue, The Game of Life, Yahtzee, Uno(even tho technically not a board game), Cards Against Humanity, Pie Face (Raphael hates this one), and there were two he hadn’t ever heard of. Magnus even said he had more? How many did Magnus actual have. “Are we going to play something?” Cat asked fighting back a yawn, she needed to get to bed soon. Mainly because she had an early shift and it wasn’t late enough to worry, but she still had to be up early. “Yes, Cat. We will, let Alexander pick something first.” Magnus smiled nonchalantly at Cat, even though apart of him was bouncing up and down. 

That was basically because every game that Magnus had picked he’d won. Which drove his friends crazy. Especially the time that Raphael had flipped the Monopoly board during the game. That had been funny, only because Magnus had been goading him. Raphael also refused to play Pie Face, but only because he didn’t understand the appeal of the game. It was supposed to be fun, and funny. Raphael didn’t think that it was either. “How about Cards Against Humanity?” Alec spoke up, curious how to actually play. 

“Boy, I like you already!” Ragnor grinned, which had him slightly confused. “Only because you know it’s my weakest game.” Magnus glared at Ragnor. “Oh quit being such a sore loser when the game hasn’t started yet.” Watching the banter between the two. “Alec, have you ever played?” Magnus asked, as he was moving the other games from the coffee table, and the couch to the floor. Alexander shook his head, “It’s pretty easy.” He smiled light at Alec. Magnus explained how to play, which Alec agreed it was pretty easy. Some of what these black cars where, a—weird but he thought that was the point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh! Sorry about the delay! I know everyone wanted to see them playing CAH but sometimes things don’t always go the way we want. I spent days trying to come up with something for this story, but I think this chapter you may like or not don’t know until you read it..
> 
> Warning slight smut ahead 
> 
> Please feel welcome to tweet with me on twitter via @CassiAnime or #followmebyslyfighter2011 I’d love to (see)hear(read) your reactions! Or you can follow me on tumblr @mylifebecamemalecthings

After the awkward, yet oddly fun and wonderful evening that Alec had with Magnus and getting to know what was Magnus’ family. It left him feeling more put together the following morning, refreshed him even. It gave him a feeling of being rejuvenated, enough to squeeze in some more studying time before his  _ final _ final. Which was his history final, a subject Alec wasn’t too keen on. Which had been the reason Alec had been so tense about it. He hadn’t been the only student frantically studying. That was because Alec understood the want to pass, the  _ want  _ to graduate. He also knew that one grade could stand between him or anyone else graduating. 

The last thing that Alec had to do of his school career as a High school student was, doing the one that he was afraid of. That was speaking in public, hoping that he’d get a decent passing grade was an understatement on his part. Public speaking, was something that Alec stammered over in front of his whole class in the last four years. Why would this be any different? Yet, somehow he managed through it and got a B. Which he was so thankful for. While he had tripped over some of his speech he had written, mostly because he was self-conscious of himself. It didn’t help that some of those people had been whispering to one another. Kind of making himself worry into thinking they were talking about him, or something.

It had been a  _ long _ day, it had been his  _ last _ full day as a high school student. He graduated tomorrow, and that was a little scary for himself. To know that this would be the last time he’d step into this school as a student. It was sort of surreal. He bit his lip, he was thinking about Magnus. Pretty much wondering if the man was busy. Alec knew that he could leave the school early, since he was well done. There was no real ties keeping him there, at least other than getting his diploma the following evening. 

He knew that he wanted to spend time with Magnus, so Alec shot a text pretty much asking if Magnus was busy. He also knew that they’d been dating, about a month? Even if they’d never officially talked about actually being official to each other. Alec knew it had been maybe closer to two months of knowing one another, but still. 

_ M:  _

_Not_ _really why?_

Was what had Magnus replied with, and it had made Alec giddy. Thankful, that maybe Magnus had gotten an off day. He knew that the man had a fashion show coming up as well, Alec wanted to ask Magnus to come to his graduation.. But, how? Alec wasn’t  _ out _ , and it was something Magnus understood. He could ask Magnus to come as a friend, but it also wasn’t that fair. Alec texted the man back, asking if he wanted to come over to his home. Alec knew that he’d have the whole place pretty much to himself, since Iz, Jace and Max were all still at school for a couple more hours. 

There hadn’t been any just one on one time between them since before their first very awkward date. That had only turned awkward because of how he reacted to telling Magnus he was a high school student. He was hoping to spend some alone time with Magnus, just them. Without hopefully Alec making a mess of things again, this time. 

A bitter laugh erupted through him, as he thought about that evening. Alec had the scar to remember it by. Instead of having Magnus come over, Alec knew that he should hit up one of the groups that might be happening right now. Expect Alec didn’t want too, he’d been doing well with everything given the emotional turmoil of high school ending. Alec sent a text back to Magnus seeing if he wanted to come over, and hoping Magnus would want too. It was odd to have himself feeling this brave, whatever came over him—it was different. 

_ M:  _

_ Sure! Be there soon _

The text made Alec was grinning wildly, almost causing him to forget that he was still standing outside of his school. He had no idea where in New York Magnus was, or how long it would take him to get there. So, that meant he needed to get back home just as quickly. It was only what like noon, or so. It was odd being done with school so early. Plus Alec also knew that Izzy and Jace had plans after school and Max had karate. That meant Alec had the apartment to himself, which was actually pretty rare. He knew that his parents were both at their own jobs, and didn’t figure that he’d see them until late that evening.

Luckily enough Alec didn’t have a far walk from his home to school. It would’ve been quicker to catch a taxi, but it was far too pretty out to pass up walking. The walk was only two blocks, and passed pretty quick. Alec was somewhere caught in his thoughts, when he was just outside his building. “Alexander!” A brilliant smile broke out on Alec’s face. There was only one person that called Alec that, that could have this type of reaction for him. When his parents called him that it made him feel disgusted with himself. It wasn’t until Magnus, that he had even actually liked his full name. Alec had been something Izzy had called him since she was little, because she couldn’t say Alexander no matter the times their parents had corrected her. She had stuck with calling him Alec, it wasn’t that he minded at all.

“Magnus!” Alec said enveloping Magnus with his long arms into a hug outside. “You just get here?” Alec asked, which received a nod from Magnus. Who seemed to be sniffing him. “Do I smell bad, or something?” He asked cause he was feeling a little self-conscious now. Alec hoped that he didn’t smell bad, mainly because he’d just done his public speaking things for English. Maybe Alec sweated too much or something.. And now he stunk or something. “Worry not darling, you smell fantastic.” Was what Magnus had said, which made Alec bite back a giggle that was trying to escape his throat.

“Come on.” Alec blushed lightly as he broke away from the embrace. Letting his fingers trail down the length of Magnus arm, when he’d released him before twining his fingers with Magnus. Alec gripped his boyfriend’s hand pulling him towards the door. Alec had nearly forgotten where he was, and he knew that there were many people around that knew his parents. But it didn’t really seem to bother him, he was with Magnus. Magnus made everything seem better for himself, at least that was how Alec felt. 

It was once they were in the elevator, did a grin break out again on Alec’s face. Feeling bolder than normal which seemed to catch Magnus by surprise as much as it had himself. Pulling Magnus to him, he placed a kiss on Magnus lips. “Alexander.” A moan had passed Magnus lips and the sound of it had gone straight down to his groin. His heart was hammering in his chest, as he pulled Magnus tighter to him. They had about a moment more before the doors would open onto his floor, and Alec was going to enjoy that slow moment. He hadn’t ever really kissed anyone before Magnus. Well besides the very awkward kiss that Lydia and himself had shared years ago. 

It was just Alec had watched enough adult entertainment movies, to get an idea for kissing.. Even if he hadn’t performed a kiss on anyone other than Magnus really. Those first few kisses that they’d had in the park, they’d been sweet and far more innocent-like. This was more Alec trying to deepen the kiss by running his tongue over Magnus lips. When a shiver and gasp happened, Alec took that moment to slid his tongue into the warm cavern of Magnus’ mouth. It was pure heaven almost to Alec. There was a ding, Alec almost didn’t hear it until the doors made the elevator jar a little. “We’re here.” Alec pulled back Watching Magnus whimper slightly. He understood what Magnus felt like, he wanted to kiss those already slightly swollen lips again. 

“What’s gotten into you darling?” Magnus asked, “Not that I’m complaining.” They’d held hands twined together up to Alec’s door. Alec hadn’t responded yet, as he’d placed his key into the door and unlocked it. “Officially I’m no longer a high school student.” Alec grinned before pushing another kiss onto Magnus lips after pulling him into the apartment. Pulling back once more, “And no one else is here.” A shit eating grin played heavily on Alec’s features. Almost everything at this point was something or another that Alec seen from a porno. Maybe not as raunchy, or as streamy. Maybe it was slightly more awkward, as Alec was trying not to remind himself. That this was his first time, period. Yes, Alec was a virgin. It wasn’t so much as a rush to lose it. It was more of he just wanted this with Magnus. Why he did, after only knowing each other as short as they had. It just felt so much more. Liked they’d always known each other. 

It was just something Alec couldn’t understand, but it was how he felt. All he could do was hope that Magnus felt the same as well. Even though there had never been an official conversation between the two of them. As far as being exclusive, he wanted to feel like they were. It ate at him a little that they weren’t, but he could be okay with it. It wasn’t like he was out of his closest to but a few people. None of those people being his parents, there would be no way in hell. That they’d understand, that much had already been made pretty clear. “Oh really?” Magnus responded to hearing no one else was there but them, “So that means I can have my wicked ways with you.” Alec nodded slowly gulping as Magnus had said that.

His eyes were transfixed on Magnus, who was at the moment pushed against the door. “Maybe we should get acquainted with your bedroom.” Alec had almost melted as he listened to Magnus pur against the side of his neck. Lazily kisses being pressed against the sensitive skin. “You’re not being fair.” A shiver ran throughout Alec’s body that caused him to step back from Magnus. There was a throb in his pants and instantly made Alec feel shy, and a deep blush awaken on his face that went down his neck. “I believe it’s this way right?” A cat-like grin broke out on Magnus’ face, as he watched Alec only nod. It was like Alec could say much else as he was feeling slightly embarrassed now.

Magnus had twined their fingers again as he lead them towards Alec’s bedroom. “This one right?” A grunt was all Alec could manage as Magnus asked. “Awfully quiet when the siblings aren’t around, huh?” Magnus said, and Alec absentmindedly nodded watching Magnus’s hips sway. They were some sort of trance for himself, it was magical. Magnus pulled himself deeper into his own bedroom. “Enjoying the view?” Magnus asked, and Alec’s eyes wandered back up to see Magnus standing before him.

“Of course.” Alec breathlessly, it was true that Alec was indeed enjoying the view of Magnus before him. While they both were still very much clothed, it didn’t stop Alec from enjoyed Magnus beauty. Because the man was truly that beautiful. Stepping closer to Magnus, feeling a bit brave. Alec moved against Magnus so that he’d be lodge between Alec and his desk. “Oh so you wanna play teacher?” Magnus moved close against Alec, his lips against the shell of Alec’s ear. Which caused Alec to shudder just enough. “Or you the naughty school boy that needs punished by teacher..”A shiver ran down Alec as Magnus tongue flicked against Alec’s ear. 

There wasn’t anything actually holding Alec back, he pulled back a little and dove his lips onto Magnus’. The kiss was searing, powerful, greedy and altogether it was so much more. When Alec felt Magnus running his own tongues against Alec’s lips, he gasped at the sinsention that welcomed Magnus’ tongue into his own mouth. Alec hands began to roam under the trim of Magnus’ shirt. He could feel just how firm Magnus’ body was just from barely feeling him. His own heart was racing so fast, besides the dance of kisses between himself and Magnus, he hadn’t realized he began tugging Magnus’ shirt up over his head. 

When Magnus managed to pull his off as well, they’d somehow found themselves on top of his bed. Alec was looking up at Magnus, who was grinning rather wildly at him. His eyes were blown just as much as Alec’s were. Magnus ran his hand over Alec’s pecs, pulling lightly at his chest hair. Which caused Alec to wither and moan under the manipulation. Remembering something Alec had seen once in a video, his hands ran over Magnus’ chest before he took his forefinger and thumb and slightly pinching at Magnus’ nipple. It caused the man to gasp, and thrust down onto Alec’s own crotch brushed against Magnus’ clothed one too. 

It was almost like seeing stars, but only seeing the darkness before the lite up the sky. It made him try again thrusting up against, it made his mind spark to how it would feel if the clothes were in the way. 

Little to unaware of Magnus or Alec both, Maryse Lightwood was just outside the apartment door. She hadn’t been expected home as soon as one in the afternoon, but she’d needed a new suit as one of her clients.. Well they’d thought it would be good enough to throw up on her, as they were withdrawing from some sort of drug. She suspected heroin, but couldn’t be all that sure. The client had known drug charges against him anyways, but he was her only witness to a murder. 

When she walked into the apartment to hear whines, moans and other pleasurable sounds. It had her confused, her children shouldn’t be home. Well unless you was Jace that tended to skip school for these types of activities. What shocked her was when she had come up the stairs and they were coming from Alec’s room instead of Jace’s. Curiosity made her wonder if Lydia was in the room with Alec. She knew how modest her eldest son could be about their relationship. Always having said they were nothing more than friends, and wouldn’t be anything more than that. But she saw how Alec looked at Lydia, all they needed was a push to get things going, maybe this was that? Or it had happened at some other point? She didn’t know she pushed the door open quietly, just to see. But what she saw sickened her, who was that? She had forgotten about her suit or needing a shower. Why was there a man on top of her son!? Why was her Alexander moaning? 

There was no way her son was was  _ gay.  _ “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!” She demanded to know, watching her son’s face lose all the color it had when his eyes landed on her. Alec had pushed Magnus off of him onto the side of the bed. He was frozen unsure of even what to do here.. Why was this happening to him now?! 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings!   
> Homophobic slurs, in at least this chapter but I think I also put a tag cause I’m sure they’ll be more in the future chapters possibly. 
> 
> Anyways! Please tweet me your reactions! With @CassiAnime or #followmebyslyfighter2011 and you can also follow me on tumblr @mylifebecamemalecthings
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy this!

_ So this was Alexander’s mother.  _ It was the first thought that crossed Magnus’ mind. Especially after Alec pushed him off so quickly. It frightened him a little to think that he might have done something wrong. No, just the opposite. Alexander’s mother had caught them. Even though Alexander said they’d have the whole place to themselves. While he was confused, his eyes wandered over to see Maryse Lightwood. Standing quite proudly, in an Elie Tahari suit. It hugged her in all of the right places. Alexander’s mother had good taste, it made him wonder where Alec got his dreaded fashion sense. 

His eyes had moved away from Maryse, looking more to the side of him. It was where Alec stood gaping like a fish out of water. His jaw hung open, as his brain seemed to be trying to work. Yet, you could see the level of shock on his  _ boyfriend’s  _ face. Magnus didn’t fully understand why Alec hadn’t came out yet, but he knew that it had something to do with his  _ parents _ . A coming out was something Magnus had never had to endure, and had no consequence because of it. 

It was that Magnus didn’t understand, if you loved  your son. Why should  _ who _ they loved matter, besides their happiness? “Well,  _ Alexander _ ? Explain yourself?” Was what Magnus heard Maryse say with venom. Magnus had been the source of homophobic slurs before. It hurt, but that was what you got when you had close minded people  _ still _ in this world. “Why were you doing that with that—that  _ fag?”  _ And there it was, Magnus knew it was coming. The words hurt, but he wouldn’t let them hurt him. He watched Alexander flinch as she’d said that. Alexander still hadn’t made an attempt to speak. 

He seemed frozen, like he couldn’t move. “Are you going to speak, you disgusting _fag?_ ” Another flinch happened and a slight whimper escaped Alexander. The woman standing in the doorway began to move forward into the room. Magnus could tell she was coming towards Alexander, not sure what she would do. Magnus stepped in front of Alexander, “ _Move_ _fag.”_ She demanded trying to push Magnus out of her away. “I will not move! You are wanting to hurt him! Because of what...” Magnus met with her eyes which were furious. “He’s gay?” Her eyes laid coldly onto his, “ _Yes_!” She hissed into his face. “So you’d abuse your son, because he’s different from you, and what you believe.” Magnus felt disgusted by this woman. She was a lawyer, and this was almost just a hate crime. Because what her son _was_ gay? Not that Alec had actually said it, but being caught with Magnus on top of him hadn’t mattered. 

“ _ Yes,  _ you fag! Not that you could understand it!” She spat getting just as upset with this infernal person, that her son was inflicted with. It  _ had _ to be this person’s fault. Her sweet boy wasn’t  _ gay _ , Alexander wasn’t anything like this man here. No, it was this person’s fault. It had to be, right? Was what Maryse was telling herself. “ _ Move _ !” She demanded again. She wanted to her  _ son _ , maybe make him see reason. That this glittery man wasn’t anything. Convince him about Lydia, that they would marry and everything would be clearer. “I won’t say it again,  _ fag.”  _ Maryse was emotional, that was clear. Her hand was raised to strike at Magnus this time.

“I will not!” Magnus yelled back at the woman, she would not get to Alexander. It wouldn’t have been the first time Magnus had been hit for his sexual orientation. He’d been mugged, and left for dead once. All because of how he looked, because he preferred makeup and his clothes. Magnus was probably seventeen, it had put a damper on his modeling career for about eight months to a year. That hadn’t stopped him, it wouldn’t stop him. This here being smacked by this woman wouldn’t stop him from  _ loving _ his Alexander either. The only person that would stop him would be Alexander himself. 

“Mother!  _ STOP _ !” Alexander grabbed his mother’s wrist. Even while Alec wasn’t sure what was going on, or what had really happened. Alec wasn’t about to let his mother hit Magnus. 

“Get  _ out _ !” She screamed, and Alec flinched. “Fine.” Alec grabbed his and Magnus’ shirts. “Come on.” His expression was much more cold than Magnus had ever seen it to be. Alec had reached out his hand for Magnus’. Magnus hesitated thinking that maybe that he should be the one to leave. Mainly so that Alec and his mother could talk, not that there would be much to talk about. It was just seeing Alexander so pale and lifeless, it had him worried. He had taken Alexander’s hand, and followed behind as Alec pulled him from his bedroom, and outside


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, another warning of horrible language. Please know I don’t condone any of the behavior that Maryse does in this! 
> 
> Also if you want you and tweet me your reactions on twitter by @CassiAnime or using #followmebyslyfighter2011. And you can also follow me on tumblr @mylifebecamemalecthinngs

When they’d just exited the apartment, it was no sooner than they’d entered the elevator Alec had handed Magnus a shirt. It wasn’t like Alec said anything, or began to apologize. There was almost not point in saying anything. The situation had all but spoke for itself. Silently cursing himself, like Alec hadn’t already thought he was. For choosing to believe that even for a moment that he could be  _ happy.  _ And  _ happy  _ for himself. No, it was more like he was the disgrace, _ that  _ Alec knew he was. It was the look. The shocking, cold and longing look of his mother’s face. It was chilling, but the words she spoke was something else entirely. 

His  _ mother _ started off calling Magnus, a  _ fag,  _ and moved onto him. That had been her choice of words, but Alec knew she knew more than  _ that  _ word. Alec had heard for more offense things come from her mouth, as had he heard his father say too. There was this bitter bubble of laughter lodged in his chest, it wasn’t so much a bubble.. It was all a trap of something, not that Alec could even begin to know what it was. 

There was the irony of out of everything, that was what his mother walked in on. His world felt very small. Everything felt clouded, even with the sun beaming into his eyes. Not that Alec bothered to look away. Maybe  _ this _ was God’s way of punishing him? The burn was familiar, not enough to brand him. Unlike the worlds that  _ his _ mother said, they haunted him in the back of his mind. There were horns honking at him, but his mind was elsewhere. It wasn’t where it needed to be, that was for sure. “ _ Alexander!”  _ Was it his mother? Did she come to scold him? The sound of his name registered with him, but the who hadn’t. Mostly looking through like Magnus was just a ghost there. His eyes laid coldly on Magnus not registering completely who he was with or where exactly they were. 

Somehow in that time, between living the building he  _ lived _ in to somehow arriving four blocks away. Shade, that was where he was. Forgetting who he was with? Was it Izzy? Maybe it was Lydia, they always came here. That was right he hadn’t shared this place with either Iz or Jace. Shade had and was his safe haven? Wasn’t it, especially when things were rough at home. Maybe that was why he hadn’t shared it with Izzy. It was because  _ this _ had been  _ that _ hiding place for him, from his parents. A safe place, but was it truly safe anymore? Since  _ she  _ knew—his  _ mother _ knew. 

His mind was so intently focused on what his mother saw. It was a side that Alec had been hiding for years, especially from her—from them. Shade had been a hiding place, a place he could invent himself. There was a straining silence lingering between Magnus and himself, as he stared into Shade. Wanting to go in there and pretend none of what happen, happened. Unaware to everything around him, it was almost like things were completely in slow motion. “Come on, darling.” Someone tugged on him, it sounded like Magnus? That’s right it was Magnus with him, it was Magnus. It had been Magnus Maryse caught him with, there was a gentle tug and pull into the taxi and it wasn’t as if Alec actually cared. He was too numb to deal with all of these emotions we was feeling. Huh 

His mind was so focused on that his mother saw the side, he’d been hiding for years now. There was a straining silence between Magnus and himself. They stood in front of Shade for another good while, he hadn’t even noticed Magnus flag a taxi down. Maryse found out, about that side of him, one he’d been hiding for years. “Come on Alexander.” Magnus gentle pulled him towards the taxi. 

******

During the taxi ride back to his place, Magnus had laid his hand on Alexander’s. Trying to comfort his  _ boyfriend _ . To know that Alexander wasn’t alone in wherever he was inside himself. Alexander looked much like he had that night of their first date. After having told Magnus, he was a high school student. Which Magnus might’ve reacted to a little poorly, but they’d worked that out in the end. It was just seeing Alexander like  _ this _ , it was breaking his heart. There had been a few times in his own life that he’d lived on auto-pilot. This other than that night at the Wicked Monk, was the first time he’d ever seen Alexander look as lifeless as he was sitting in the back of the taxi. 

Sure, Alexander saved him for getting hit by his mother. Which Magnus was thankful for, but after Alexander saved him— _ them _ . He’d mostly gone back to how he was back inside his room. Which was him on, what Magnus could guess what autopilot. His wrist still ached from how tight Alexander had held it. Almost like Alexander hadn’t realized, he’d been hollaring trying to get him to stop. It wasn’t like Alexander heard him, at least not until they’d gotten in front of Shade. Which was four blocks away from where Alexander lived. 

Now, here they were in the back of the taxi close to his own home. Which Magnus hoped that maybe Alexander would too see it as his own. Maybe. Their relationship was still fairly new, maybe not the best of times to move in. But, Magnus wanted Alexander to feel like he had a place there. Watching Alec stare out the window of the taxi was concerning.

Outside of his building now, Magnus moved away from Alexander. Magnus knew that he’d have to get Alexander out of the back of the taxi. “Come on, Alexander.” He hadn’t exactly saw the flinch Alec gave, but that was because after getting him out. Magnus paid the driver of the taxi, before he turned back around placing his arm around Alexander and moving him up the stairs.

That had been about an hour ago, Magnus stood in the kitchen looking for something to drink. Which wasn’t a lot, there wasn’t even really food in their fridge. Mainly because Ragnor, Cat and himself worked really odd hours and were hardly home. It was after getting Alexander upstairs into his loft, he’d sat Alec on the couch. It was there that Alexander had been staring lifelessly into a vast of nothing. 

With his boyfriend just staring out into nothing, it frightened him a little. Since having left the Lightwood resentince Magnus thought of texting Alexander’s siblings. Maybe they would know how to bring Alexander out of himself. Magnus wasn’t sure what to do, he was biting at his lip watching Alexander from across the room. It was then it dawn on Magnus just how little, he knew about his boyfriends history. At least not pertaining what had occurred back at his  _ home. _ Magnus knew enough as to way Alexander began—why he had the scars that Alexander had on his wrists and arms. Magnus had known at least about those. 

It was just when they were making out within Alexander’s bedroom. He’d witnessed some other scars the peppered Alec all over, now Magnus wasn’t sure if they were all self inflicted or not. Some of them seemed that way, some tracked up Alec’s sides. It made Magnus wonder what all Alexander had endured. Why he felt the need to cut so strongly. Was it all because of the pressure his parents put onto him? Always trying to please his parents? 

There were so many questions, that he had. But right now Magnus knew that he wouldn’t get any answers. He wasn’t sure how to help Alexander. Magnus also knew that he couldn’t leave Alec to his own devices either. Because what would happen if Magnus did? If he left Alec be by himself? Suffering god knows what? Magnus couldn’t imagine whatever Alexander was in his head. But his heart broke for  _ his  _ Alexander. Seeing Alexander like this instead of the sweet blushing boy, sitting so lifeless like… It was heartbreaking. 

With a couple of cups of  _ something,  _ Magnus wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Something that belong to Ragnor, Magnus knew that much. There wasn’t much else besides an old bottle of wine and beer. Which neither would help Alexander right now. Plus Alec was underage. He couldn’t offer any food, as there wasn’t any to offer. They are out a lot in this house. “Alexander?” A visible flinch as he’d called his boyfriend name.  _ Okay, maybe not that _ . Was what Magnus thought, sure he called Alexander by his full name, but maybe where Alexander was in his head wasn’t the best choice of names. “Alec?” Magnus called softly, which his Alexander’s eyes moved so they were on him. 

They weren’t the bright beautiful hazel-green, that Magnus normally saw. No, these were more brown and cold. It sent a shiver through his body, Magnus knew that deep down somewhere in there his Alexander was there. Magnus just didn’t know how to go about bringing him back out. Catarina and Ragnor were the ones that coaxed him out of his bad places. Alexander was much like how he’d been brought to the orphanage where he met Cat and Ragnor at. His mother had been murdered by his father in cold blood. For what? Protecting him? Because Magnus had broke something of his father’s. Asmodeus Bane was a cruel man, had often abused him and his mother. 

Cat and Ragnor both had saw something in that young boy. Something in needing a friend. They’d been able to save Magnus. Magnus needed to save Alexander from himself, right? Maybe he should call or text Alexander’s siblings. That just might be whole Alexander needed, but maybe he should call Cat. Maybe she’d know what to do, she had a twelve hour shift maybe she could spare a few moments for him?

*****

To Maryse in those moments after having watched Alexander leave with that  _ thing.  _ It had to have been that fairy that changed her son. Her Alexander was not, was not  _ gay.  _ There was no away that her little boy was. There couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible. She was still standing inside of her eldest room, where she’d found him  _ with  _  another guy. When had it become that she didn’t know her son anymore? Was it then? Or was it after she told him to get out? What had happened? When had Alexander drifted so far from her? Was she—had she been to wrapped up in her work again to see it? To see that Alexander was suffering—again?

Was she or had she been to absorbed into her own problems to see  _ this? _ Had she been so blind? To see that her oldest was  _ queer? _ Gay?  _ A fag.  _ One of those fairies that walked around showing affection to their partners? Like they should be allowed to be open about it. It was disgusting, her own son was disgusting and a disgrace. 

Somewhere inside of her own head was where Maryse had been, as she was still standing inside of Alexander’s room. “Alec?” Was she heard Izzy called, who thought her older brother was home. Maryse could hear the chatter among Isabelle and Jace. Max was probably still at karate, she thought. This meant they were home, it mean her  _ good _ children were home. If you could consider the things and how these two acted sometimes— _ good.  _ But at least the things that these two did were far more forgivable that what Alexander had done. 

“Mom?” It was Isabelle, “What’s going on? Why are you in Alec’s room?” Confusion was written all over her daughter’s face. Maybe Isabelle didn’t know what her brother had done, or  _ was.  _ It gave herself a bit of hope. Though instead of answering her daughter questions, Maryse proceeded with her own. “Did you  _ know!?”  _ For the first time since Alexander had left she felt the angry bubbling again. A frightened and confused look was written over her daughter’s face. “Did I know what, mother?” As Isabelle stepped into her brother’s room. “That your brother is a  _ disgusting fag!”  _ “MOTHER!” Her daughter rose her voice, it meant that Isabelle knew. Maryse’s face twisted in disgust, “What is going on?” Isabelle didn’t know what was going on, that was for sure. “Don’t play coy with me!” Just an infuriated as before as she was when she nearly hit that other disgusting  _ fairy.  _ Maryse knew that Isabelle knew, “I found your brother  _ with _ another man.” Her eyes flashed at Isabelle. 

“You  _ knew, _ didn’t you.” Maryse stepped closer to her daughter. Her voice was hushed but cold, as she watched Isabelle. Who had taken a step back, “What did you do?” Was what Isabelle answered with. “I told them to get out! Him and his disgusting counterpart. So you admit to knowing what your brother is.” Isabelle had known to a degree of her parents distaste for homosexuals. But seeing how her mother was acting now.. “Yes, mother. I knew.” Said equally disgusted as her mother was, but not with Alec.  _ With  _ her mother. 

“Do you not get what  _ year _ we live in? It’s 2018 mother, get over these ideal catholic beliefs.” Was what Isabelle said before storming back down the stairs. Leaving her mother to fume on what she’d just said. Magnus! It had to have been Magnus, their mother caught Alec with. “Jace come on!” Knowing good and well that Alec needed them both. “Whasgoinon?” He said with a big bite of food in his mouth. “Just come on I’ll explain once we’re out of here.” Her face was twisted in disgust, between with her mother and Jace’s eating habits.

She tried Alec’s phone but there was no answer, she looked through her contacts.. Only now realizing she didn’t have Magnus contact info. Izzy couldn’t stand to be in that apartment with her mother. Not after what she heard. Her brother graduates high school tomorrow and was having to deal with  _ this.  _ Iz started with twitter and direct messaged Magnus, hoping the man would look at probably the thousands of messages he got. She needed to know that Alec was okay, and hadn’t done something stupid. 

  
  



	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! Sorry for the delay, been trying to figure out what to write XD or well how to go about getting Alec from his state lol.  
> Be forwarned I know my Ragnor probably isn’t the best XD... sooo well yes
> 
> Feel free to follow me on twitter @CassiAnime and if you want use the hashtag for my story #followmebyslyfighter2011  
> My tumblr is @mylifebecamemalecthings folllooow me

Alexander had been sitting there for the last hour, he hadn’t said anything. Nor had even touched the drink Magnus offered him. Which was still sitting on the table, as was his own. It was some odd drink of Ragnor’s and was the only thing that wasn’t alcoholic in the house. What Magnus wanted was for his beautiful hazel eye man to wake up from wherever he was. He was chewing on his lip, watching Alexander just stare into the openness of his apartment. He’d tried calling Cat, but there hadn’t been any answer. Which meant she had her phone off, or it was elsewhere. 

It was when he got a direct message, Queen Iz.  _ Who the fuck?  _ Was what crossed his mind at first until he’d actually opened it. It was Alexander’s sister.  _ Does she know?  _ Magnus bit into his lip a little harder. Maryse Lightwood didn’t seem like one to keep quiet about her disappointment. That was what she saw her son as, that he was a  _ disappointment.  _ It hurt Magnus’ heart to think, as his Alexander was so gentle, sweet, kind—so many things Magnus could name. A disappointment wasn’t one of those. Which was what caused his hurt. 

Magnus had given Isabelle his number, which he answered on its first ring. “Isabelle,  _ slow down.  _ Alexander is  _ okay. _ ” That was something he wasn’t completely sure about. Physically Alexander was okay, it was mentally—that Magnus was worried about, “I don’t think he’s up for talking Isabelle. He hasn’t spoken since we left there, about two maybe three hours ago.” She wanted to talk to her brother, Magnus had thought about trying to get a hold of her earlier.. He just didn’t know what Alexander wanted, wasn’t sure what Alexander would be comfortable with. “We’re both okay, I assure you, but I can text you my address.” Magnus could understand how siblings were. Ragnor and Cat were basically that to himself, he often worried about the both of them. He was sure he’d worried them a time or two—maybe more. “Alright, we’ll see you soon.” He has gotten up at some point, he could sit and talk usually. Walking keep him focused while he talked, but now he was standing behind Alexander, as he sent the text to Isabella with his address. 

“Did you hear that Alec,” Not wanting to having Alexander flinching again. Magnus had never understood why, Alexander had shortened his name as he had. But again he’d never asked either, maybe he’d ask after all this. Once Alexander felt more safe with him? Was Alexander safe with him?  _ Haha _ .. His mind laughed at him, and was feeling a little self conscious of himself. Magnus hadn’t felt like this in quite sometime, even what Alexander’s mother had said shook him.  While Magnus had been a victim of a hate crime, when he’d been a year younger—maybe two than what Alexander was now. Those words that Maryse used, made him shiver. 

Maybe he should call Ragnor? And say what? That his boyfriend was trapped somewhere in his head, because his homophobic mother? “Isabelle’s coming, I think Jace too.” As he carded his fingers through Alexander’s hair. He wasn’t completely sure about Jace, but Magnus thought he’d heard the blond in the background. Maybe, calling Ragnor would help him? Or that would just bring up old memories Magnus  _ didn’t _ want to bother with. Thinking about what happened when he was fifteen was bad enough, talking about it with Ragnor again wouldn’t help. Just bring back pains, he’d much rather forget. Though Maryse’s words didn’t help, those words had always had some type of effect on him.

It was when there was a knock at the door, it had startled Magnus from his own preoccupied thoughts. The only person Magnus was expecting was Isabelle, and probably Jace with him. What he wasn’t expecting to see was Ragnor, who seemed to have forgotten his keys again? Magnus opened his mouth to speak to his friend, but the words were hung. He hadn’t been so glad to see someone before, especially  _ his _ best friend—who was basically family. 

Magnus who you wouldn’t think was emotionally wrecked by everything that had happened—had flung himself at Ragnor, “...” The words were there but, again still yet they were stuck. Confusion rang in Ragnor’s voice as he looked at Magnus, “Did Alex guy do something?” Magnus just shook his head, “N—no, nothing with Alexander.” He laughed to cover the crack in his voice. Nothing bad had happened with Alexander by himself, as a whole. No, the boy was amazing, with a pure soul. “It was Alexander’s mother, it um—complicated.” It was messy as it could get. Magnus hadn’t told his friends that Alexander wasn’t exactly out. Magnus had known, but hadn’t extended that to his friends. It didn’t matter, and wasn’t like Magnus cared. It wasn’t exactly like Alec was hiding their relationship from the world, it just had been his parents. 

“Well, Alec graduates tomorrow as you know, he had his last final today…” Ragnor nodded as moved into the apartment more, they were standing in the foyer of it. “Well after it he texted me if I was busy, I told him no…” Magnus was watching if Ragnor was listening as he was merely nodding, “If this ends up you telling me you had sex with the boy,  _ don’t  _ tell me.” Ragnor groaned as Magnus tended to tell him these things. “No, we hadn’t got that far.. His mother walked in on us..” Ragnor threw his hand over his face, “So, she walked in on you?” Trying to see where the big deal was, “Alexander hadn’t exactly came out to his parents.” Magnus said, watching the realization on Ragnor face. “Oh, so?” Not getting the feel grasp of it.

“His parents are  _ homophobic  _ assholes.” Magnus exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down. “Extremely Catholic, as well.” Magnus said, “Do they know what century were in?” He kind of laughed, “His mom was about to hit me, because I was defending him and before she could strike me he stopped her. She demanded us to leave, and we’ve been here for the last few hours..” Magnus said, “But he’s in this state,” Pulling Ragnor towards the living room. “It’s like he’s not actually there.” Magnus bit his lip, “His sister and brother are on their way here.” Magnus didn’t know what to do, “I’m scared for him, I don’t want to leave him alone.” Signing, Magnus didn’t want to leave Alexander. But, Magnus didn’t want to also betray Alexander’s trust in telling Ragnor about Alexander’s issues beyond everything that happened. “How are you doing,” Ragnor asked as the man knew Magnus’ past with similar issues. “I’m okay, I promise shaken yes, but I’m alright. I’ll be alright.” He tried to be okay, he was okay. It was Alexander that wasn’t even a bit  _ okay.  _

With saying that, there was another knock at the door, and this time it had to be Isabelle and Jace. “That’s probably them.” He looked towards Alexander with a sad smile. He was hoping that having them here would help Alexander come back from wherever he was in his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback of Alec’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time I updated this story was then the news broke of the cancellation, and I’ve been hard at work with many others trying to help save the show on twitter.. it feels sort of … idk the words I’m looking for posting this now after basically two months.. but I’ve been working off and on for the last few weeks and I don’t know if it does this justice or not... but I hope that everyone here is still on twitter or somewhere #ing #saveshadowhubters somewhere 
> 
> Because 14 million tweets  
> 20k for the Trevor Project  
> 150k in signatures on a petition 
> 
> And so so much more!
> 
> Anyways I hope this chapter is what you’ve been waiting for...

“Izzy, come on stop! I’m  _ not _ going!” Alec keep trying to protest with his younger sister that he wasn’t about to go to this part. One that neither one of them had been invited too, but somehow a thirteen year old Izzy had heard about the said party because of the buzz that had gone around. “ _ We _ are going big brother.” She’d turned from his closet shoving the clothes that she picked out for him. “You, Jace  _ and  _ myself are going to this party.” And that was that with Izzy watching her walk out of his room. 

Alec sighed looking at the clothes in his arms. Luckily the sleeves were long, and no one would see the new cuts Alec sported. His shame about it was there, but it wasn’t like there was much he could say or do really. It was the pressure of having to be prefect all of the time. With his parents, at school, his grades. Just thinking about how he felt about himself too. The denial he would keep denying, as long as he didn’t acknowledge it. Then it wasn’t true at least not to him, and no one else knew. 

Half hour later, Izzy had somehow gotten them into the party they hadn’t been invited too. There were several people around that attended Alec and Jace’s high school. None that Alec knew on much of a personal level, Jace seemed to be chatting someone up. A girl, which caused Alec to roll his eyes. He wasn’t a social butterfly like either one of them, he was standing against the far wall watching.

Which Alec was for certain a girl or two had pointed at him, saying his staring was sort of creeping them out. He blushed and forced his eyes elsewhere. Why was he here? Oh because Izzy had forced him to be, yet she was nowhere in sight. She was thirteen going on thirty, the way she acted. Being such a rebel, thinking she could break every rule that their parents made. Which even on a good day, she broke at least three of the rules. 

Now, Alec. Anyone that knew the Lightwood’s knew that Alec was Robert and Maryse’s golden child. He was the responsible one, the one that looked after his siblings if their parents worked late. It wasn’t like Alec minded, maybe he should’ve but Alec wasn’t exactly the typical teenager. Often much too quiet, and kept his head down at school. Almost all the teachers loved him, most thought that he was borderline genius. Which really it wasn’t the case, it was just Alec didn’t have a social life outside of his siblings and his best friend Lydia. 

When it had gotten far more tense and awkward where he’d been sitting before, Alec moved to another wall. There were faces of people he recognized, but Lydia was the only person besides Jace he spoke with at school. Jace was smooching some girl over there in the corner, and Lydia wasn’t here. She had some project due on Monday or something. Iz, she hadn’t been seen since they arrived. Heaven forbid what she was doing, maybe Alec thought for a moment that he should find her. She was only thirteen, but again Iz knew how to take care of herself. He was just being overprotective of her, and with good reason. 

She could be easily influenced, and this party had many older guys at it. If someone was hitting on his sister well.. They wouldn’t be alive, if that was the truth of what was going on. 

Izzy tended to be easily influenced by other older men, which Alec thought might have something to do with the lack of presence that Robert had in all of their lives. Maryse wasn’t much better, always busy with their jobs—and there was only so much a young fifteen year old could do on his own. Any persuading Izzy in anyway that he could see, well they wouldn’t be alive. But again, Alec knew that Iz could hold her own just as good as anyone else. It was just making him uneasy since he hadn’t seen her since basically when they arrived. 

After drinking a few drinks, Mother Nature was calling him to the restroom. It was along the way that he saw Jace making out with some blond chick. Which wasn’t all that surprising actually, because Jace thought of himself as a gift from God and that all the ladies loved him. Slightly worried that Alec hadn’t so much saw Iz while he wandered looking for the restroom. 

Not long after finding an actual restroom, and returned to find that his spot on the wall had been taken. His eyes had sort of bugged out of his head, because this had been the first time besides—those very few deniable moments where he clicked on a gay porn site. But as he had he would quickly close the site out and clear the history on his laptop.

Right now, Alec seeing it in front of him and they were of people around his age. Flushed cheeks, were sort of the understatement as Alec was unable to tear himself away. 

It wasn’t until someone started snickering, that anything had really caught Alec’s attention. After blinking and noticing someone pointing at him. Did he have something on his shirt? Had Alec spilled his drink at some point? Why was everyone pointing at him? It was when Alec looked down. Everything became crystal clear and his heart stopped. His eyes looking towards the two guys he’d been watching, and now they two were staring at him. 

As heavy as his legs felt in this moment, he found himself running from the apartment. How had things came to this?!  _ Hiding _ . In the last few months, maybe the last year Alec had successfully had hidden in his denial…

Because after seeing those two boys making out, it was like a ton of bricks hitting him. Making it all too aware that  _ this _ was his reality. Tears were streaming down Alec’s face with a chill running down his back as he slowed his pace down. He hadn’t stopped running even after getting outside. All his thoughts reverted from the people laughing at him. To thinking about Alec’s parents, there was no way Alec could ever come out. That much Alec knew for a fact, and new tears rolled.

What was he supposed to do? He was  _ gay _ , and to afraid to actually admit that he was. Too afraid to speak out again Maryse and Robert, because he was afraid of what they’d do. Everything was sort of spinning, like what now? The only thing Alec could do, was deny the fact of what he was right?

**

“ _ Alec _ !” It sounded like Iz’s voice followed by what sounded like Jace’s. What was going on? Wasn’t he at Magnus? Actually how had they gotten to Magnus. They had been at his place, graduation practice had ended early…

Where was Magnus?! The things that happened were pieces of what his mother had done..  _ Oh _ … Maryse knew that he was gay, a sense of dread washed over him. His eyes were exactly focused on anything really. He could tell that Iz and Jace were trying to get his attention. Normally Alec would be thrilled to see them, but right now. His body shook, because that meant they too knew that Maryse knew. 

They had known for at least the last year that Alec was gay, and still loved him. Maryse and Robert would do anything now to turn everyone against him. Just because. He knew exactly how they talked about people like  _ him.  _ That would be something they’d say, after being so careful. Alec had messed everything up. His parents  _ hated  _ him, and his siblings would soon follow too. Then after them it would be Magnus. Magnus would see how worthless he is, and he’d want nothing to do with Alec.

He was damaged, way beyond prepare. “ _ Alec _ ?” It sounded like Magnus. Why was Magnus calling him Alec, Magnus always called him Alexander. He was so confused, but why wasn’t he talking? 

“Wh-why are you calling me Alec?” He said looking clearly confused looking at Magnus. Who looked so relieved about something. What was going on? 

“Oh big brother.” Was what Iz said looking over in her direction as Magnus was clinging to his neck. Had he spaced out? From how they all looked, that was possible. Alec wondered how long for this time. The last time this probably happened was when Iz found him passed out in a pool of his own blood. Nervous thoughts crept into his head, wondering what everyone else was thinking. 

There were a few soft pecks being placed onto his check as Magnus nuzzled the crook of Alec’s neck afterwards. Who had sighed, from what Alec could tell was that they were relieved he spoke. He was aware of some of the things that happened, but most of it all seemed like a blur. “So, what happened?” He said looked at Izzy and Jace as he pulled Magnus a little closer to him. Their eyes were fixated on Magnus, who was content laying his head again Alec’s shoulder. 


End file.
